The Shadow King's Ultimate Test
by Kinthinia
Summary: Ashia Shinishiki is the daughter of a rival medical company to the Ootori's. Both companies decide to work together, and set about for an arranged marriage. But can she survive the drama and fall in love with the Shadow King?
1. The First Test

The Shadow King's Ultimate Test

Ashia Shinishiki is the daughter of a rival medical company to the Ootori's. Both companies decide to work together, and set about for an arranged marriage. Ashia must be able to endure the Host Club's Shadow King, and the drama that will ensue. A first-person romance between my original character and Bisco Hatori's (author of Ouran)

Please endure the lack of honorifics, I know very little about them. It will take some adjusting. And the updating may be slow, as I wish to explore this manipulative relationship. It's a new form for me to experiment with, so bear with me please.

The First Test

I was nervous, as I sat on the airport seat. I wasn't quite certain of what to expect. I had been told that I would be meeting my possible-fiancé. I had never met him before, hardly even heard of him for that matter. My father was arranging it; he said that it would be a good marriage between my family and theirs. It would be good for both of us, so he said. Our family, the Shinishiki family, was the rival to the Ootori family in the medical industry. We had been known for our extended rages which rocked both companies. Some wise person had stated that it would be better if the families worked together, and both men got the idea of marriage into their heads.

However, both of them did want to ascertain that there was some compatibility between myself and the youngest Ootori. My father at the very least was willing to pull the marriage proposal if there was no chance of compatibility. But I had to try, as did the gentleman I was about to meet. I felt a certain obligation to try. I wanted our companies to get along. There was no telling about what could be accomplished if the brightest medical minds could work together with the permission of both companies. I cared about the people, even if I didn't care about the man. Fair was fair, and I had to put the family's interests first. Whether I wanted to or not.

I looked up at the approaching figures. It was only one of the guards that I recognized. He had accompanied me here and then gone to find the youngest Ootori. I rose to my feet, bowing to the approaching figures. I straightened, and looked at them, feeling nervous apprehension gnawing at me.  
He was handsome, but in a sort of cold, harsh beauty. His glasses hid his eyes, and his hair accentuated that fact. Clearly he didn't mind his glasses, though I would have expected a rich business man's son to wear contacts. But it was a personal choice, and I wasn't going to judge. He wore strangely simple clothes; a white shirt with a black jacket over his shoulder (apparently plane's were warmer than I thought they were) and gray pants. His clothing was of high quality, I could tell that at a glance, but it was still simple. That had to count for something.

"Shinishiki-san," he said, stiffly, formally.

"Ootori-san," I responded in kind, my tone also formal.

One of the four men surrounding the young man bowed to us and exited silently. I suspected that he was the driver. "You requested us to meet here?" he pressed.

"Yes, I thought it better for both of us to be far from our comfort zone." I paused at that point, measuring his unreadable expression, "Well **further** from our comfort zones, anyways."

"Seems reasonable," he remarked dryly. "Shall we go?"

I shook my head, finding his cool reasoning odd. But I had nothing against him. I had however been expecting Ootori-san to appear more like the others did. I had been expecting someone athletic and fashionable. Ootori-san looked like neither. He was certainly graceful, that was impossible to miss in his elegant and lengthy stride. I did not mind that he walked ahead, his long legs carrying him further than my own could. I fell just below the height of one hundred and sixty centimeters. By one centimeter. It was a sore spot of mine, and it was exceptionally annoying to notice that Ootori-san was nearly twenty centimeters taller than me.

He stopped by the black vehicle, holding the door open for me. I offered him a murmur of gratitude as I moved into the back of the jeep. I noticed that the seats were leather and also black and that the windows were tinted. I couldn't help but note the similarity. Ootori-san wore black clothing, his guards and driver all wore black suits and the car was black. Oh yeah, there was no way that we would ever stand out in a city so full of color (please note my sarcasm).

Ootori-san sat beside me, climbing in and shutting the door. For some reason, the small expanse of a car seemed even tinier. I couldn't help but glance at him and notice how much more room he took up. I smiled at him, summoning a pleasant aura from my happy place. It was necessary to portray a genuine happiness at all times, and to convince others of it as well. As a child, I had learned the art of fake smiles and how to make them appear genuine. My mother had taught me the trick to a genuine smile, which derived from my "happy place".

"Where to Shinishiki-san?" asked the chauffer.

I looked over at my companion, "Would you like lunch, by any chance?"

"I'm not all that hungry, to be honest," he said. "Ate on the way here."

A shame. "Is shopping something you're averse to?"

If I hadn't been watching him, I would have missed it. He rolled his eyes. I recognized it the emotion behind it. And it vexed me. I was not a shopaholic and I derived no pleasure from it either. I shopped because I had to; because there was something I wanted. I did not do it for fun. I did not find it a sport. By any means, it was not the first thing on my priority list. I was trying to find something he wanted to do, something that I could survive doing. Something that would bring bonding between us. Something to start, or finish, our possible relationship. We weren't even betrothed.

"I'll take that as a yes," I responded, eagerly cutting him off. I didn't need to hear him lie about it as well, or for him to label me more than he already had. "What would you like to do?" I asked pointedly. I was not going to accept a deflection from him. If he disagreed with my suggestions, then we could very well do it his way. I didn't care all that much.

His gray eyes stared through his glasses, his prominent features evident. He had a sharp jaw, long nose and fine eyebrows. His jet black hair fell to his defiant chin, his bangs cut shorter so that they did not impede his sight. The jacket he had previously been carrying rested on his lap, as he sat comfortably. His long legs stretched towards the seat in front of him, and still had to be bent. But he didn't complain another peculiarity about him. I had experience with other gentlemen, and they would have spared no moment of agonizing over their predicament.

"Why not a café?" he inquired, a calculating gleam in his eyes.

"You said you weren't hungry," I replied tightly.

"I'm not, but I suspect you are. Either way, it's a nice little place where we might converse easily."

I wanted to complain at this point. He was playing with me. And I loathed that, more than anything. My parents had manipulated me easily enough over the years, and I had seen it coming. But there was nothing I could do to prevent it. I let them maneuver me for years. Whenever there was something I didn't have to do, I avoided it. This however, was something I understood as being necessary. It wasn't just that, there was more, but if I delved into those feelings right now, I could remain with them and it wasn't the time. If I looked back at them, angry and rebellious feelings would engulf me.

I let Ootori-san give the directions to the café he wanted to go to. I wasn't surprised that he had known a place to go to –he had done his homework as well as I might have, were I in his place. The café was called Hino's Café and I entered it with Ootori-san at my side. We selected a table and a waiter came by, handing both of us a menu. I carefully looked over the menu, choosing what to eat based on what I thought seemed more appropriate for a young lady of my rank. A salad, mineral water and small vegetarian sandwich. I didn't need to watch my carbohydrate intake for any reason. I did daily exercise to keep in shape. Walks, jogging and some self-defense training so that if I was ever in trouble I wouldn't be completely defenseless, helped to keep me in shape.

When the waiter returned (I couldn't help but notice that compared to my companion, his appearance seemed rather dull, but that had little to do with any decision that I made) I gave my order to him. Ootori-san ordered a small cup of tea. The waiter left and we were alone. Well, figuratively speaking, we were alone. The café had a few customers in it. And our guards were present. They were sitting a few tables away, keeping us in sight while being discreetly out-of-sight.

Ootori-san folded his hands and looked across at him. I suddenly felt a little self-conscious and I struggled to defeat the urge to move my hair nervously. I wasn't about to let him beat me in something like this. I was not some meek, demure lady that he could order, control and predict as he wanted. I was an equal, and I knew that he did not see me as one. I would _prove_ myself as one. I just hoped it wouldn't take too long.

"You attend Raiden Academy, correct?" he inquired, his eyes drilling into mine.

"I do," I replied easily. "And you attend Ouran, if I'm not mistaken?"

We settled for a moment, the strange sense of similarity between us echoing almost painfully. I had researched into his record a little. Just enough to know what he was allergic to, where he attended school and his grades. Nothing that was unavailable to the public eye. I obeyed the law. I had adequate technological skills, but I had no interest to increase them much further. I was a little worried that the temptation to do something illegal with it might strike me. And I didn't want that.

"That's true," he responded, recovering first. "I hear that you're not involved with any after-school activities."

"I used to be in the dance club," I stated.

"Why did you quit?" he almost sounded genuinely interested. Almost.

"I had other duties to deal with, at the time."

I didn't like his perceptive glance, it was beginning to give me chills. "You're enrolled in some activity called the Host Club?"

"Ah, yes, I am. Tamaki Suoh is the president," he said, as though I needed some reason to feel jealous of this fact. I was uninterested in business politics that did not involve the medical business. I wanted to focus solely on the medical companies, including the pharmaceutical ones. I was intending to be a doctor, or a business worker with the medical companies. I had yet to decide which I preferred more.

"Meaning you're the vice-president," I pointed out. He seemed to be avoiding labelling himself at all costs. Aside from being a cold-hearted person. I got that clearly from him.

"Manager," he supplied.

"Shouldn't the president handle that?" he was silent. I gathered his unwillingness to comply. I said nothing.

A waitress appeared, carrying a tray of our drinks. My mineral water, served in a glass, and his tea, in a small teacup. She bustled towards us, and I looked at my companion. I had been about to ask what the Host Club did, when icy coldness swamped me. I knew immediately what happened, as I sat there gasping with the frigidity of it. They kept their water _cold._ I was only dimly aware of her excessive apologies as I began to shiver. Stupid air conditioning. I didn't need to be any colder! And I most certainly didn't need to get sick.

"Do you have any towels?" Ootori-san was demanding, and I realized I was shivering. I felt something wet and slimy slip down my back, and I squeaked. Curses on all ice cubes! I jumped to my feet, hearing the ice cube splat against the seat.

"I-I think so," stammered the poor employee.

"Then get them!" he barked. Ootori-san was standing up, and as I shuffled from the wet seat and floor, I was aware of just how cold I was feeling. He wrapped his jacket around me before I could protest, while we waited for the towels. I wished that I could have been more persistent about refusing it, but I was too cold and it helped keep me warm.

When the waitress returned with several towels, Ootori-san took them from her and wrapped them around me. One wet around my wet head, absorbing the moisture from it while the others were set against my lap and chest. Ootori-san held onto his damp jacket, as I was bustled off to the washroom. Well, as far as first impressions go, mine could not be all that well. This was an exceptionally bad day. The waitress kept apologizing to me, but I was hardly aware of it until we entered the small room.

"It's alright," I finally snapped. "It was only water –an accident. Could have happened to anyone." But it happened to her, and thus to me. I was cold, and wet. I was going to leave here damp and I had no spare set of clothing to change into. This was only a day visit after all. I hadn't been intending to stay here and home was a few hours away. If I didn't get sick, I would be exceptionally grateful to my immune system.

I managed to get myself, and my clothes, as dry as I could. I was thankful that I had been wearing a dark shirt. It saved issues of transparency. Being as dry as manageable without being able to dry my clothes, had me still feeling chilled. Nothing could be done about it. I thanked the waitress, not particularly happily, but I did it anyways. I rejoined Ootori-san who handed me his jacket wordlessly. I saw irritation on his face. I suspected that he was the kind of person to make sure an employee got fired over an incident like this. I saw him look at me, about to say something. I cut him off first.

"It's fine. Let's just go." I didn't feel like eating anymore.


	2. Chapter One

Chapter One

Sitting in the plane, I endured the chill that was wrapped around my form. It was only a few moments until the plane landed and I would have to share the details of my afternoon with Ootori-san to my father. I was not exactly looking forward to that. I glanced at the overlarge coat I was wearing. He had made me keep it, in the hopes that I didn't get sick. I suspected that there was an alternative motive, but I had been too grateful to the added warmth that it didn't matter. It was beginning to now, although I would never specifically speak of it with Ootori-san. It would have been highly disrespectful.

As the airplane began its descent, I inhaled deeply. I was hopeful that my father would not be the one to greet me. It would mean explaining my damp appearance. I inhaled gently again as the plane coasted to a slow, easy stop. I exited the plane, and entered the terminal. I glanced around, looking for someone from my family. I spotted them standing near the seats. It was one of my mother's guards, and for that I was grateful. I walked over to Kurosu-san, who happened to be the most trusted bodyguard of my mother. It meant that I would not have to explain first-off to my father, which I was exceptionally pleased about.

The caramel haired guard was standing there, looking at me as I approached. Her sharp green eyes took in the jacket that did not belong to me, and the damp appearance. I was tired, and I bowed respectfully to her. Kurosu-san raised her finely arched eyebrow, "What happened?"

"Clumsy waitress," I replied shortly. "Can we just go? I'd really like to change into some fresh clothing."

Kurosu-san led the way. She was good at not asking the questions I didn't want to answer. But I also knew that she would hear what happened anyways. She would be driving with us, after all. Kurosu-san was always with my mother –I had never even known her to take a day off. Not that she didn't have her own life, but somehow the two never mixed. I had also never known the guard to get sick. She was a strong, healthy woman. Her five foot ten height added to her intimidating appearance. Well, at least I had heard that it was intimidating. I had never seen Kurosu-san like that before.

Kurosu-san led the way to the limousine and I entered it. I slid into the back, where my mother sat. Her dark brown hair was braided back, as usual, revealing her ivory complexion. She held a magazine in her hands, and glanced at me as I entered. Her look became one of disapproval and wondering. I saw the question in her gray eyes, without her needing to voice it.

"A waitress was awed by Ootori-san's good looks, and spilt a glass of icy water on me," I explained. "Ootori-san gave me his jacket," I added, indicating the jacket I was wearing. There was no point in exaggerating anything.

"I had heard from his father that he was a respectful boy," replied my mother, her eyes carefully gauging my appearance. "Seems true. Your father wants to speak with you immediately," she paused at this, watching my reaction, "I suggest you clean up first."

I inclined my head, respecting her wishes. My mother had less interest in my affairs than my father did. Concerning grades and relationships, he was always aware of what I was doing. He didn't hear it from me very often. He either sent my mother to get the details from me, or he had one of his many attendants retrieve the information. It didn't matter all that much to him, so long as he got the information.

When we got to the mansion, I headed off for my room. I passed by the maids on my way there, and one of them followed me. She helped me change from the damp, annoying clothes that I was wearing into fresh ones. If she had her way, I would have been thrown in for a shower but I had to meet with my father and having him waiting for me was not a good idea. He disliked waiting for others; probably one of the reasons why he was rich was because of that. He had been born into a wealthy company, but he had added fame to the Shinishiki name. He had expanded the company himself, because he was tired of waiting for others. The only person he might have waited for, was my possible-fiancé's father. Other than that, there was no one that I could think of. Maybe those he wanted to impress.

I knocked on his study door and his voice greeted me, allowing me access to enter. I bowed deeply to him. "Good afternoon, Otousan," I said.

"Sit," he said curtly, indicating the empty seat across from his desk.

His desk was neat and orderly, much like his appearance. The papers were set to one side, and his computer at the other. He was positioned between the two tools of his job. He looked at me, his dark blue eyes watching me. His coal black hair was sorted neatly, and he was clean shaven. I followed his command sitting across from him. He had never been a distant figure to me, mostly because I was the oldest child. My younger sister was being groomed for a glorious modeling career that would help the family form connections.

I knew my father was an ambitious, powerful man as well as an affectionate one. He loved my mother. When I was younger, he had spent time with me. But his career was important too, and now that he might take himself to the highest position he was focused again. He was driven for what he wanted, and he had no problem using his family as pawns. I understood that too. I partly wished for a different relationship with him, but I knew that if that were the case everything would be considerably different and I was content with how things were at the moment. I may not have liked it, but I knew how to cope with it and as for how the situation was set up, I managed fairly well.

"How did it go?" he inquired, his eyes not missing my moist hair.

I told him the same as I had told my mother. He didn't seem particularly pleased with it, but he was not disappointed either which I was grateful for. I was waiting for his response about whether the engagement would go further or not, when he told me what he was going to do. It left me stunned as I stared at him. I had made an erroneous judgment for what he decided to do in the end.

"I am going to progress the engagement with Ootori-san," he said, indicating my possible-fiancé's father.

"Otousan, we did not get along very well," I protested as respectfully as I could. "I thought the agreement was for the proposal to continue only if we got along."

He raised his eyebrow in a silent questioning, "It seems to be that you will get along well. It won't be ironclad." Yet. I could hear that insufferable word in his tone.

I paused, considering how to politely protest this. But I knew that I couldn't, and perhaps that was what made it harder. Still, the smile easily slid onto my face as I replied, "If it will help the company, Otousan."

He nodded, smiling pleasantly. "I am glad that you are being so understandable about this, Ashia." I knew his tone was one of dismissal. I rose to my feet and bowed.

"See you after, Otousan," I said politely as I left the room.

I headed up towards my room. I was tired and I wanted a shower. I wanted to be dry and warm again. I turned to the nearest bathroom, which was nearest to my room. I turned on the shower, letting it warm up as I prepared to enter it. Something relaxing would be nice, after this day. I had planning to do. I spent my restless sleeping time and shower time thinking about things. In this case, today, I was going think about what to do with my fiancé.

Ootori-san would be hard to predict. But I would do it. I was not going to be some amateur to him. I wouldn't be condescended to. I wouldn't accept patronization. I was better than that. And no matter who they were, I would show them that I was better. I would always be better. Maybe it was something drilled in my head since I was a child, but I had always wanted to succeed. I still did.

As I stepped into the shower, I let the hot water flow over me. It was welcoming. I thought about what to do. Likely, there would be another arrangement with my fiancé in a few days. I sighed; somehow it wasn't hard to adjust that title to him. It should have been. Then again, I had been preparing for this for several months. Today had just been the first experiment with it. And according to my father, it had all gone perfectly. Or decently enough for a marriage to be formed from this.

Tch. Ironclad, he said. It would end up being that way once they had the engagement worked out. I knew that. He knew it too. There had to be some other purpose for those words. I was the one left to sort out this engagement. I was the one who had to make an effort. I had to be the one doing it because I wanted the companies to succeed for the betterment. But it didn't have to matter to Ootori-san. All that was necessary for him, was to contribute to the engagement. Or to make it more difficult. It didn't matter. I was going to do this.

How could I prove my worth to him? That was harder to work through. If we met again, it would depend on the location that we went to. I needed to understand his personality flaws better. I knew nothing about him aside from his cold heartedness and calculating precision. I needed find something that would make him think of me as something more than a pawn or a tool. But I wasn't sure how to go about doing that. We needed to know one another better, as a first step into resolving this issue. I tolerated the manipulation from my father, and mother, so it wasn't going to be impossible to withstand it from my fiancé. So long as I could though, I would have to avoid his webs. I didn't know what he wanted, let alone what his opinions on our engagement were. And I needed to know more about that Host Club he was a part of.

I quickly finished washing and left the refreshing shower. I changed back into the dry clothes and headed for my room. I needed to do a search about the Host Club, see what I could find. Entering my room, I hit the power button on my screen and waited. I had previously expected that Ootori-san might be interested in sharing about his club, but I had not even been able to ask him the question today. Which left more work for me to do. I had school tomorrow, and it wasn't as though I could just let my studies slide. I was praised as being one of the top students in Raiden Academy, and I wasn't about to lose that position.

Meguri, my younger sister, had no worries about her grades. She was privately tutored while she was modeling and passing was good enough for her. She often did considerably better than that, but usually only if there was a lapse in work for her. She was only fourteen, yet despite that she was quite popular. She sometimes did acting, and tended to make appearances in music videos.

I liked to keep on top of everything. Studying, socializing and avoiding manipulations were what I kept a close eye on. My grades were highly important and my socialization was an invaluable asset to me while defeating any manipulations that I could get away with. Once the computer was running, I was ready to search about the Host Club. One of the maids knocked at my door and I granted her permission. She held out an envelope towards me.

"One of Ootori-san's men came by, Ashia-sama," she said respectfully. "He said that it was for you."

I took the envelope and opened it gently. I pulled out the message inside, which was a small letter with fancy writing on it. It clearly read: _Shinishiki-san, you are cordially invited to Ouran Academy's Host Club in the Third Music Room, after school._ I frowned at this. It had been printed in a light blue color on a white paper, with a neat yet precise font. It was elegant at the same time, not quite.

"Thank you," I said absently to the maid. I turned to my computer screen and brought the Internet up. It was time to find out just _what_ this club was all about.

As I found information about it, it mentioned that Tamaki Suoh was the president. My fiancé had said as much about that. Kyoya Ootori was the vice-president. Hikaru and Kaoru Hitachiin were also involved with the club. Mitsukuni Haninozuka, usually called Honey, was also in this club as Takashi Morinozuka. And Haruhi Fujioka was also part of it. Interesting. I had heard of all of them, except for the last one. I had not heard of him. It would take more research to unearth who the last was.

Ah-ha! There it mentioned what this club did. I read on eagerly, anxious to learn where I would be going tomorrow after school. I wasn't about let the opportunity pass.


	3. The Second Test

The Second Test

I was standing outside the elegant doors of the third music room in Ouran Academy. My fiancé was at my side. He had met me when I entered the school with an aloof manner. His pale powder blue jacket accentuated his light complexion and dark hair. He glanced towards me, and smiled gently. I tentatively returned the gesture. This ostentatious building put Raiden Academy to shame.

"Welcome to the Host Club, Shinishiki-san."

To say that the interior of the room was unexpected would have been an understatement. Just as describing it as being interesting would have been. The room was designed to appear like a haven apparently. Flowers were everywhere and something told me that the design was not meant to last. It seemed transient. It was transient of course, a theme lasting only one day and only being used once. Still, I hadn't expected that the temporariness would be so palpable.

The hosts were arranged spatially through the room, advertising the flowers that each of them had. It was heavily aromatic in the room, and I was grateful that my sense of smell was not very sensitive. If it had been, I probably wouldn't have been anywhere near as tolerant. I only had what must have been a dim impression of the flowery aromas that darkened the room. The hosts and the guests alike seemed oblivious to it, but it was manageable.

It was also easy to define which guests belonged to each host. They carried their host's flower, and each host had a specific flower. I glanced at the flower on my wrist, wondering if anyone else was bearing the same flower. I knew that a wry smile was tugging at the corners of mouth, but it was hard not to whenever I looked at the flower. It was a hydrangea that Ootori-san had given me. It was pretty and delicate looking with a soft accenting color.

Ootori-san guided me towards an empty couch that had a small handful of candytufts spread around it. The flowers were variant colors of pink, and they complemented the dark red of the small loveseat. I sipped at the provided tea, enjoying it. I had hardly spoken to my fiancé since arriving here, and I was aware that I stood out. The girls of Ouran wore bright yellow dress that screamed cheerfulness. I was wearing the uniform of Raiden which consisted of a violet jacket over a lavender blouse with a long azure skirt.

I was far from being oblivious to the glowers that some of the guests were directing towards me. I suspected that they were Ootori-san's regular guests. He was sitting comfortably beside me, his long legs stretched out towards the small table near us. He glanced at me, the cold calculation apparent in his eyes as he measured me.

"Thank you for the flower, Ootori-san," I said, looking at my flower. I felt strangely unique at that point. "And this invitation."

He smiled, "When I heard that the arrangement was going on smoothly, I thought it appropriate that we become accustomed to one another."

"Are you pleased with how the arrangement is working out?" I wanted to ask his opinions on the engagement itself, but I couldn't. It would have been strange had I, and at the very least far too blunt. I needed to measure his inference abilities, reactions and our compatibility. If I wanted us to be equals, then I needed to prove my own abilities.

"I don't particularly care, until the vows are exchanged. Plans change, things go wrong within that span of time," he said, taking a slow drink from his tea.

I looked around the room, deciding to change the topic. I didn't think that he was lying, nor did I think that he was concealing the truth. I expected that it was the truth. He had probably been honest but within limitations. I lacked the patience to instigate mind games, but I had the ability to defeat them when placed upon myself.

"Is today's theme of flowers based on anything at all?" I inquired.

He chuckled, "Nice to see you've done your research. It's based on Tamaki-sama's whim today."

I looked over and spotted the president of the Host Club in one glance. He had attracted a small gathering of girls around him. When one of the girls stepped away, swooning, another took her place. I saw Suoh-san hand her an iris before they began to talk. I looked back towards my fiancé, aware that this was part of his life. These were his friends –and almost all of them had a prestigious background. Ootori-san was watching me curiously, apparently waiting for me to say something. It felt necessary to speak when his iron eyes were on me. I had never experienced the discomfort of having been watched closely with a forceful gaze. It was disconcerting.

"I am interested in meeting their acquaintance," I suggested softly. There would be more to find out about him by meeting his friends, and seeing him interact with them.

He glanced around the room, taking in whatever information he needed in that one quick look. He rose to his feet and extended his hand towards me. He helped me to my feet, although I did not need it, and pointed to one of the hosts. "Haruhi-kohai doesn't seem that busy at the moment. You can meet him first. You'll forgive me won't you, if I leave you on your own?"

"You have customers too," I responded graciously, inclining my head to him. "I think I'll be fine."

I walked towards the host that my fiancé had indicated and he looked towards me with big brown eyes. There were fewer girls crowding him, but I noticed that white jasmines surrounded him. He somehow seemed far from being manly, and I wondered how no one could have noticed that Fujioka-san was actually a girl. I knew only because I had researched her, and discovered that she was registered as being a female. Either way, with the flowers all around her she didn't appear to be very masculine.

She looked up at me and smiled warmly. "Shinishiki-san, right?" she inquired. "Kyoya-senpai said that you would be here."

I wondered if he had told them that I was his fiancée. Unless they brought it up, I wasn't going to. I decided it on the spur of the moment, as I was not particularly wishful of discussing it. "And you're Fujioka-san, correct?"

She laughed, and seemed as surprised by it as I was. "No need to be that formal Shinishiki-san." She smiled again, warmer and indicated that I could sit beside her. I did so, feeling comfortable and at ease with her.

"Should I address you as Haruhi-san?"

"Or with –kohai –I am your junior too," she stated.

"Well, if I call you as that, you should be able to use a more familiar term to address me with."

"Ashia-sama?" she said hesitantly. I smiled at her, feeling genuine warmth emanating from me. She seemed to notice the flower on my wrist and looked over at me. "Did Kyoya-senpai give that to you?"

"He did," I responded, glancing towards him. He was seated with the candytufts and several guests who all wore the flower that he gave them. I still felt unique, oddly, with my hydrangea. No one else had one. And I had a flower, which made me feel accepted with the others.

"It's very different from what he's giving to his customers, isn't it?" Haruhi-san noted.

I nodded. The candytufts were small heads of bright colors, while the hydrangea that I wore had a small rounded floret of blue. "It is." I wasn't about to protest the difference between it, as I was not Ootori-san's customer and I did prefer the hydrangea.

She looked over at me again, "What school are you from, Ashia-san?"

"Raiden Academy," I responded absently. At her intake of breath I looked at her.

"That school's second only to Ouran, isn't it?"

I frowned; I didn't usually pay attention to the school's rivalries. It didn't interest me. I focused on different topics, like the popularity within the school and how the socializing went. That was what I watched and followed with an avid interest. My mother had once told me that high school was preparing me for the politics of the financial world –even though they would be harder after school the lessons they taught would be invaluable. My mother had not paid close attention to any politics before she married my father. When the two of them married, she had been thrust into a world and had to learn everything as quickly as possible.

"I don't really know," I said amiably.

At that point one of the girls walked over. She looked at us and smiled kindly, "May I intrude?" she asked.

Both Haruhi-san and I rose to our feet. I bowed to her, "It was nice to meet you," I said, bowing. I noticed that even the petite girl before me, was taller by a few centimeters.

"Same," she said, rising. "Would you like a flower?" she added, as an afterthought.

"Certainly," I admitted, more for the sake of politeness than an actual desire to possess a white jasmine. She handed me one with a smile and I set it on the lapel of my jacket before I left.

I wandered over to the next host who was closest to me. It happened to be Morinozuka-san. Haninozuka-san was close by as well, a few steps away if anything. Morinozuka-san had very few customers surrounding him at the moment. I slid into the group, noticing that he handed his customers a dragon lily. They spoke with him, I noticed, more than he did to them. He said a few words, but that was about the extent of their conversation. When the customer with him left, I walked up and greeted him.

He was tall. I realized that as I saw him standing there. He had to be one hundred and ninety centimeters if not more. I was only a hundred and fifty-nine. It was intimidating –his height. I felt slightly envious. I wished that I could have been taller. His dark eyes flickered towards me, and took in my different appearance as well as the two flowers I was wearing. Silently, he held a dragon lily out to me. I accepted it, thanking him, and tied it around my other wrist.

He indicated that I could sit beside him at the window if I wanted. I declined with a gesture of my hand and he turned to look out the window. Curious, I did look out the window as well. There was a large fountain beneath it, which was apparent. The grass was rich and green and the weather was sunny. I glanced covertly at him and despaired. He was greatly taller than I was. I had thought that Ootori-san was tall. Nope. Morinozuka-san was my new definition of tall. I didn't mean to insult him by thinking that, but almost everyone was taller than me –this was my first time meeting someone who was this much taller than I was.

We didn't say anything, but when one of his customers came by he said, "Shinishiki-san," and then turned to his customer. He had said it, most likely to indicate that he knew who I was and he wanted me to know it too. That was my logical explanation of him. The other reason could also have been that he was just being polite. Both options worked, and were equally plausible.

I went to Haninozuka-san next. He sat at a smaller table adorned with sweets of all kinds, but cake was the most prominent one. At my approach, a group of his customers all rose from their seats. I noticed that they all had baby's breath woven in their hair, and I could see the fine flowers at the boy's side. He beamed up at me, his large brown eyes innocent and sweet.

"You must be Ashia-san," he said warmly. "I'm Honey," he stated. "And this is Usa-chan," he added, indicating the pink rabbit that was seated on his lap. He gestured for me to sit, and I obeyed. "Cake?"

I accepted his offer, and he handed me a plate with a thin slice of vanilla cake. It was an appropriate amount to eat. "Thank you Haninozuka-san," I said.

"Honey," he corrected, his big eyes twinkling.

"Thank you, Honey-san," I repeated, slowly. It seemed odd to me, to refer to someone older than me with such a name.

He beamed and watched me for a moment. Trying to distract myself, I took a bite of the cake. "Do you like it?" he quizzed.

I nodded my head –it was high quality, excellent cake. Even I, who usually had only a limited fondness for sweets had to admit that it was delicious. I smiled at him, surprising myself with the honesty of it. Another genuine smile –without me summoning it from my "happy place" as I had been taught -surprised me.

He handed me a wreath of baby's breath while I was eating. I surprised myself by managing to eat the small slice that he had given me. It was the best that I had ever tasted. I absently accepted the wreath and placed it on top of my head. I smiled again at Haninozuka –Honey-san. He looked young, and acted it, but he was a year older than I was. It was actually intimidating to me, that he retained such boyishness while being older than me. It was cute, but daunting for a reason that I could not explain.

Thanking my host, I went to the next one when a group of his customers gathered. Suoh-san greeted me warmly. "Princess Ashia-san," he said amiably, "welcome!"

"Suoh-san," I returned politely.

"Please, call me Tamaki," he said extravagantly. Irises seemed to suit him. They were around his small area. I could see a group of girls who all held his flower glancing over and whispering about me no doubt. I supposed I did stand out with my foreign uniform and four different flowers.

"Tamaki-san," I corrected.

He grinned, "It's always nice to have a new face in the club." He looked around, pride in his eyes. He turned back to me, and held one of his irises towards me. "Welcome princess," he repeated.

I accepted his iris and tucked it into my lapel. I turned towards him, for some reason it was hard to remember that he was the whimsical president of this club. He planned nearly all, if not every, event that the club did. I suspected that Ootori-san had some say in the matter too. I wasn't entirely certain of the inner workings of this club. It could be interesting to learn, especially since Tamaki-san made sure that the club had fun with whatever they did.

I wasn't sure if I was the only one feeling awkward as he looked at me. His mauve eyes met my teal ones and I turned away from his gaze. "Your club is very unique," I said, looking back at him. It was uncomfortable to meet his gaze. I looked around again, noticing all the smiling faces. This club truly did make people happy. Even I had smiled. "It's nice to see that everyone is happy," I added, looking back at him.

"Thank you, Ashia-san," he said earnestly, moved by my words. "I'm happy to have made all of them happy."

It was strange that I somehow spent the least amount of time with Tamaki-san, but there was little that I could do about it.

A small group of his customers gathered. I excused myself, again thanking my host. I turned to the next host and found myself facing the twins. They turned to me, identical grins on their faces. "Welcome Ashia-san," they said in unison and I wondered if word had spread from Haruhi-san to them in such a short span of time.

The two of them were both standing, and I again had to endure being shorter than people. Honey-san was the one I was desperately hoping was shorter than me. If he was taller, I was not going to take it very well. I had not expected to see so many tall people here. Raiden Academy seemed to feature shorter people. Then again, there were a few tall ones but none of them grouped together and my interactions with them were limited as they rarely circled into the mainstream of the school's politics.

They looked at me and said, "You're really short." I glowered up at both of them. One of them put his hand on my head and raised it to his own, making the height difference between us very noticeable.

The other said, "You really are vertically challenged."

"I thought Honey-senpai was short," replied the other twin.

I had no idea who was who, and frankly, at that moment, I didn't care. My stature was something that I valued deeply, and I struggled with it. I loathed the teasing that I received. "I am not short!" I stated hotly. It was an immature comment, sure, but I would not be insulted.

"I never called you short," defended the one twin who had called me vertically challenged.

"What you called me, meant the exact same thing," I informed him curtly.

"Not really," he retorted.

"What he said really meant that you have troubles with vertical things," his twin defended.

"Which means I'm short," I replied testily. "That's what you're saying."

"No –" his twin again started to defend him.

I looked at both of them and for some reason in struck me then. I knew each of them in that moment. Hikaru-san was calling me vertically challenged and his brother was defending him. I knew it because of the look in their eyes. Kaoru-san had wariness in his hazel eyes while his twin had incomprehension. Hikaru-san did not realize the fact that I was overly angry –he wanted to egg me on. Kaoru-san however was apprehensive of pushing me too far, whether because he figured I had a relationship with Ootori-san or because he was uncertain of what I would be like if I let my temper out of hand. Kaoru-san had a better understanding of socializing.

It hit me in a strange moment of clarity, that realization. I braced my shoulders, standing up straight as I looked at the twins. I felt irritated. A single sweet william was thrust into my face and I accepted it slowly, looking at Kaoru-san in the eye. He smiled tightly, "I'd be honored if you would wear this," he said, his voice strangely terse.

I glanced behind him and saw why. My fiancé was glowering in his direction, as was Tamaki-san from the other side of the room. I glanced back as I finished pinning the red sweet william to my other lapel, the one that was holding the iris in place. Hikaru-san was also holding out a flower to me, his was a purple carnation.

"Sorry," he said, sounding far from apologetic.

I glanced at Kaoru-san and thanked him before wordlessly accepting the carnation from Hikaru-san. I set the carnation behind my ear, feeling suddenly ridiculous in all the flowers. It was still pleasant, but I was starting to feel a little self-conscious. Ootori-san rose to his feet suddenly (I only noticed as he had clapped his hands and the noise had drawn my attention) and I saw that he had a clipboard tucked under his arm.

He seemed to be addressing everyone. "The Host Club is over," he said. "Thank you for coming," he added.

With a sigh voiced by all the girls, they slowly left the room. The majority of them all wore smiles on their faces. I too rose and went to the door, uncertain of what exactly I was supposed to do. Glancing at my watch, I realized that my driver was going to arrive in a few moments. I had told him to return in an hour or so, and he was honoring his word. I stopped at the door, aware that the Host Club was watching me. I turned back to face them and smiled honestly.

"Thank you all," I said, leaving the room.

At the stairwell I stopped for a moment, finding that there was a smile on my face. It had been a long time since I had found an occasion to smile genuinely. I stopped and shook my head, clearing my thoughts. As I was about to leave, I heard my name called out. I froze looking back, and saw Ootori-san approaching. He descended the few steps and walked towards me. He didn't look happy –he looked displeased.

I went to say something but he pinned me into the corner of the stairwell. His arms were at his side, but he was tall enough, that it had taken no effort for him to herd me into the corner. His gray eyes flashed menacingly and I knew that I had done something wrong. And whatever it was, I regretted. The look in his eyes was unforgettable. Intimidating and callous –it both startled and frightened me. I wasn't sure what he was going to do.

His hand moved towards me and pulled the carnation from behind my ear. It then gently pried the wreath from hair. The flowers in my lapel were tugged out and the lily was slipped from my wrist. He had my small shoulder-bag (which I had apparently forgotten in the third music room) and placed the flowers inside it. He set it down and looked at me. The furious glare was still in his eyes, despite how controlled his movements had been, he was enraged.

"As my fiancée," he said, his voice carefully measured, "you are mine and mine alone. Yet you disregard that fact, and accept flowers from _every_ host," he hissed. "We are engaged to be married, and you waltz around with their flowers as well as mine."

I met his eyes, confused and irritated myself at his outburst. "I wasn't the one who neglected to say that I was their fiancée," I growled.

His eyes narrowed, "I thought that I would leave that to you. I thought that you would have more than enough intellect," he sneered at this point, "to inform them of the engagement."

I straightened to my full height (just reaching around his chin) and fixed him with a scowl. "I thought that it would be unwise to say something like that in front of your customers," I snarled. "I thought that it might lose you customers. I thought that it might be unwise –I thought that you _valued_ your customers. But seeing as how that was unintelligent, and that being polite is not a necessary trait, I will excuse myself and make sure to never repeat the same mistake again," I snapped viciously. "Now if you would _kindly_ step out of the way, I will write a letter and explain everything as I ascertain to never return to the Host Club."

I saw him calculate the advantages and disadvantages of it in a moment. In only a few seconds he had weighed my value to him and the club. In a few seconds I was cut down in worth and dissected by my fiancé. "Tell them tomorrow," he said simply, moving back to give me more personal space.

I met his gaze as I slung my bag over my shoulder. "I might botch it again, Ootori-san," I said dead serious, "I think it better if you handle it."

I walked away at that point. I didn't expect to get very far. And I didn't either. His hand on my shoulder forced me to turn around and face him. He wasn't looking at me this time. "Since the Host Club prefers first name usage, you might as well use mine."

"Kyoya-san," I said, acknowledging that I had heard him, "let me go." He did so, but there was no sense of complacency or passiveness from him. There was something about him that suggested an unbeatable iron will.

I headed towards the stairs, this time unimpeded. I glanced back at my fiancé to see him watching me. I walked down the stairs and didn't look back again. I was a little nervous that I might get lost, but I managed to leave the school and arrive at the car in good time. Kurosu-san was waiting for me again in the vehicle. But my mother was not with her. We headed off to the mansion, and during the drive I absently fingered the hydrangea on my wrist.


	4. Chapter Two

Chapter Two

Kurosu-san noticed my gentle touches to the hydrangea. She looked at it and then at me. "Who gave that to you, Ashia-sama?"

"Kyoya-san," I replied tensely and folded my hands in my lap.

"Do you know the meaning of that particular flower?" she asked slowly, cautiously.

I turned to her, seeing that her gray eyes reflected concern. I frowned, "No –I couldn't even guess at it."

She shook her head. "It's a sign of frigidity, or heartlessness, if you will." She eyed the hydrangea again, "I wonder if he knew that was its meaning."

If he did know that the flower had meant that, then he was already forsaking the marriage. "What do candytufts mean, if you receive one?"

She paused to consider for a moment, "Indifference –why?"

"Those were the flowers that his customers received." I opened my bag and carefully lifted the flowers from them, setting them on my lap. "I met with all the hosts today, and received one from each."

Kurosu-san lifted up the white jasmine first, "Friendship," she said, returning the flower. "My compliments," she said to the iris, which I took to be its meaning. "Grant me one smile," she said, indicating the sweet william from Kaoru-san. "Capriciousness," she remarked about the carnation. "Innocence," she said, holding the baby's breath wreath in her hands for a moment. "And inner power," she told the dragon lily before returning it to the pile.

I shook my head for a moment, amazed and impressed. "How did you know that, Kurosu-san?"

"My mother works as a florist," she said, looking ahead, "and she originally intended for me to follow in her footsteps. Naturally learning this was necessary if I wanted that."

I nodded, intrigued. "Well I'm glad that you shared this with me, Kurosu-san. Thank you."

We arrived at my mansion and I went inside to my room. I set out to do my homework before anything else. I received no messages from the maids about seeing either my mother or father. It was a usual day.

I wondered if what I had said had bothered Kyoya-san. I had intended for it to do so. But he had hardly shown a reaction to it. I wondered if what I said even made a difference. Tomorrow I would be returning to the Host Club. I wondered if he would actually tell them that we were engaged. It was his responsibility –not mine. They were his friends, not mine. My friends didn't know either…

I froze at that point and turned to my phone. I grabbed it and dialed in their numbers, one by one. I told each and every one of my friends that I was engaged to Kyoya Ootori. They were shocked but happy for me if I was happy with it. I told them that I would talk to them about it at school. When they hung up, I sighed in relief. I had been a hypocrite to him, but I had told them immediately and before I introduced him to them, they would have known. I wasn't keen to get married to him and I was partly hopeful that the whole situation would fall down. I wanted the companies to get together, for the medical situation but I didn't want to marry Kyoya-san. I was willing to, despite the fact that I didn't want to.

I rose and walked over to my vanity. I grabbed my brush and pulled it closer while I untied my hair with the other. My dark red hair fell down shortly past my shoulders. I usually wore it down, but whenever I did I tied the part of my hair that fell around my ears, back. My soft bangs fell down around my eyes, while being too short to impede my vision. My eyes were teal green and stared out from a pointed face. I had fairly angular features. My eyelashes were long and they framed my eyes perfectly, and my fine eyebrows were gently arched over my eyes in a sophisticated way. My complexion was slightly tanned, from spending time in the sun during the warmth of freedom.

I was only one hundred and fifty-nine centimeters tall, but I had an elegant form. Modest curves and a lithe form made up my body figure. I moved with a learned grace from self-defense training and had for so long that it seemed natural. The cosmetics that I wore were in a small, soft touch to accentuate my natural colors. Sometimes I never wore them –they were too much of a hassle for me. I applied my own make-up, being to flinch-prone for even the maids to tolerate. Whenever they tried, the cosmetics tended to become smudged because of my jerking. I startled relatively easy and sudden movements often made me flinch.

I took the flowers from my bag and set them around my vanity. The room smelt a little fresher and slightly flowery, but nothing overwhelming. It was a subtle touch. I packed away my completed homework and turned away. I had to plan for tomorrow. I had to determine what to do if Kyoya-san told them Host Club of the engagement. I also had to plan on what to do, if he didn't tell them. I needed to ascertain that I was not going to go back on my word for any reason. They were his friends –not mine. He should be the one to tell them that we were engaged. It wasn't my responsibility.

I could have very easily told them that I was his fiancée. But I was not going to. I wouldn't have wanted to fear it from my friend's fiancé that they were getting engaged. I would want to hear it from my friend herself. Never from the fiancé. I felt that Kyoya-san was obliged to his friends. He was the only one with the right to tell them of our engagement. It wasn't something that I would intrude on. Friendships were not supposed to be tossed around or walked on. I didn't want to offend them, or ruin their relationships with him. I didn't even know what those friendships were. I had no idea as to what I could affect and I didn't want to do any harm.

It was safer for me to leave it to my fiancé. He was the one who had to explain everything. I was going to leave it for him to fix. I sighed. But what to do if he told them? I supposed that the answer was obvious. Get along with them again, draw certain lines of acceptable behaviors and move on. If Kyoya-san was angry at me, it could be sorted out. I could tolerate rage. In an abstract way, I suppose that I did feel a little guilty. I had forgotten what the Host Club itself meant. By accepting flowers from the other hosts, I had belittled my fiancé. I regretted that –it wasn't my intention to have done that.

It was my responsibility to honor my husband, and as much as I had failed to do that, he had neglected to inform his friends of our relationship. I knew that we were both at fault for it. I wasn't going to take all the blame for it. But to be honest with myself, and the future relationship that I would have with him, I felt that it was my duty to apologize to him. I didn't want to. And I loathed to admit it, but I would apologize to him. I had insulted him because of my carelessness –because I had forgotten the meaning of the Host Club. It was my fault. I inhaled deeply. I didn't care to apologize but it was necessary. It was about the relationship, not my pride and certainly not his. I could suck up my pride for one day and apologize. The relationship mattered more than my pride. The unity of the medical companies matter far more than my pride.

Tomorrow, when I saw Kyoya-san I would apologize to him. He deserved it. I sighed and ran my hand through my hair. If I was going to be that hard on him, then I was going to have a long way to go. I sighed. Patience, I cautioned myself. Calmness. I needed to be fair in this. I wasn't trying to blame Kyoya-san for everything. I supposed that if I looked at him with harshness and got angry at him, it was a good idea to look at what I had done first. It was just as important for me to look back at what I had done, if I wanted this to work out.

Somehow, I figured that it was just going to be an admirable statement. All sentimental nonsense. It was worth a try, at the very least. I wanted this to work. I wanted to get along with my fiancé. I wanted the semblance of normal, happy life. I was hopeful to be friends with him, eventually. I wasn't looking for love. I wasn't hopeful for it either. Friendship would suit me perfectly fine. Love was something I dreamed of, once. I didn't care for it anymore. It seemed like something suited to dreams.

I knew that an arranged marriage was likely for me. And one of those things that don't usually come with the pre-packaged arrangement is love. I knew that love could grow from it, but it usually didn't start that way. I knew that much. I was prepared for that. Love was a concept beyond my expectations. I just wanted to be an equal. That came first, and whatever followed, followed.


	5. The Third Test

The Third Test

I left the school, leaving my friends behind with a wave. I entered the limousine and was driven to Ouran. Amamiya-san and Shirabuki-san had both been highly interested in hearing about Kyoya-san. Shizu-san listened, but he didn't have the same fascination with it. He seemed to get broody at the news –that's what I would have described him with if I had not known him as well as I did. Shizu-san was the kind of person who was always cheery and optimistic. If he fell from his joy, it was very short lasted. Therefore it was unlikely for him to have been depressed by whatever it was.

Amamiya-san was the quiet one of us. She was almost the newest one to start hanging out with us. She was the daughter of a highly rich business man who came from a long line of prestigious men. She was the youngest, and the only, girl in her family. Her mother doted upon her, and had convinced Amamiya-san's father to not force her into a marriage. Shirabuki-san was the oldest in her family. She had several younger brothers and a sister. Her family consisted of lawyers who were always at the top of their game. She was following her family's path, but she was doing it because her interests aligned well with that particular career path.

Shizu-san was the heir to the famous Takanari family. He was the only son and he had one older sister. His sister was a popular singer, while his mother had been a notable model while his father was a renowned actor. Shizu-san was already in their world. Singing wasn't something that he excelled at, and that kept his focus divided between schooling and acting. He was slowly gathering popularity as he appeared in more films and guest appeared on television.

Since I had started attending Raiden at the beginning of middle school, I had befriended Shirabuki-san and Shizu-san. The two of them had been friends before, and we had all molded together in a unique fit. Amamiya-san fit in with all of us as well –if she hadn't she wouldn't be with us. She added a certain amount of resourcefulness and creativity to the group. She was a fast thinker. Shizu-san brought charisma and mediator skills to the group. He was good with people. Shirabuki-san had her blunt honesty and direct personality. She was perceptive. And then there was me. I was never entirely certain about where I fitted in with everyone –I just knew that I fitted in with them.

Stopping at Ouran, I spotted Kyoya-san. He was standing there, looking very dispassionate. I exited the car and told my driver to return at the same time as he had yesterday. I approached my fiancé and at a short distance between us, I bowed to him. Rising, I noticed that he still held a palpable aura of nonchalance.

"I owe you an apology for yesterday," I said grudgingly, but honestly. "I had not thought through what the meaning of the Host Club is, and after I was at home yesterday, I realized that I had insulted you by accepting their flowers." I looked at him, trying to read his expression. "I'm sorry."

He acknowledged my apology with a curt nod of his head. I felt that I deserved more than that. But I supposed that it was up to him, for how he decided to forgive me. I froze realizing something for the first time. I had always taken it for granted, that I would be forgiven. Nothing that I had ever done had been big enough to warrant the chances of not receiving forgiveness. Looking at my fiancé, I realized that he might just decide to not forgive me. I suddenly felt small and insignificant. I had never thought of such a thing. I wondered if naivety was a worthy flaw or just a childish one.

He turned away and walked towards the school. I followed behind him, obedient and silent. I wasn't certain about whether or not I should intrude upon the fragile silence. It felt strange and stuffy to me. Then again I wasn't accustomed to awkward silences that lasted for a prolonged period of time. Short, temporary bursts were more usual. When we arrived at the staircase we had been at yesterday, I stopped. I watched him as he continued on for a few more steps. He turned back to look at me, impatience and intolerance marring his expression of indifference. I supposed that it was better than his nonchalance.

I looked at him. I didn't say anything. I didn't want to instigate the conversation between us. I didn't want to force him to talk to me. I wanted him to start the conversation this time. I wanted him to be the one to say something. I was aware once again that he could have easily walked away without looking back. But he didn't. Maybe he was just as aware of how likely this engagement was going to be as I was. I wondered if he was beginning to sense that our fates were going to be sealed.

Last night around dinner, my father had informed me of how the engagement was going. He said that it was progressing faster than he had anticipated and that in probably only a few days, or maybe even hours (he chuckled while saying that) the whole arrangement would be sorted. If that was the case, then the following day I would be receiving a ring from Kyoya-san and then the real engagement would start. Apparently, immediately following the completion of the engagement plans, the wedding one would begin. Both men wanted the companies to join, and they didn't want anything to prevent it. Not that there was much I could do to Kyoya-san that might force the relationship to be ruined. It worked the same for what he could do to me. He wasn't the kind to get violent –I had realized that yesterday when despite his fury he had still been gentle about taking the flowers from me.

"Do they know?" I asked, impatient to wait for him to say something.

"They do," he said.

"Did you tell them?" I inquired. It was possible for them to have figured it out on their own, but I wanted to hear that my fiancé had listened to what I said.

He shot me an exasperated glance, "How else would they have figured it out?" he rolled his eyes and continued walking. I followed again, smiling slightly in order to prevent a triumphant grin from spreading across my features.

He opened the third music room and I entered into an exotic paradise. I kept at my fiancé's side as we walked towards where he addressed his customers. I partly wished that I didn't have to come here with him. His customers all looked in my direction and I spotted a face that I had not seen before. She was looking at Kyoya-san with a passionate gaze and I suddenly felt wary. The other girls seated around had a far more complacent aura around them than this one. I eyed her as I sat down beside my fiancé. I glanced towards him, wondering at what his intentions were. There was no way that he was oblivious to the look in her eyes.

She beamed at Kyoya-san and I felt like an outcast. He smiled politely at them all and the girls began to talk to him. The distinct feeling of exclusion was caused by her. Her rust colored hair and black eyes certainly left an impression. She had a small narrow face, fine eyebrows and an athletic body. She didn't look flattering in the sunflower yellow dress of Ouran –her black eyes offered a direct contrast to the cheer of it. And her personality too. Although I had no idea what she was like, something about her was wrong and it was a palpable feeling.

"Kyoya-senpai," she said, her voice reminding me of an annoying bird. She cheeped at him –and I had to resist the urge to laugh at her. "Who is she? I haven't seen her before," she said, indicating me with a less than polite jerk in my direction.

His eyes flickered to me and then towards her, "Seiren-san, this is my fiancée, Ashia Shinishiki." He turned towards me, smiling placatingly.

I smiled at them, "A pleasure to meet you all," I said, inclining my head respectfully.

The girls all started to whisper then. I saw the dirty look that Seiren-kohai addressed me with. Her jealousy was palpable now. Not that it disturbed me. One of the girls looked towards Kyoya-san and spoke boldly. "Renge-san may dislike this."

"Well there's not much that she can do about it," retorted Seiren-kohai.

I was curious about who this Renge-san was but the answer was not going to be that important, I suspected. Kyoya-san regarded his customers again and they silenced themselves. "Renge-san has returned to France for a brief stay," he responded pleasantly. "She keeps in touch with the Host Club."

Seiren-san whispered with another of the girls, taking no care to prevent her cheeping voice from carrying. "More like she keeps in touch with Kyoya-senpai."

I glanced at him, and saw a flash of irritation across his features. As the conversing returned, one of Kyoya-san's customers rose to her feet and walked towards me. She sat beside me on the small loveseat. There were about seven or eight girls around Kyoya-san at the moment. She looked towards me cautiously.

"Do you mind? About Kyoya-sama and us?"

She made it sound as though they had a relationship. Stifling a smile I shook my head. "It's fine with me," I stated. "He enjoys hosting," I added.

She smiled radiantly, "Thank you Shinishiki-sama," she bowed deeply before rejoining the girls around my fiancé. I felt uncomfortable and bored sitting there beside him. I rose to my feet, politely excusing myself. If they were going to talk about me –which I knew they would –I would rather they do it when I was not present. I didn't need to be criticized to my face. Either way, when I was confronted to my face about their criticizes of me, I felt obliged to do something about it.

I walked towards Haruhi-kohai, seeking someone that I felt akin to. On my way there, Tamaki-san intercepted me. His customers were watching from a short distance and glaring daggers at me. I didn't need it from everyone here. Kyoya-san's customers were hard enough to deal with.

"I apologize for yesterday," he said sincerely, bowing. "I did not mean to offend."

At the serious expression on his face, I was almost unsure of how to react. "I was not offended, Tamaki-san," I said, trying to mollify him.

He perked up, looking at me with sheer hope on his face. "Really?"

"Really," I replied. "I should have said something yesterday," I added. I wanted to say that Kyoya-san should have too, but I felt that might not have gone over so well.

"Kyoya-senpai could have said something just as easily," Haruhi-san said, surprising me with her presence.

"He's not prone to doing that," I stated. I barely even knew him, and here I was trying to sound as if I knew more about him than I actually did. I glanced at Tamaki-san who was grinning from ear-to-ear. "Thank you for your apology though," I said to him, finding his happy aura irresistible as I smiled in return.

At the sound of his customers calling to him, Tamaki-san turned away from us with a brilliant grin and went towards them. "Coming my fair princesses!"

I turned to Haruhi-san and we walked over to talk for a short while. I glanced towards Kyoya-san to see him looking towards me, I beamed at him, and suddenly the strain of the fake smile I plastered across my face was palpable. I turned back to Haruhi-san, letting the smile fall from my face. I felt as though I was stretched too far today.

"What can you tell me about Seiren-kohai?" I asked, leaning against the wall with my eyes closed.

"She's not someone I would like to speak with," Haruhi-san said. "She's not particularly nice and her feelings for Kyoya-senpai extend beyond the usual feelings that customers hold for their host." I glanced at her to see that she was seriously considering my words. "I don't know much about her beyond that –she in a different class than the twins and I."

I nodded curtly. "She has issues with me. Can you tell me about Renge-san?"

Haruhi-san glanced uneasily towards me and I wondered what had caused it. Who was Renge-san? I looked towards my fiancé again to see him comfortable with his customers. Everyone looked at ease. Was I the only one who felt differently about all of this? Maybe it was because I was from a different school, or because the fact that my fiancé was a host. I didn't know.

"Everyone felt bad yesterday, when Kyoya-senpai said that you were engaged."

I glanced at her, "If I felt that I could, I would apologize to everyone," I stated, looking towards the gathered hosts. I sighed suddenly, "I don't think it's a good idea to speak with all of them today." I looked towards Kyoya-san again. "I'll talk to you after, Haruhi-san," I said, bowing.

I returned to my fiancé's side, feeling it appropriate. I didn't want to upset Kyoya-san again. I wanted this to work. But also I wasn't sure how to handle the other hosts at this moment, if they were all apologetic for what happened. I was also worried about Seiren-kohai. I felt my phone vibrate in my jacket pocket and I pulled it out to read the message. It was from Kurosu-san and she was waiting outside with my father for me. I glanced at Kyoya-san and was surprised to see that he too had his phone out.

I rose to my feet, slipping my phone back into its pocket. "Please excuse me," I said politely excusing myself again. But this time Kyoya-san too also left with me. I wasn't sure what to make of that, just yet.

"My father is here," I said, glancing at my fiancé.

"As is mine," he said blandly. "I believe that they have concluded the engagement contract."

I felt a shiver run over me. I knew that they were going to end, but I had not expected for it to be this soon. "I suppose that I will be seeing you again today," I said hesitantly.

"Yes," he said dryly.

"Kyoya-san," I said stopping before we left his school. He stopped walking to glance back at me. "If you are so averse to being engaged to me, then you can leave the engagement." I didn't want to marry him if he held no feelings towards me whatsoever. I knew that his family probably had something that was propelling him towards this marriage the same as I did. "I'm doing this only for the companies," I added, stopping to stand beside him. "I hope that one day you might regard me as being an equal."

I walked away then, towards my limousine. I saw Kurosu-san standing outside of it. Her caramel hair was braided back and she looked serious and professional. She spared me a quick smile and I entered the car without looking back at my fiancé. My father was seated in the back, his appearance the same as ever. He was wearing a suit which indicated that he had just come from work. He glanced at me, and I inclined my head respectfully to him as I sat in the opposite corner of the limousine. Kurosu-san sat at his side, looking stoic and professional.

The driver pulled out from the school and we were leaving it behind in the next moment. My father looked at me, and then to Kurosu-san. She nodded and I wondered what the silent exchange had been about. My father pulled out a newspaper and began to read it while Kurosu-san moved over to sit at my side. She fastened her seat belt and then grinned towards me, looking more like the amiable bodyguard she usually was.

"We are heading home so that you can change into something more suitable –then we are leaving for the Ootori's," Kurosu-san explained.

I stared for a moment. "The engagement is all planned out, then?"

"Kyoya Ootori needs to formally present the ring and you need to accept it in the same manner."

I nodded in understanding. It seemed like everything was going by extremely quickly. "Do you have any idea of what I should wear to this ceremony?"

"I do actually," she responded eagerly.


	6. Chapter Three

Chapter Three

I looked down at what Kurosu-san had chosen for me to wear and smoothed it down nervously. She had said that it was not necessarily a formal occasion, but I did need to appear my best. I was wearing what she had selected for me, and I felt uncomfortable. It was an occasion for cosmetics and I had applied them with painstaking precision. There was no time for me to make mistakes to redo. My hair had been brushed out again and was loosely tied back. My eyes were accented by the shadow and eyeliner that I had so carefully applied and my complexion held a slightly brighter tone to it.

I was wearing a dark purple t-shirt with a claret-red buttoned vest over it. Neither of the garments reached near my throat, and thus the small area was able to show off the simple bead necklace I wore. I wasn't trying to be extravagant, and Kurosu-san had insisted for me to wear it. The skirt I was wearing fell just short of reaching my knees, and it was a mauvish-crimson color like the buttons of the vest I was wearing. I had on long plum stockings and inch-and-a-half magenta heels that were supported by the small strap that was wrapped around my ankles. And the final touch was the hydrangea that my fiancé had given me –tied to my wrist like before.

Kurosu-san said that these purples all contained some red in them, but not enough to overwhelm those who looked at me. I reached back and untied my hair, letting it slip over my shoulders. It had an immediate effect on how I appeared. I went from being overly violet to accentuated. I stepped away from my vanity, surprised at the sudden change in my appearance. Kurosu-san nodded approving when I met her in the hallway. The colors were all complementary to my hair, and I was pleased with the overall effect that it had.

I joined my parents downstairs and we all headed to the limousine, bound for the Ootori's. Kurosu-san was the only one accompanying us. The hour and a half that we had spent preparing would have been more than enough for the Ootori's to be prepared as well. I felt nervous, and I looked over at my mother. She was wearing her dark hair in a firm braid with a black jacket, crimson turtleneck and dress pants. My father was wearing simple suit, nothing overly extravagant, but not quite casual.

We arrived at the Ootori's and were greeted by their servants. They led us to the living room where my fiancé's parents greeted us. Looking at them I realized that there was a good chance of them becoming my in-laws. It was a thought far from comforting. The three present people rose to their feet, and welcomed us warmly. My family and I sat on one couch, while my fiancé's family sat on the one opposite us. Looking at them it was interesting to see where Kyoya-san had come from.

His mother looked bored and far from being interested in what was going on while his father had on a nonchalant, business expression on his. Kyoya-san's mother looked at us, smiling. Her raven hair was long and fell unhindered around her waist. I had heard very little about her, but I believed that she had once been a model and singer. She had also dabbled in charity work as well as the stocks. And her experiments with those had gone better than expected. She had angular features, making her appear slightly elfin. Her twinkling blue eyes and ivory complexion made it easy to know why she had been a model and likely why she had been successful enough to afford to dabble in the stock exchange. She was wearing a blue blouse that complemented her eyes and black dress pants.

Kyoya-san's father had an unreadable expression, similar to his son's although many times more frigid than my fiancé's. He had a full head of black hair and it was neatly combed. He looked like a professional business man. His gray eyes were dark enough that they could almost be considered black. Like my father, he also wore a dark suit which did nothing to help the atmosphere. It felt like it was a funeral or something, rather than an engagement.

I looked to my fiancé, seated beside his mother. He appeared calm and mildly bored, but I knew that he was letting those emotions show through. I cast a furtive glance towards his father, wondering at whose parental effect had him showing a more concerned expression. It was clearly fake –it resounded to me that it was. But he did nothing about it. His hair was combed neatly as usual, arranged to his preference but his gray eyes were visible. He wore no glasses. It was strange seeing him without them and I wondered at why he had removed them for this occasion. He was wearing a simple gray t-shirt with a black jacket and dress pants.

Kurosu-san was standing behind the couch that my family was located on. The Ootori's also had a guard standing behind them. I hoped it was just a formality. My father was the first to break the silence that had settled, and he set some papers on the coffee table that divided us. Ootori-san did the same, but took my father's paper and my father did the same for him. The two men nodded satisfied with whatever contents that the papers had contained. My mother had an expression of patience while I couldn't help but notice my future-mother-in-law's impatient expression.

"Kyoya," said his father, his voice curt and distant like his expression. I felt intimidated by the man. He was beyond cold –apathetic seemed to be better to describe him but I was unwilling to label him with a description like that. I had to believe that he was caring, that he just showed it differently.

My mother directed me next, sending me towards the window of the living room. It was hard to pretend to be oblivious to their watchful eyes. Kyoya-san walked over next, stiffly. It reminded me of our first date three days ago. He stood across from me and held one hand out towards me, I was about to set my hand on his when my mother knocked my hand away and his mother knocked his hand from me as well. I looked over at him, shocked. I had no idea what was happening.

"Will you honor this arrangement?" his mother asked, her voice clipped and her words to the point.

"Yes," we said.

"Will you respect one another, whatever feelings you may now harbor?"

Three days was not long enough to even have the full grasp of someone's personality. I was doing this for the medical world. "Yes," I said, my words echoing his.

"Will you wear Kyoya's ring?" his mother asked me, brandishing a small velvet box from her pocket.

I nodded, feeling my throat suddenly tighten. I forced the word that they were waiting for me to say out. "Yes."

My mother was speaking to him, "Will you wear Ashia's ring?" She too had pulled out a blue box, and was holding it towards Kyoya-san.

"Yes," he replied his response faster than mine had been.

My mother handed the ring destined for Kyoya-san to me, and his mother handed the ring fated for me to her son. They stepped aside and we reached towards each other. At the same time, we slid the ring onto each other's fingers. I looked down at the ring, noticing it to be made of silver with a small diamond set in it. Kyoya-san's was of the same design as mine was. We turned towards our parents.

"When you two are formally married, the second piece of your ring will be presented," my mother explained, smiling warmly.

I glanced over at Kyoya-san, feeling strangely lost. Not much had changed, aside from the ring that adorned my left ring-finger. It was odd. I had never been one to wear jewelry often, and now I was going to be required to wear it daily. For the rest of my life. It wasn't a pleasing thought. I was seventeen and already engaged. And I would be married shortly, for the rest of my life. It was a strangely terrifying to me. I didn't like the prospect of it at all, but I knew that I was doing it for the world. With the combination of the Shinishiki and Ootori companies, medical mysteries would unravel and vaccines be made shortly thereafter.

My father spoke, and I turned towards him, "Let's give them a moment," he suggested, glancing to my fiancé's father for assurance.

Ootori-san rose and nodded his acquiescence with that idea, as he left the room. My father and the two women followed along with both families' bodyguards, leaving me alone with Kyoya-san. "You look nice, Ashia-san," he said, turning towards me, his eyes taking in the hydrangea on my wrist. He smiled a little at that.

I blushed slightly, and fought for composure. "Thank you Kyoya-san," I replied. I wasn't usually complemented on my appearance by anyone. The maids had little to do with my clothing decisions and even less with my cosmetic usage. It had been that way since I was at least five. And the men at Raiden Academy never spoke to me –not that I wanted or encouraged it. Shizu-san was the only male that I spoke to at school on a regular basis and he offered flattery only to Shirabuki-san.

He turned towards the large window, sighing silently. I walked over hesitantly to his side. I looked out at the bright courtyard. It was in good condition. He looked down at me, and I wondered how this marriage would go. "We're in this now," he said quietly. "I must say, to your comment that becoming my equal is not going to be possible for you."

I snorted, "If you think of it that way, then I will take you by surprise."

"You really believe that you can succeed?" he commented wryly.

I grinned up at him, "And it will be all the better if you choose to deny it." He rolled his eyes, not bothering to say anything to that. He looked back out the window again. "The day after tomorrow, I want you to meet my friends."

He didn't look at me, "And tomorrow will be the Host Club again?"

"Yes. I told Haruhi-kohai that I would speak to her then," I said.

He glanced at me then, smiling wryly. "When did you figure it out?"

"Before I set foot on Ouran soil," I responded with another cheeky grin towards him.

He just rolled his eyes again. "Ashia-san," he said, and the sudden intensity in his voice made me sober and look towards him. "You said that you were doing this only for the companies?"

I nodded, "The world needs it. If our companies work together, mysteries could be unraveled. It's better for everyone."

He regarded me, puzzlement clear on his face. "And you don't care if you suffer everyday for the rest of your life?"

"Not in the least," I replied steadily. I sighed immediately after, "I wish I could be selfish and say otherwise. I know that thousands of people matter more than me and I know that they need something to ease their pain and their suffering. They suffer and their families and friends feel the pain. People die. If I can do something to help that, then I will do my best."

"You know that there is no guarantee that anything will change when our companies merge?"

"They might," I insisted.

"And you're willing to give up love for a maybe?"

I looked at him then, my teal eyes meeting his gray ones. "Some things are more important than love," I stated. That brought up another question –did he believe in love?

I could see that evening was approaching from the outside. It was getting late. I wondered how long my family was planning on staying here. I turned to Kyoya-san to see that he was contemplating my words seriously. I wondered what he thought of my words. I meant them. Every last word. I knew how to put people before me, the only thing about that was that I didn't know how to put myself first. In seventeen years, I knew that sometimes putting yourself first was a lot easier for other people. It was easier that way.

I knew that I had a lot of things that other people didn't have. I knew that some people needed help. I was well aware that I could afford to help them. It was as simple as that for me. If someone needed help, I had no reason to deny them. There were limits, and precautions that I used. I didn't help people on the street –I didn't go near that area of town. I didn't help random strangers. I helped people that I knew. I helped others that I knew. I did my best to help out people.

Sometimes, putting me first would be nice. But I loved to help other people, and I knew that I would never stop doing it. I didn't like for others to suffer. I wanted to help and so I did. I made certain of that. I wasn't about to just walk away when I could help people. I knew that there were bad people and good people suffering alike. (I use those weak definitions only because some of them are condemned to die, and others wanted to die.) It wasn't right for them to suffer, for their families and friends to suffer what could be cured. With the merging of my company and the Ootori's, I was hopeful that some good might reach those who felt immune to all the pain that wounded them. If I could do something that good, then I could afford to suffer a little too.


	7. The Fourth Test

The Fourth Test

My friends surrounded me, the three of them watching me with awe and disbelief. "Just yesterday you told us about your arranged marriage –and now you're engaged to him?" demanded Amamiya-san.

I nodded, "Our parents want this marriage and the longer time in between each step in our relationship, the more likely it is that a reason for the end of the arrangement can be found."

"You don't actually like him," Shizu-san stated, his perceptive eyes watching me.

"Not really," I admitted. "By the way, tomorrow he's going to meet you guys. I asked him to," I added, in case any of them had been thinking of denying it.

Shirabuki-san laughed, "I think meeting this Kyoya Ootori will fun," she beamed at everyone. "I'm in."

Shizu-san glanced at me and shook his head, "You are stuck in this arrangement for the rest of your life." I agreed –I didn't need him to remind me of that fact. "I suppose that as we'll be friends for a while, that I ought to meet him."

I smiled gratefully at him before turning to Amamiya-san. "Since it's for you, Ashia-san," she said, smiling pleasantly.

As usual both Shirabuki-san and Shizu-san picked up her words. "What about us?"

She glanced at them, a teasing smile on her lips, "Only Ashia-san," she repeated.

I giggled as my friends set out to get to admit that she would do it for them too. Shirabuki-san and Shizu-san were both persistent enough that they were able to force Amamiya-san into admitting that she had been joking. I saw my limousine pull into the school and I waved to my friends before entering the car. I gave my driver the same instructions that he had been following for the past two days. As the car headed towards Ouran, I looked down at my hands. The small diamond glittered in the bright light, and I wondered at it. I had adjusted to the sensation of the ring resting against my skin, but it still seemed weird to be wearing it.

Not many people commented on my ring. My friends had noticed it immediately and I told them that I was really engaged to him. They seemed a little bothered by the speed and everything, but they also congratulated me. Whether or not I liked him, engagements were still deserving of congratulations. I felt that the engagement was bittersweet. I was happy to get married for the benefit of the world, but I was also displeased with the fact of how well I got along with Kyoya-san.

I didn't know what I was supposed to feel towards him just yet. I had only just met him. I felt my body tense. Three days was not long enough to know a person. Four days would make no difference to that, nor would five. It could be a week and still, I would have no idea what to make of my fiancé. I assumed the same was true for him, but I also suspected that he knew more about me than I him. I was willing to speak, to try to bridge the gap that was between us and because of that, often the conversations were about my interests. Sometimes he remarked on them, sometimes not.

It was hard to tell what his interests and beliefs were. I really wanted to know if he believed in love. It would most certainly change my opinion about him. His stubbornness and unwillingness would make more sense then. If he didn't want to get married to me, because he was hoping or thinking that his soul mate was out there, then I could easily forgive him. And I would try to distance myself from him as well. If he believed in love, then he was going to be crushed by this marriage. But I had no choice. I wasn't going to try and pull out of this arrangement because of him. There was a chance to help thousands of people. I didn't need to love him, or for him to love me. I just needed us to be able to work together afterwards. If we could do that, then maybe this whole engagement would be bearable.

The limousine stopped and I left to see my fiancé standing at the gate. He smiled towards me, and I returned the gesture with a small wave. My ring coruscated in the sunlight. We walked towards his school in silence. After we entered the building I mentioned to him about the plan with my friends.

"They agreed to meet you," I said, trying to be amiable.

"Where will we meet?"

"I was thinking that we could all go to a café –it's not far from my school. Walking distance," I added, trying to be more specific. "It's called the Green Gentlemen and I've heard that it's really good."

He nodded, "I'll meet you there after school tomorrow then."

He was impossible! Could he not socialize was he just choosing not to? "Have you heard of it?" I inquired.

"The café? No, I haven't."

"Do you like cafés?" I pressed.

"Not particularly."

"Do you mind going to the café?"

"No."

"And you don't mind meeting my friends?"

He glanced at me, exasperated and humored at the same time. "No," he replied simply. "Are you done with the twenty questions now?"

"Not quite," I said cheerily. "What's your favorite color?"

"Green."

"Do you like animals?" I asked, as it was the next question that came to my mind.

"Not really," his tone was becoming drier every answer.

"Favorite season?" I quizzed hopefully.

"Autumn," he retorted, stopping at the stairwell. He turned to face me, his gray eyes behind his glasses again. He looked normal this way to me. I was accustomed to seeing him this way and although he was just as handsome without his glasses, it was strange when he was without them.

"Favorite genre?" I asked, ignoring his obvious annoyance with my incessant questions.

"Documentaries."

I was silent for a moment. "Are you kidding?"

"Yes."

"Have you been honest with the other questions?"

"Mostly." His eyes were boring into my own now, and it was obvious just how irritated he was with me. I paused, looking at him. I wasn't sure if I wanted to press him much further. Certainly his friends did so. But I didn't know if it was considered appropriate for me to do it as well. I was hesitant to press him further, as I was unsure of his standing on the matter. "Are you done?"

"For now," I responded impertinently. "You dislike questions," I added.

"Sometimes," he said evasively. "Right now, yes. Twenty questions are a little childish."

I scoffed, "Not if it's the only way to get to know someone. You volunteer no information and that which I extract is never clearly stated as truth or lie."

"I find it better for two people to gradually acquaint with one another."

"I don't have that luxury," I snapped. "We'll be married shortly and I'd like to know you better before then."

"What does it matter what my personality is?" he retorted harshly. "You're doing this for the people who are suffering."

I stared at him, feeling hurt. "I want to get to know you." I wanted amity not enmity from this relationship. I wanted to get along with him.

"It shouldn't matter, should it, if all that matters is their suffering?" he pressed callously.

I bit my lower lip in anxiety. It was my nervous habit. "There is nothing wrong with us at the very least getting along cordially," I protested weakly.

It was his turn to scoff, "You admitted that all that matters to you is others. Well they, like you, matter nothing to me." He watched me, his expression unreadable again and his eyes full of scorn. "The value of this marriage is nothing. My father wishes it for the company, and my fiancée wishes it for the betterment of others. This is a worthless relationship."

I flinched at his words, the truth ringing in them. I didn't like it. "The _value_?" I snarled. "People have no value –lives have no value! That's what you think?" He shrugged indifferently. "Life doesn't need a value," I hissed. "Its _value_ is everywhere. A dying man has more understanding of that then you do!"

"That would be because he's dying," he pointed out wryly.

I stared at him, shocked into speechlessness. "You-!" with an angry huff I turned on my heel and left the school. As I stormed down the hallways, I noticed a sign for the women's washroom and I entered it. I moved my hand under the facet, triggering the motion sensor.

I washed my hands and stepped away from the sink. I took a few deep breaths. How was I supposed to react when he said things like that? I had never been in a life-and-death situation but I valued life. What was he trying to prove? I took another deep breath. I didn't understand him. I ran a hand down my face and regarded my reflection. I was getting married to a ruthless bastard! Did he even care about others? How was I supposed to react when he said that?

I paced across the smooth, tiled floor. Just what did he think he was doing? I heard the door open again and stepped away from the sinks. I would have to call my driver soon. I was not going to the Host Club today. What did he know about anything, anyways? I glanced behind me to see that it was Seiren-kohai who had entered the bathroom. She was standing there, with her arms cross and watching me with an expression of disgust.

"This bathroom is filthy," she exclaimed, taking a few steps towards me. I glanced around, finding the room in spotless condition. "I don't want to be in the presence of an escort," Seiren-kohai sneered.

An escort…? I stared at her with narrowed eyes. I held up my left hand, indicating the ring on it. "He's my fiancé," I growled. At this particular moment, I did not want him to be so and he likely didn't want me to be one.

Seiren-kohai's rusty hair fell around her neck and her narrow black eyes stared out towards me with a burning envy. She stepped towards me angrily, and I moved back, settling into a self-defensive position. I was already angry and she had offended me. I didn't need anything from her. She could keep her drama and her envy to herself. I was not someone to be jealous of. I didn't want to marry Kyoya-san! It wasn't my choice!

I knew that even had I said that, she would not believe me. The ring on my finger was too much for her to care about. I didn't care anyways, if I had said it and it had made her leave me alone. I wanted to vent my irritation on someone and I had a natural loathing towards this girl. I slid out of my defensive position, trying to calm down. I wasn't about to fight for this. It was too petty. It was not worth my time, or hers.

"Please, move aside Seiren-kohai," I said, forcing the polite, clipped words out. She was blocking the exit of the bathroom, making it necessary for me to ask her to move.

She raised a finely arched eyebrow at me, her lithe and athletic form making me wonder at what she did in her spare time. "You don't deserve Kyoya-senpai," she snarled. "Renge-sama was the only one worthy of him!"

I ducked as her fist flew towards me. What was going on? Why had this Renge been brought up yet again? "I don't know who you're talking about!" I snapped back, narrowly avoiding another punch.

"Renge Houshakuji has first claim on Kyoya-senpai. We all knew that." She attempted to kick me and I maneuvered around to avoid both her foot and the corner she was trying to block me into. I wanted to hit her back. "And here you are –stealing their love! You're nothing but a parasitic leech!"

Stealing their love? In my stunned confusion Seiren-kohai's fist collided with my cheek. I staggered backwards against a closed, empty, bathroom stall. My cheek was going to bruise because of this. I hated bruises. Her knee went towards my gut but I caught it in time. Another reason why my height was a sore spot. People always had to try to take advantage of it. "For a girl in a dress you don't act like much of a lady," I retorted, pushing her away from me.

I still didn't want to get into a fight at Ouran. I knew that there would be trouble to pay and seeing as how I was an outsider to the school, I would get punished. I wanted to fight her. I wanted to beat her. But I knew that the consequence would be worse than the small joy I could get from this. I meant to run to the door, but she got there before me. Her pale face was flushed red with fury, and her fist shot out towards me again. I blocked her punch and tried to sneak towards the door. She knew I was attempting to do and shifted rapidly, pulling her punch from me as her leg shot towards my knee and I was forced back. She fought decently, as did I, considering that both of our legs were hindered. Hers were more trapped than mine as I had a skirt whereas she was trapped in her dress.

"For an escort in a skirt, you certainly look short!" she shouted, blocking the door fully.

Short. Always the same insult. Unfortunately, rather than having become immune to it over the years, I was sensitive to it. I hated being called short more than anything. I gave up my argument about why to not get into a fight as I charged towards her. Some facial expressions are priceless –and hers was exactly that when I launched myself towards her. She seemed to have convinced herself that I was a pacifist. She was very wrong.


	8. Chapter Four

Chapter Four

I was standing in the living room of my house, waiting for my father. My mother had said that he would be the one to talk to me about what happened. I rubbed at my bruised cheek, feeling irritated. I should have controlled myself far better than I had. I usually did. I hadn't actually landed more than one blow on her before we were interrupted. It felt very unjust. Although to be fair, the principal of Ouran had been quite understanding about the whole thing. He hadn't banned me from the school like he could have and for that I was grateful. What I did not appreciate was the fact that my parents had been alerted to what had happened. Then again, I did understand that I was going to receive a punishment and that it was necessary for them to know what was going on.

I knew the instant that my father entered the house. The slamming of the door was more than enough forewarning to me. I bowed deeply as I waited for him to enter the room. I rose and started to greet him respectfully, "Otousan," I said.

His hand collided with my un-bruised cheek in an open slap. It stung, but it wasn't much compared to the bruise on my other cheek. He hadn't used his full strength or anything –the slap was restrained. I stared at him in bewilderment. I had never been hit before and certainly not by him. My mother usually took care of all discipline actions and those never had caused me physical injury. I had never done anything serious enough to warrant my father reprimanding me. And now I was glad for that.

"Worthless!" he shouted. "How _dare_ you?"

He didn't even ask me why I had done it. Not that I could have given a half-ways decent excuse for it. She called me short so I hit her. Ha. She was jealous of my engagement –nope. Suddenly I was relieved that he had not asked me why I had done it. I preferred to be punished for what I had done. I didn't need punishment for why I had done it as well. It really was pathetic, what I had done. To be honest, I really hit her because I didn't like her. She annoyed me.

"Did your fiancé have anything to do with this?" he raged. "If he did, I'll see that this engagement is over! Ootori-san will be hearing of this if that boy had anything to do with it!"

"No Otousan!" I shouted, moving in front of him, attempting to block his way to the phone. "Kyoya-san had nothing to do with it! Nothing Otousan!" I looked up at him pleadingly, desperate for him to believe. Kyoya-san had no physical involvement of any encouragement towards the fight but Seiren-kohai had attacked me because of her jealousy. There was no involvement from Kyoya-san.

He stared at me a moment, eyebrow raised, "I trust that the Ootori's will not end this arrangement either because of this fight." He regarded me coldly, "Fighting is not something you have done before, Ashia. I expect that it will not happen again and that you will make sure that your fiancé understands that."

"Yes Otousan," I said.

"Should you fight again, Ashia, I will personally end this arrangement. The merge is not so important if you are going to become a delinquent and destroy the family name." He glanced towards the kitchen where my mother was. She was watching what was transpiring with a slightly disapproving look on her face. "Those self-defense lessons were not a good idea."

"She attacked me first father," I interjected softly enough that he could pretend to not hear what I said if he wanted to. And he did. Not much of a surprise that. I rubbed my stinging cheek absently and headed back upstairs, aware that my punishment was clearly set out.

As I was about to enter my room, one of the maids called out to me. "Ashia-sama," she said, holding the phone towards me, "Kyoya-sama has called."

I lifted up the cordless receiver and put it to my ear as I entered my room. "Hello Kyoya-san," I said tentatively.

"I wanted to confirm the time that we're supposed to meet at the Green Gentleman café."

"As soon as school is out," I responded coolly. "My friends will join us shortly after." I paused, "Was that all?" I was curious to know if perhaps he had heard about the fight.

"Yes. I'll see you tomorrow." And he promptly hung up.

I stared at the receiver in my hand for a moment. Jerk. I went to the door and handed the receiver to the waiting maid. I didn't look at her as I closed the door and turned to my vanity. The bruise on my cheek would easily be concealed with cosmetics –thankfully. It had faded from being a rather purplish color to a yellow tone with only a tinge of purple. I rubbed the bruise lightly, finding the pain considerably lessened. I was grateful that I was not going to have to show up at school with the bruise.

I sighed again and set my head on my forearms. Why did I have to get into that fight? I really regretted it now. And tomorrow after school I would be seeing Kyoya-san again. I was still angry at him for what he had said. I couldn't understand why he had said it either. He was infuriating! I didn't know what I was supposed to do in order for him to open up with me. I wanted to get to know him –I wanted to be friends with him before we were married. But all that was going to happen, was him leading me around in a circle. I was tired of it. I wanted to try, but if he wasn't willing to do it then I wasn't about to do so either.

And I still had to figure out who this Renge Houshakuji was –no one seemed to want to mention her. I was not going to put faith into what an enemy said either. One of the Host Club members would have a better idea and they would be honest. If they lied anyways, I felt that it would be so that I wasn't hurt by what they said, rather than being lied to so that I was hurt. Was there even a difference between the two that mattered? I sighed again. I was too tired to be thinking in circles.

I moved over to my bed, pulling out my homework from my bag. I didn't know what I was going to do with Kyoya-san and my friends. I hoped that they could all get along. I wished that I could understand him. It would make things easier, if I knew why he did everything he was doing. A serious conversation would be nice. Even a light hearted one would be fine. I sighed. It might be easier to converse without him being side tracked by any customers. I paused at that moment, thinking of Shirabuki-san and Amamiya-san as I tried to visualize their reactions to Kyoya-san. Shirabuki-san would probably be awed by his good looks. Amamiya-san could probably hold her own for a while. And Shizu-san would naturally be able to converse with Kyoya-san. It might be interesting. I hadn't seen my fiancé interact with the Host Club members, but I would hopefully be able to understand him a little more after his interactions with my friends.

Or maybe I was just being too optimistic. It was entirely possible that I would only understand him less after seeing my friends and him talk. That was a strangely disconcerting thought. I shuddered and turned back to the homework that I had to do.


	9. The Fifth Test

The Fifth Test

I walked from school to the Green Gentleman café and was mildly impressed when I saw Kyoya-san already there. He was sitting at one of the larger tables, that could fit eight. I wondered if maybe he had gotten two tables pulled together as it was the only one that large. He was seated there comfortably, and glanced towards me. No sign of welcoming for his fiancée. I walked over towards him, wondering if he would say anything. I doubted that he would.

I sat across from him, unwilling to sit beside him. He looked at me, his gray eyes meeting mine. "I wanted to apologize for what I said yesterday," he stated sincerely. "I knew that it would offend you, yet I said it anyways. I'm sorry for insulting you like that."

And he was sincere. I think that hurt more than anything else. "Why did you say it?"

He shrugged, "It came to mind. I was curious to see how you would react."

I stared at him. "You were testing me." He didn't deny it. He was being honest when he nodded. I had expected him to say something else, to mislead me. But he didn't. He was telling the truth. He never did anything predictable. I sighed, slightly irritated but at the same time relieved. I didn't know what to think anymore.

"Your friends, if I'm not mistaken," he said, softly indicating with a jerk of his head for me to turn around. They were here early, but still here. All three of them. I nodded to my fiancé and rose to my feet, beckoning my three friends over.

Shirabuki-san was wearing her long blonde hair loose, letting it fall around her waist in partial curls. Her blue eyes took in my fiancé first of all, and they liked what they saw. I knew her too well to not see her obvious appraisal of him. I felt a small twinge of… something. She stiffened with guilt seconds later, and I knew that she had just reminded herself that he was my fiancé and that she couldn't think of him in such terms. It was an admirable struggle on her part.

Amamiya-san did nothing as overt as that. She smiled politely as she positioned herself to sit beside me. Shirabuki-san sat on my other side while Shizu-san sat beside my fiancé. I introduced them to each other, noticing Shirabuki-san's well controlled lingering gaze. She was good at stopping herself from being too obvious, but we'd still been friends for a long enough time that I caught some of them. Amamiya-san was uninterested in my fiancé's appearance –she engaged him in conversation almost immediately. Shizu-san had rolled his eyes to indicate his opinion but he contributed to the conversation hat was brewing. Oddly, the topic that they were discussing was about law.

Shirabuki-san was the one most suited to provide the intricate dealings of court. Amamiya-san already had a small understanding of it and Kyoya-san did too. Shizu-san was relatively uninterested in the topic, but he too had his opinion on it. I was able to speak my input too. When the topic switched to criminal justice, both Shizu-san and I started our own conversation about something closer to our interests than law and justice. We discussed a more mundane topic, which was about what food we would order if we were going to order. None of us were hungry, but we all had a beverage of some form nearby.

I was only half-listening to the conversation beside me, which was hard to ignore seeing as Kyoya-san was directly across from me, and Shizu-san sat beside him. Amamiya-san was sitting at the head of the table, while Shirabuki-san sat beside me. It was an interesting set-up for us all to be seated in. Either way, the conversations were all easily heard by everyone and sometimes people had to pause to reassemble their thoughts. But I clearly heard what Amamiya-san used as her example about rules. (They had somehow moved from discussing criminal justice to the school system).

"...t between both students, like in Ashia-san's case, should have been the same. It was not right in my opinion for Ashia-san to go without consequence for fighting." At that, I looked to Kyoya-san. I had not yet mentioned the fight. I hadn't exactly had time… "Not that I'm unhappy for Ashia-san," she added with a hasty glance towards me, "just for equality and everything."

"I agree," I said softly. "It really wasn't fair."

"It was too!" both Shirabuki-san and Shizu-san protested. He overrode her easily, and she let her voice fall silent. "That Seiren-san attacked you first –it was self-defense."

I scoffed, "Until I hit her."

"Not true," interjected Shirabuki-san quickly, as though afraid that Shizu-san would steal the conversation from her again. "She did insult you and she refused to let you pass. You had every right."

"Fighting should never be rewarded," Amamiya-san insisted.

I glanced at my fiancé to see him looking at me with narrowed eyes. He was deftly following the conversation. I felt guilty butterflies surge through my stomach. I should have told him first. I should have at least made sure that my friends didn't mention it when he was around, at the very least, if I truly hadn't intended too. I had meant too as it was my assigned punishment anyways and I had every intention of fulfilling it.

"It should be if someone attacks you," Shizu-san protested.

"The rule is that it's never appropriate or right to attack someone," Amamiya-san argued.

The two of them had different views and they tended to bicker frequently. It wasn't anything new. I felt the surge of guilt again and knew that fighting it would have done nothing to assuage it. I heard a cell phone sound, and Shirabuki-san answered it. She came back with it at her ear and waved to us, indicating it was her time to leave. Shortly after, when their squabble had ended Amamiya-san left. She had piano lessons to attend. And Shizu-san eventually left as well, leaving me and my fiancé there. I wasn't due to be picked up for another fifteen minutes –I had no idea when Kyoya-san was next to be picked up.

He looked at me, waiting patiently. I looked down at my folded hands, the ring again standing out to me. I wondered if a time would ever come when I accepted it and just forgot that I was wearing it. "After I left angry yesterday," I started, "I ran into Seiren-kohai. She insulted me in several different ways, and tried to attack me. I defended myself at first and refused to fight her. But her next insult got to me and I managed to hit her once before anyone came along."

"Jealous?" he guessed. I nodded. "Did she leave any physical damage?"

I nodded again and brushed my hand across my cheek, revealing the yellowed bruise. "Kyoya-san," I began hesitantly, "I will never get into another fight. This was a onetime only thing and I won't do it again."

"I would certainly hope that you'd do it again," he stated, mirth twinkling in his eyes. "If you didn't, you might end up dead. Both of our families have some pretty serious and dedicated enemies –I would hope that you would be willing to defend yourself."

I smiled bitterly, "I was reminded that fighting is not proper, and that the engagement could be cancelled if I repeated it."

"You must have learned self-defense for some purpose, correct? Use self-defense when its necessary and proper. Pointless fighting would be frowned upon."

I nodded, mutely agreeing with him. "For you Kyoya-san," I said softly.

He nodded curtly, just once, and I figured that it was as close as I was going to get to gratitude from him. "Thank you, Ashia-san."

I blinked, wonderingly. He was full of surprises. Maybe he had a better understanding of people and their behaviors. Looking at him, I pondered on whether I should just stop. I was trying to find a pattern to his behavior but he didn't have any obvious ones. Or maybe I just couldn't find them. I had no idea.

"Does Takanari-san always act as he did today?" inquired my fiancé.

I glanced at him, "Shizu-san has been like that since I first met him."

He nodded once, and I knew that there was something more that he had seen. I wondered what I had missed. "Otomiya-san and Shizuka-san seem to be good friends with you."

I giggled involuntarily, "Shirabuki-san only when she isn't fascinated by my fiancés good looks." At his look I was unable to resist adding, "Don't tell me you're vain."

He chuckled too, and seemed surprised by it, "That's Tamaki-san's area."

"The prince is vain?" I asked, referring to the type he was cast as in the Host Club. I had heard of them when I was discussing the club with Shirabuki-san at lunch. She had heard of the club and was envious of me for having met the hosts.

"Insufferably so."

I paused, considering about what my return to Ouran would be like. What all would it mean? Seiren-kohai was a problem for my return. My fiancé seemed to sense my hesitation with this topic. It was probably palpable, my desire to ask if he was going to do anything about Seiren-kohai. I didn't want to have to ask because I was afraid that his response might be one that he could do nothing with her. Seiren-kohai was his customer after all.

I summoned up the courage to ask though, as the awkwardness was lingering. I wanted nothing more than to get out my question and get an answer. I supposed the answer wasn't as important as learning to communicate with him was. "Are you going to do anything with Seiren-kohai?" I asked haltingly.

He nodded assuredly, "She will be prohibited from all Host Club activities."

"Isn't that… a little harsh?" All those girls were so happy in the Host Club. Was it right to take it away from someone?

He raised an eyebrow at me, "She both insulted and harmed my fiancée, and you think it too harsh for me to ban her?"

"No –not exactly," I protested, making an effort to communicate with him. "I just think that the Host Club makes all of them so happy-"

"I might as well reward her then," he interrupted. "If I let her stay, the girls would take it as an invite that you are not welcome," he explained. "You don't need that much hatred, Ashia-san. Nor any further violence."

I bobbed my head in agreement, "You're right Kyoya-san," I admitted. "Thank you." He smiled. I felt my phone vibrate and knew that our date was over. I looked at him, "Do you need a ride home, by any chance?"

He shook his head, "My ride has been waiting for a few moments. Speaking with you about how Seiren-kohai will be dealt with was more important." He rose to his feet as I did and we left the Green Gentleman.

Before we parted for our vehicles I called out to him, "Goodnight Kyoya-san, I'll see you tomorrow."

I didn't wait to hear if he responded, or see what his expression was. As I entered the limousine, where Kurosu-san was once again waiting for me I had a hopeful feeling in my gut. He didn't seem that bad after all. I felt that I had accomplished something. I was hopeful that I knew him better and that we had reached an understanding of some sort. Things had happened so differently than I expected.

Promising that I would never fight again when I didn't really mean it, and then to have permission granted back at me. It was up to Kyoya-san if his father heard it and how they would handle it. I was glad that he had no issues with me knowing self-defense. I was also happy that he understood why I had been forced to take lessons in it. I assumed that he knew basic self-defense too, as it would have been impractical if he hadn't. And odd too.

His apology about his words yesterday had successfully mollified me. Since he had revealed that he only wanted to test my reaction to it, I better understood his reasoning for it. He had easily found out what made me angry, and how I reacted to that. I wondered what else he had concluded from that test. I was again aware that he noticed twice as much as I did in seemingly insignificant details. With Shizu-san for instance, I was curious to know what he had discovered but at the same time I wasn't interested in it. And he was understanding about my friendship with him too, and I was grateful for that.

His punishment to Seiren-kohai seemed a little extreme to me, but he had a point. If he didn't then it would have only invited more trouble on myself. I wished that I had bothered to consider my words before protesting. But I supposed that learning to get rid of those limitations was going to be important. I immediately shied away from the direction that my thoughts were going in. Intimacy was not important at this point in time. It would come later.

I smiled, looking forward to seeing my fiancé for the first time since I had met him. I was curious to see if tomorrow might go differently too. I remembered then that I owed Haruhi-san an apology. I had meant to visit her yesterday but I had gotten angry at Kyoya-san and then I had gotten into the fight. She would probably be understanding and everything, but I still owed her an apology. Not only that, I would likely end up hearing apologies from the other hosts. I hadn't spoken to them since the flower incident so it was expected. It would be a fun day tomorrow –at least I hoped it would be. I would spend more time there tomorrow if I could so that I could talk to all of the hosts rather than only a few during the Host Club. Or maybe it would be better if I didn't show up until after. I would have to talk to Kyoya-san about that tomorrow.


	10. Chapter Five

Chapter Five

When I arrived home, I went to my father's study. He was free of work for which was either lucky or unlucky for me as I stepped towards him. I wasn't sure what to make of it either as I stood there. I wondered what he would say. I had to report to him about the follow-through of the consequence he had assigned me. Well, I didn't have to but it was expected of me. He glanced at me, and I sat down across from him. He raised his eyebrow, a silent questioning of my presence.

"I told Kyoya-san, Otousan," I said simply.

"What did he say?"

I paused, looking at him. He asked me therefore he wanted to know. But he was not going to like the answer that I was about to tell him. I took a deep breath steadying myself in preparation for any retaliation he might fire back at me. "Kyoya-san said that so long as I did not repeat pointless fighting, it was not a problem."

His eyes narrowed, as though he didn't believe me. As though I might have taken some pleasure in denying him his answer. Not likely. Not plausible for me either. I avoided lying about things. Besides if I had lied about what my fiancé said, I would have come up with something more creative or believable. Something that appealed to him. He was not impressed but he did not say anything to contradict what I had said. He turned back to his computer monitor and I left him to whatever he had been doing prior to my arrival.

I retreated to my room and decided to phone my fiancé. It was a rather spontaneous decision but I wanted to see if I could arrive after the Host Club activities had ended. I wasn't sure if I wanted to be present at Seiren's banishment from the club. I assumed that Kyoya-san would be doing it tomorrow during the club. I wasn't sure though. Yet another reason to phone him. I dialed the code in my electronic device that would summon one of the maids. There was one located in almost every room. A particular code would signal the guards and another would signal and emergency. There were a great many codes put in, but I had only ever bothered to learn those three. They were the most useful ones, at the very least.

The maid appeared at my door, and with a sleepy yawn I asked for the phone and my fiancé's number. She disappeared to do as I asked. I usually did things myself but I did not possess Kyoya-san's phone number. I usually memorized my friends' numbers, rather than look them up every time I wanted to phone them. The maid returned very promptly and handed me the phone with a happy smile. They liked to have things to do and I rarely asked for anything. I thanked her and put the cordless receiver to my ear after hitting the call button.

I hesitated as the phone rang. What if he didn't answer? I shook my head. If I was home, he would be home. I waited patiently and one of the Ootori servants answered the phone. I told her I was calling for Kyoya-san and there was a brief silence and I was in limbo for a few moments before another voice took the phone. It was distinctly masculine and it took me a short moment before recognizing it as my fiancé's. I had spoken to him on the phone yesterday but I had not paid any attention to what he sounded like. I had been too irritated to pay any attention to such a minute detail.

His voice sounded a little heavier and deeper, but there was nothing different excluding that. "Kyoya-san," I said warmly.

"Ashia-san?" he sounded mildly surprised. "We just spoke a few moments ago, was phoning necessary too?"

"No, I just missed you," I retorted with slight sarcasm. As there was a silence on the other end, I wondered if I had used enough stress in my tone to indicate my mockery. "Um, I'm phoning because I thought of something to ask you," I clarified honestly. Maybe he didn't understand sarcasm? I considered his personality and immediately discarded that thought. There was no way that he could have missed my sardonic tone.

"And that would be…?" he prompted.

"If I should come by after the Host Club."

"No," his answer was almost immediate.

I paused, biting my lip nervously. "Why?" It was rather strange to realize that I was making an attempt to communicate with him again. I wondered if I had been the one holding back during our previous conversations. I wasn't sure and I didn't have the luxury of time to focus on my thoughts when he spoke again.

"I would like my customers to know that you're supporting my decisions as well. They might take it to mean that you didn't want Seiren-kohai to be removed and then that would imply that it was fine if they attacked you," he stated clearly.

I sighed mutely, agreeing with him. Not that he had any idea that I was agreeing with him. I wasn't sure if that was a necessarily good thing or not as I felt obligated to make some sound of affirmation over the conversation. "I understand." I was beginning to feel a little silly, with how this was going. Again, another correction from him. I truly felt lesser than my fiancé and that being an equal to him would be a long ways in coming.

"Is that all?" the impatience was clear in his tone.

I felt small and insignificant. "Yes, Kyoya-san," I replied softly, weakly. Pathetic, I thought to myself. There was a hesitation between us, but I was tired (both physically and mentally) and I added into the receiver, "Thank you for your time, Kyoya-san. Sorry for disturbing you, goodnight and see you after school." I hung up before he could say anything.

I laid back on my bed with a loud sigh. Yesterday I was mad at him for hanging up without saying anything, and then I went ahead and did it to him. Well, fair was fair. I shook my head, knowing it unjust to even consider excusing my actions with that. It might have been fair but it was far from necessary. I just hadn't wanted to hear him say anything more, for fear of being lessened. Was I that much of a prideful creature, that I couldn't handle someone being better than me. He had already proven himself superior to me in every way and yet now I was choosing to let it bother me.

It should have been just as easy to block it out and deny it, if I had started to let it irk me. A frustrated groan escaped my lips this time, as I was aware that it wasn't that simple. I wished it was. There had to be something I could do to improve. Maybe if I thought about what I was going to say, or ask and considered the reactions to it. I was too accustomed to be free with my words. I was generally at ease with people and I was trying desperately to get his friendship. I was letting our developing friendship get in my way of objectivity.

If I could treat everything with an objective view then perhaps I would be able to understand him and be more of an equal. I wasn't accustomed to being reserved and holding things back. I wasn't secretive. I was an open, honest girl. I had been for seventeen years and changing into a reserved one was going to be hard. I knew cautions and I enforced them at appropriate times, but with my fiancé I was simply trying too hard for friendship. I was afraid that he might see me practicing being reserved as distancing myself from him. If he had just started to think that I was not keeping myself an arms-length from him, then my sudden silences and considerations might perturb him.

Another frustrated sigh escaped me. What was I supposed to do? I couldn't have everything. I suspected that the answer was simple but I wasn't fond of it. My musings were something that belonged only to me, and admitting to Kyoya-san that I was tired of being belittled by him was hard for me. I would have to tell him that I was practicing being reserved. If he asked why, I needed a reason ready to hand to him. I couldn't tell him that his simple clarity made me feel insignificant.

If I didn't want to jeopardize the recent advances in our companionship, then I was going to need to supply a good reason about my possibly distant behavior. I needed something to work with and I had no idea what I could say. I rolled over onto my stomach, inhaling the fresh scent of my recently made bed. How was it possible that I had no idea of what to tell him? There had to be millions of ideas that would work. But yet, all I could summon was a blank. Nothing came to mind.

Thinking hard for several minutes, I returned to lying on my spine. I supposed that I might be able to present my reserved behavior as being due to my parent's influence for desiring a more feminine aspect of me. I hoped that he would be able to believe that as it was the only thing I could come up with. And I was out of time for further deep ponderings. I had to do my homework, have dinner, shower and head for bed. I did little in-between those times. That left me maybe an hour of contemplation towards developing this idea. That was all that I had, though.


	11. The Sixth Test

The Sixth Test

I was sitting at my fiancés side when she showed up. I felt proud to see that my fist had left a deeper impression on her cheek than hers had on mine. Her bruise was just beginning to fade whereas mine was almost completely gone. I smirked, unable to avoid the feeling of superiority that overwhelmed me at that moment. I then forced my expression to cool as I glanced at Kyoya-san as he rose to his feet. He walked towards Seiren-kohai and everyone's attention as riveted on them. I hate to say that I feel I am a rather cruel person, as I did quite enjoy Seiren-kohai's sudden fear and realization. Kyoya-san looked at her and she politely greeted him.

He told her, in no uncertain terms that an insult to his fiancée left him with no choice but to ban her from the Host Club. He then addressed everyone in the room, reminding them of my presence and the reasoning behind it. He turned back to Seiren-kohai who was clearly trying to fight against his decision without creating a scene. The twins walked over to stand beside Kyoya-san and soon enough, the whole Host Club was standing behind him. Their silent approach and support was enough to cause her to burst out into tears and flee. I felt sad for her at the same time as I felt justified. Kyoya-san returned to my side and I reached over to grasp his hand. It was an awkward moment but it felt strangely right for the moment.

He had just helped me with his customers, and the least I could do was show some affection. I wasn't fond of it, and I knew that my face was hot. We didn't make eye contact, but his hand shifted slightly and I pulled away. It was a subtle effect and very few people noticed it. As much as I was bored by what transpired between Kyoya-san and his customers, I remained at his side for the duration of the event. I never once pulled myself away from him.

I wished that I could have spoken with Haruhi-san, but I remained with my fiancé. Oddly enough, I did it because I felt that it was what he wanted. I was doing it for him. I had complete freedom to leave and speak to any of the hosts. I remained at his side, though. I had decided that after the Host Club I would inform Kyoya-san that I was going to practice reserved behavior. I felt that the Host Club would easily be able to break me of learning that behavior. There were no doubts in my mind that this was going to be a challenge. There had to be something I could do and since this was all that I had come up with, it was all that I was going to do.

I wasn't going to try at this. No. I was going to succeed. I figured my odds of success were better if I thought of the situation in this manner. I was hopeful of that, at the very least. I wanted to do my best to become his equal. I knew that there was going to be a lot of learning ahead of me. And probably an insurmountable amount of slip-ups. But so long as I reached my goal, I would be happy. And even if the engagement fell through (for whatever reason) I would still have those skills. I wanted to improve. I was partial to that, rather worsening or remaining the same.

Change was a necessary balance, and to be balanced in this relationship, I needed to change. Becoming reserved, I feared, was just the first step. But even so, I would be willing to take the second step when it came towards me. Whether I saw it coming or not was irrelevant. Once I started this change, I could not reverse it. No matter how much I wanted to, for whatever reason, it was necessary. To hold back on what I said when in the presence of those I was accustomed to being around. I needed to think everything through, thoroughly and rapidly. I suspected that the speed would come later –I certainly hoped it would.

The Host Club ended and I said my farewells to the customers, as did my fiancé, and I felt again uncomfortable while doing so. It was slightly awkward on my part, knowing that these girls all had some semblance of crush on my fiancé. It made things rather odd, if I carefully considered and pursued the presented ideas of the topic. I preferred to avoid them, as it made accepting the situation easier for me. I inhaled lightly, once the girls had left and exhaled again, just as much. I glanced at Kyoya-san to see that he was watching me.

I had told my driver to pick me up a half hour later and not to worry if I was late. I had no idea how long the hosts stayed after they had done their events. I noticed the condition of the room, and wondered if they did any cleaning at all. Kyoya-san walked towards the others, who were all milling around Tamaki-san. I saw the twins, Honey-san and Mori-san glance towards me. I still had not accepted their apologies over the flowers yet. I winced internally –it was a priority and I supposed that I should have done something about sooner.

"Hello Ashia-san!" Tamaki-san greeted warmly.

I smiled, a little relieved by his interruption of the descending silence. "Hello again," I said, glancing at all of the hosts.

"You have a ring on now," Haruhi-san remarked. I hadn't realized that she was quite that perceptive. "Kyoya-senpai has said little about his."

I swallowed and almost glanced towards him. I stopped, trying to start my behavior ahead of my plan. "It's our engagement ring," I said softly. "The second part of the ring will be presented on our marriage date."

I glanced at him then, expecting to see a reaction of some form on his face. I saw nothing. I suspected that it would take me a while to see something more from him, than his bland, blank expression. I wondered if he wore it around me more often, or if it was how he was the majority of the time. That was a question more suited to nay of the Host Club members. It didn't matter who so much as likely any of them would know.

I looked around at the host members and saw a variant degree of surprise on all of their faces. Honey-san was the first to speak, "How long until the marriage?" his question, I felt, was directed to both me and Kyoya-san.

"We're not certain yet," he replied calmly, collectedly.

"Soon anyways," I interjected; wanting the hosts to be more prepared if they suddenly received a wedding invitation.

They nodded at this, understanding and accepting the information faster than the previous bit. Kyoya-san turned to me and then stepped away slowly, to pick up a clipboard. He began to scribble down rapidly, pausing occasionally to figure something out. I had no idea what he was doing –I glanced towards the twins who shrugged casually and responded with, "He usually does that."

I regarded Haruhi-kohai next, "He's doing the calculations for the Host Club's budget."

"Does he usually do that?" I asked, looking at Tamaki-san who was chasing after the twins. I hadn't quite heard what they had said to him. Something about Haruhi-kohai, if I was correct.

"Yes."

I frowned at this and directed my gaze towards Tamaki-san, and I was about to ask if that was something that the president should have been doing but I stopped in time before the whole question came out. I suspected it sounded a little garbled and I hoped she took for a sneeze or a cough. Unlikely, but I was hopeful of it.

"Tamaki-senpai can be a little…frivolous at times," Haruhi-kohai added after a few moments of silence between us. "Kyoya-senpai makes sure that the Host Club doesn't fall into bankruptcy. He does his best, but sometimes Tamaki-senpai manages to go over-budget."

"What happens then?" I inquired, honestly interested in the topic.

"Well Kyoya-senpai usually sells something or a challenge will come up that will generate enough profits that we're fine."

What kind of a man was my fiancé, exactly? "What does he sell?"

"Sometimes its pictures, sometimes film but our trash sells as well."

"Trash?" I questioned, puzzled by this.

"A glass we sipped from, a thrown-out water bottle. Things like that sell pretty well. For all of us."

I looked at my fiancé and knew that he would not have been the one who reclaimed those items to sell them. Nope. I could not see him being the one to do so. He might have hired someone, which I suspected was likely. I glanced towards the sudden commotion at the far end of the room where Tamaki-san had just caught the twins who were all lying in a tangled mess of limbs on the floor. I chuckled lightly and waved silently to Haruhi-kohai. I reached down and grasped the first hand and heard someone cry out. I gave it a small tug and heard one of the twins cry out. Their voices were indistinguishable to me at this time. I tugged again, a little more forcefully and Kaoru-san's head appeared to glare at me. With that, I quickly stepped back as they slowly grumbled and rose to their feet.

Kaoru-san rubbed his shoulder and Hikaru-san stepped in front of him protectively. It was almost like the uninjured twin expected that I was going to attack him. I apologized to them and went to turn away. I heard Kaoru-san call out and I turned towards him (the pain in his voice was the only reason why I was able to distinguish the two).

"Thanks for helping," he muttered grudgingly. Hikaru-san looked a little surprised by that, and he didn't step away from his twin.

"I'm sorry that it hurt you in the process," I replied sincerely.

"And I'm sorry about the flowers, earlier. I didn't know," he continued, his eyes not meeting mine at this comment.

"I know –it's alright had I cared I would have denied. I had the power to do so. Besides I could have just as easily told you as Kyoya-san could have."

Hikaru-san met my gaze, determined, "Then why didn't you?"

"I didn't think it was my place," I replied honestly, "as you are my fiancé's friend and not mine."

I didn't get a chance to observe Hikaru-san's reaction as Honey-san called me over and I went. I liked the boyish host. He was very endearing to me. As I approached where he and his cousin were standing, I noticed that his big brown eyes held tears in them and as I approached the two of them, I wondered if he was that upset because of the flower incident. Morinozuka-san was watching me as I approached and I wondered what was going through his mind, at the very least. He didn't look too concerned, whereas his cousin seemed to be highly bothered by something.

When I stood before Honey-san, he looked up at me with his big brown eyes, "Ashia-chan I'm so sorry! I never knew that you were engaged to Kyo-chan!"

I smiled and patted him on the head, wondering about his nickname for my fiancé. It was slightly unnerving to hear him referred to with a childish nickname, as he was a serious man. I wondered if he had ever been different, while growing up. "It's all right Honey-san," I said gently. "Kyoya-san or I should have told you beforehand," I glanced at Morinozuka-san as I said this, including him with my words.

"Thank you, Ashia-san," Morinozuka-san said in his deep voice.

Honey-san too beamed up at me, "You really mean it?" he asked and I nodded. "Thank you Ashia-chan!"

I smiled again, and realized that I had accepted all of the hosts apologies. I glanced towards the twins, wondering how they were and I saw them chasing Tamaki-san around again. Kaoru-san didn't show any signs of having been hurt, for which I was grateful. I wondered if maybe he had been faking it, for some reason or another. I turned to see my fiancé watching me, clipboard under his arm and glasses flashing. I bowed to the two seniors and said farewell to the others as I stopped at his side and we left the Host Club.

Strange that I had spent such a short time there. Looking out the window I noticed that I had spent an actual considerable amount of time there. I could see the sun was beginning to lower itself below the horizon. Evening would be coming soon. I glanced at Kyoya-san who was waiting patiently at the stairs. I walked towards him quickly and we descended the first several before I gently set my fingers on his shoulder to get his attention. It was quiet out here, and the softness of my movement seemed more appropriate. When he looked back, I returned my hand to his side as I began to tell him about being more reserved.

I told him that it was something that my parents had recommended. I didn't know if he believed me, as his expression was the same as ever. When I finished telling him the short lie, about my reserved behavior, he didn't provide me with an immediate answer. I felt anxiety suddenly plummet into my stomach as I waited for his response. He seemed to be considering it seriously for several minutes which only made me worry more. I didn't have a clear answer to a lie that I had told him, so that I could eventually become an equal with him.

He nodded abruptly, "Alright," he said, and took several steps onwards.

"Kyoya-san?" I called tentatively. He stopped, glancing back at me and I wondered if I ever tested his patience. He seemed more impatient than patient, to me at this moment. And others, if I thought of them. "Would you like me to come here for the Host Club or after the customers have left?"

"After," he replied almost instantly. "You didn't seem to have enjoyed sitting there and listening to the girls."

I frowned at that comment. It was hard to endure their constant flattery and demands for his attention. Was it really so bad that I had been unable to withstand it for long? It was his job, really. He did get paid for it but the Host Club never kept any of their income for personal expenditures. Their money went towards the next hosting activity that they performed. Kyoya-san made certain of that.

He walked with me down the stairs, and I was aware that it was more like he was leading. I let him stay ahead of me, aware that it was yet another example of the differences between us. I wanted to walk at his side, not trail behind him like a lost kitten. I wondered idly if I would ever stop noticing all the things that made me lesser than him. I didn't want to be tormented by the constant comparisons that I was going through. I should have been perfectly content to just view my fiancé as he was and myself as I was. But I couldn't. Something always jumped out at me and made me think of the differences in us. Even though it was only a few days ago, I was suddenly aware of why Kyoya-san had laughed at my determined response to become his equal. I was more aware of how great that chasm was now, than I was when I was in denial. I had to have been in denial to not notice the fact that the suspension bridge I had been about to cross was really fraying and that a single footstep on the wooden contraption would have broken it.

"I'll see you later, Kyoya-san," I said softly as I entered the waiting car. He closed the door behind me, and stepped back as I left. I felt strangely forlorn, as I watched through the tinted limousine window as he vanished from my sight. I sighed, and leaned my head against the window, wondering at everything.


	12. Chapter Six

Chapter Six

I woke up to the incessant vibration of my cell phone. It was seated on my bedside table and the echoing sound annoyed me enough to wake me from a very pleasant dream. I snatched it up in one swift move, despite the grogginess of my mind and looked at the display to see an unknown number was calling me. With a muffled groan I sat up, flipped the phone open and set it against my ear. A rowdy commotion greeted my ear and I pulled the phone back, glancing at the time shown in the top right of the screen. It was only a few minutes after nine in the morning. Who was phoning me? I tensed as I set it against my ear again –if it was a wrong number I was not going to be kind.

"Ashia-san!" said a perky voice that I couldn't quite identify at the moment.

"Who is this?" I asked, trying to disguise the impatience and annoyance in my voice.

"Tamaki-senpai you can't do that!" I heard Haruhi-san's voice in the background and sighed.

"How did you get my number?" I asked tersely. I was tired. I had been up late with thoughts of reserved behavior plaguing my mind.

"It was listed in Kyoya-san's phone," Tamaki-san replied cheerfully.

Did that really make him think that it was perfectly fine to call me? I rubbed my eyes, fighting back a yawn. "I suppose there's something you want?"

I realized as their response came, that I had not even asked how they had gotten a hold of my fiancé's phone. There was some noise of a squabble over the phone and I lay back against my pillows, waiting as calmly as I could. I yawned, and then another voice took over the phone. It was Haruhi-san, if I was not mistaken.

"The Host Club wants to go to the supermarket today, and they want me to take them. However, we are waiting for Honey-senpai and Mori-senpai to arrive –Honey-senpai has trouble getting up in the morning."

"And Kyoya-senpai doesn't," I heard one of the twins snicker.

"Tamaki-senpai and the others don't want to be the ones around when Kyoya-senpai does wake up. They say it would be better if you woke him up."

I stared flatly at my bedding. I sighed. "You're at his house?"

"Yes."

"Give me an hour," I replied shortly, before hanging up the phone.

I got out of bed, grabbed clean clothes and raced to the adjoining bathroom. I started a shower, throwing my clothes on the floor and out of the way of the shower. I raced back to my room, grabbed my brush and returned to the bathroom to set it on the sink before shedding my pajamas and stepping under the hot water. I felt awake almost instantly. I quickly washed, using my preferred lightly scented soaps. I didn't like strong smelling soaps –they bothered me.

I left the shower, turning it off and quickly changed into my clothes. I had chosen a tight green quarter-sleeve jacket with flowers embroidered in a cream color that matched the cream colored lining of the jacket. Under that, I had on a simple t-shirt which matched the jacket's lining. I was wearing chocolate pants with small vertical stripes along the outsides of my legs which were tucked into my soft tan boots.

I wasn't particularly fond of it, but this outfit had been the first thing to come to my hands. I quickly ran the brush through my hair before tossing all of it back into a ponytail. I jogged down the stairs two at a time before cutting into the kitchen. There was a bowl of fresh strawberries out on the counter and I scooped up a small handful before heading upstairs to my mother's room. I popped one of the cut pieces into my mouth as I opened her door.

My mother was an early riser like Kurosu-san and they usually spent the dawn practicing martial arts of some form or another. My mother liked to keep fit, as well as having knowledge of self-defense in case it was necessary. I usually trained with Kurosu-san in the evenings when I had completed my homework. I spotted her seated on the matted floor of her "study" where she practiced with Kurosu-san. Her guard was standing there, chuckling.

I waved to both of them, popping another sliced strawberry into my mouth. I quickly told them where I was bound and why. My mother granted me permission quickly and with a swift "thank you" I phoned the chauffer and waited. By the time he came by, I had finished my small breakfast and was ready to go. My hand was free of any stickiness as I had the time to wash it quickly before my driver came by. I had only brought my cell phone, and it was resting in my pocket. I told the driver to drop me off at the Ootori residence and that I would call him when I was ready to leave. I was a little puzzled as to why I had come when the hosts had called me, but I had come either way and I wasn't about to protest it.

The servants directed me upstairs, with cautionary words. I saw the host members all sitting in the living room. Honey-san and Morinozuka-san were both present, but the boyish host looked tired. I waved at them and continued towards my fiancés room. It was a strange feeling that struck me then, about the situation being inappropriate. The servant held the door open, and beckoned me in. As I was about to enter his room, the servant quickly mentioned that his master had a terrible temper and hated to be woken up when it was unnecessary.

I thanked him and entered my fiancé's room. The servant stood at the open door and I spotted my fiancé. He was lying on the bed, blankets covering him. His glasses were off, and I spotted them on his bedside table. I walked around and glanced back at the servant, feeling strangely nervous and apprehensive about the situation. The hosts wanted to go to the supermarket, and they needed their vice-president. Or at least wanted him, to make it an official outing. Yet they had called me in for this, which was exceptionally odd to me.

I set my hand on his shoulder and shook. There was no reaction. I shook harder, irritated and feeling a little confused about the situation. I felt him stir, but there was still no definite response of awakening. _Oh come on_, I thought, stubbornly shaking him again. He stirred again, and this time he suddenly shot up from the bed. I jumped back, startled and was glad that there was nothing behind me to impede the motion. I stared at him, and he glared back at me. He was kind of cute, like that. If I wasn't concerned about the rage burning in his eyes, I would have agreed fully with the previous statement. His usually precisely arranged hair was askew and his gray eyes were clearly revealed as they glared towards me.

"What are you doing here?" he demanded, arrogance clear in his tone.

"The hosts wanted me to wake you up," I responded evenly. "And considering that they woke me up for it, and I lack the luxury to return to sleep once awakened, I decided to agree."

It was true. My sleeping habits were terrible. Whatever time I went to sleep at, I could sleep until I was woken up and then my day began. I could not return to sleep. I wasn't sure why, I suspected it was because I just lacked something necessary for that. I didn't want to take sleeping pills to help me get to sleep as they would then hinder when I would have to wake up. I preferred to be able to wake up easily, even though I could not return to sleep. I could sometimes, but only in certain cases where specific things were met. My room had to be pitch black, it had to be an ungodly hour and I had both need and want to return to sleep. At nine o'clock in the morning however, it is neither an ungodly hour nor pitch black which left me with no choice but to rise.

"I don't care!" he shouted. "I was awake until late hours of the night, and yet here you are, for no reason, disturbing my slumber."

He seemed rather childish today. Or maybe he was always like that when he was tired. I managed to shrug and reply casually, "They want to go to the supermarket, Kyoya-san."

His expression darkened and his glower increased. I noticed the faint circles under his eyes and felt pity for him. "I will not go! Tell them that they can go on their own!"

I had to place my hand over my mouth to prevent him seeing me smiling. I pretended that I was coughing. He was so different, and whether that was because he was tired or for some other reason I was oblivious to, it still made me smile. He was angry, but it wasn't frightening. He had exercised his point to me that he had excellent control over his temper, and that was why it did not bother me in the slightest.

"Tell them yourself," I replied maturely. "They're downstairs."

"Send them up!" he shouted, and I would have gotten angry then if not for the fact that he directed the comment to the servant at the door.

The servant disappeared to leave me and my fiancé in a stare down. He was glaring darkly at me and I was meeting his gaze fearlessly. There was nothing scary about him. He was more intimidating when he wasn't tired and grumpy like he was now. I worried more about being equal with him then and how to stay on his good side when he was himself. A few moments later and the Host Club had filed into his room and were looking between me and him.

"Supermarket!" he exclaimed. "No way –go by yourselves. You're all old enough to be on your own!"

Tamaki-san was the one to protest, "But Kyoya-!"

At that point, my fiancé fell back against his blankets and pillows soundly asleep. It took me a minute before it hit me that he was really asleep. I burst out laughing, doubled over and made my way to lean against the wall. I knew that the hosts' attention was divided between my hysteria and their sleeping comrade. It was hard to get my laughter back under control but I somehow managed. I left the room without explaining anything as I waited in the living room to ascertain that I was under control. Haruhi-san and the two seniors joined me down there. I grinned at them, and noticed Honey-san's concerned look.

I smiled at him, "I'm alright Honey-san," I said.

"Does Kyo-chan not scare you?" he inquired peacefully.

"Not when he's sleepy," I replied honestly. I couldn't stifle the giggle that escaped my lips, "He's adorable then," I said.

Haruhi-san's eyes were wide, "How you see that as adorable… I will never understand."

It was simple, really. I was more concerned with his opinion when he was thinking rationally. His opinion of me was he was angry was already set and there was no concern then. It was mildly relaxing when he was angry, seeing as how I didn't have to worry about what he was thinking of at that point. I smiled, but didn't evaluate further. I didn't feel it was necessary. I saw Tamaki-san and the twins emerge from my fiancé's room. He was with them, as the prince was carrying him.

I frowned at this point, sudden understanding sinking into my gut. I was going to be leaving with the Host Club and the club was taking my exceptionally tired and grumpy fiancé with them. To them, this just had to be an adventure. I saw it differently. I saw it as them taking advantage of Kyoya-san's sleepy state. I supposed that they didn't often get that chance, but still.

Tamaki-san grinned broadly, "Supermarket!" he announced proudly.


	13. The Seventh Test

The Seventh Test

We were all crowded into one of the Shinishiki limousines, with my chauffer driving towards the supermarket. He had addressed a curious glance towards me when I had told him where the Host Club wanted to go. I didn't even try to explain their oddities. I was seated beside my sleeping fiancé, with Tamaki-san on his other side. Opposite me were Honey-san and his cousin with the twins seated across from each other beside Morinozuka-san and the prince. It was crowded but we all fit, which was extremely good. I was glad for that, if nothing else.

The car ride was slow, but we made it to one of the well-known supermarkets. I had never been intrigued by them. The servants managed all of the shopping and as a child, I had gone with some of them on a few occasions. It was nothing interesting or fascinating to me now, nor had it been then. It was good in the beginning for the first few times that I went, but afterwards it was not. Once I got bored, I stopped going. I supposed that it was good for me, looking at the twins and Tamaki-san who were all chanting eagerly for the supermarket. They were like children.

Honey-san was obviously looking forward to the trip, with a childish wonder that suited him. Morinozuka-san was just there, he didn't seem to care one way or the other. Haruhi-san looked like it was a normal occurrence for her, which it likely was. She was completely uninterested in this. Probably as much as I was, come to think of it. As the limousine pulled into the parking lot, I was surprised at how quaint it suddenly seemed to me. And I knew that we weren't even at a technical supermarket, as the hosts climbed out of the car (and carried my fiancé) I grinned at my driver. "Just couldn't do it, could you?"

He smiled, "Sorry, Ashia-sama, but I couldn't."

"It's alright," I responded, exiting the car.

He stopped me before I could leave the car completely, holding out a wallet to me. I accepted it, thanking him and placed it into the same pocket that was holding my cell phone. It was a good idea to have a wallet with me, in case there was something that I wanted to buy or if I needed money.

I caught up to Tamaki-san who was carrying my fiancé as we entered the mall. It was most certainly not a supermarket, but the hosts didn't know it. Haruhi-san was also pleased that we were in the mall. The Ouran students stopped to look at a map and in their energy they left Kyoya-san behind on a bench. Haruhi-san noticed and offered to say something, but I sent her ahead with the other hosts. Had she mentioned their abandonment of my fiancé, I was afraid that they would have found some way to take advantage of him and I didn't really want that.

I felt oddly protective of him, which I hadn't expected. I sat beside him on the bench, and wondered at how long it would be until he woke up. I relaxed against the seat, looking at him to ascertain that he wasn't going to fall but saw that he was leaning against the nearby wall. I smiled softly, unable to avoid noticing that his expression was charming. His coal black hair was arranged messily, disheveled from his sleep and his glasses were tucked into his jacket pocket. I wasn't certain, but I figured that Kyoya-san had slept in his clothes and that someone had just placed a clean jacket on him.

He was sleeping soundly, his eyes closed and his body completely relaxed. He looked sweet and human and far from intimidating. He had a peaceful, undisturbed expression on his face like everyone did when they were sleeping. But it was strange for me to see it on him. I had never expected to see my fiancé so calm and peaceful. I never thought about what he might look when he was sleeping. It was strange. He was tense and always alert when he was awake. He was always thinking, always planning when he was awake. It was so hard for me to adjust to seeing him with such a tranquil expression.

I stretched out my hand, caressing his hair lightly. It was soft and silky and my fingers easily slid past the strands without getting caught in any tangles. He stirred slightly, and I drew my hand away, afraid that he might wake up. I looked out towards the mall, discovering that the positioning we were in kept us hidden from most people's view. Besides that, it was still early enough that the mall wasn't bustling yet.

I waited expectantly and was rewarded. Kyoya-san twitched slightly and then with a small covered yawn, he sat up. I watched as he looked at his surroundings and his eyebrows furrowed in thought. He turned and caught sight of me, eyes widening in surprise. I smiled at him. His expression was satisfying for once, to see him as out of balance as he was. He had no idea where he was, why he was there or why I was there. I wondered if he recalled anything from earlier or if it was all a dream to him. I had never seen him appear as lost and confused as he was. It was, again, cute.

"Where are we?" he inquired.

"At the mall," I replied, "although Tamaki-san and the others were intending to arrive at a supermarket." I watched his expression closely, waiting to see if memory would dawn on him anytime soon.

"Then how did they arrive here?"

"My chauffer did not want to go to a supermarket. As he said, he just couldn't do it." I noticed him looking around his person and with a patient, inward sigh I said, "They're in your pocket."

He pulled out his glasses and set them on his eyes. He was becoming steady again. I was aware that I was going to miss that uncertain expression of his. I hoped to see it again. Heck, I hoped to be the one to cause it next time. He thanked me courteously. "What are we going to do, exactly?" he asked, covering another yawn.

"We could leave," I suggested. Sad to say, I was partial to that idea because I was still not happy over having been awoken so early. I was glad to have spent this time with him and seen him angry as well as sleeping. Kyoya-san was absolutely adorable when sleeping and it was a strange word to associate the serious man with, but it was fitting.

"And go where?"

I paused, considering, "You could go home and I could go home and spend the day doing whatever it is that we normally do."

He chuckled, "I'd rather get Tamaki-san back for this," he replied. He had a callous, wicked smile on his face and a vengeful gleam in his eyes.

"I'm in," I replied instantly.

"Do you know where they went?"

"I think Tamaki-san mentioned a pet shop on the third floor."

"That would be like him," my fiancé grumbled as he rose to his feet. He glanced back at me, holding out his hand and I accepted it. He pulled me to my feet easily and we made our way towards the escalator.

We headed towards the pet store eagerly. I wanted to get revenge on Tamaki-san for the same reason as Kyoya-san. He had woken me up when I had not been needed. I understood that enraged feeling as well as the sense of fun from this. It was a potential moment for me to better understand my fiancé. It was alright to sometimes let go of reservations and have fun –my fiancé was even doing it. I liked it anyways, and it was harmless. The Host Club had that air of joviality about it. Between the twins, Tamaki-san and Honey-senpai I felt that it was due to them, that the atmosphere was like that.

As we made our way towards the third floor, I kept close to my fiancé. I was aware yet again of the ring that adorned my finger. It was natural to wear it by this point, but it still felt strange to me when I thought of its placement as well as its meaning. I caught the glitter of Kyoya-san's diamond and knew that he too was wearing his ring. I wondered at just how accustomed he was to it. He seemed much more capable of taking things in stride than I was. I was a little envious of that, but I knew it was just a natural difference between us.

When we reached the pet store, I saw Tamaki-san talking with a girl. She had long caramel color hair that dusted her back and a large pink ribbon in her hair. She was wearing jeans and a white blouse with a black jacket over her shoulder. It was the first time I had ever been able to describe Kyoya-san as having an immediate reaction to someone. It wasn't exactly fear, or hesitation –I couldn't explain what it was. But it was there and highly evident. I wondered who she was, but I didn't dare leave my fiancé. Kyoya-san went the opposite direction of the pet store and ducked into the first shop that he came by, which happened to be an appliance store.

I didn't say anything, but he wandered through the store. I glanced out of the shop, noticing the caramel haired girl walking past. I wondered at her identity and turned towards my fiancé was observing a dishwasher. I knew that a smile was tugging on my lips as I approached him. It was unusual to see him react so immediately to someone's presence. His black jacket didn't stand out but the crimson t-shirt beneath it did. He was wearing plain black trousers which added to his appearance and I found that it also blended with the appliances he was looking at. Black dishwashers were around him as were a few stainless steel ones and a few others. I didn't know much about them, and I wasn't interested in them either.

"She walked past the store," I said casually, watching his reaction closely. His shoulders sagged slightly, and he glanced towards with a hint of hesitation. "Why did you avoid her like that?" I asked, still regarding him closely.

"She has some misunderstandings about several things," he replied easily. "I have yet time to reconcile with her, or to even attempt to."

I considered before I spoke, about asking my question. "What misunderstandings does she possess?"

I didn't know that my answer was about to come, but from a different source. As I stood there, letting Kyoya-san find a proper way to answer me, I heard his name called from a high, shrill and girly voice. He winced minutely, and if I hadn't been observing him closely I would have missed it. He shifted his glasses and straightened as the caramel haired girl charged towards him. I stepped back for fear of being run down in her excitement to reach my fiancé. She threw her arms around him, squealing something incoherent. I looked up at my fiancé, trying to read his expression.

She pulled away from chattering eagerly about something. I wasn't paying much attention as I stared at her with obvious vexation and confusion. She was holding Kyoya-san's hand between hers and was completely ignoring me. She seemed oblivious to the ring that adorned his left hand and was between hers. I waited, expecting my fiancé to explain or even chase the girl from him. He had a strained patient expression on his face, and with a loud clearing of my throat, the girl turned to look at me for the first time.

"That cough sounded nasty!" she gasped, digging through her small purse. "Here," she said, shoving a packet of cough relievers at me. In an automatic motion I caught the packet, staring at her in outrage. "Kyoya!" she said, turning back to my fiancé. I felt shock ripple through my core –she was calling my fiancé by first name. I forced myself to be calm –they could be childhood friends, or even family. Looking at the wide differences in their appearance, I changed my last decision. They might be extended family. That would explain it as well. "I'm back from France and I'm so happy to see you again."

"Renge-san," he said tersely.

"Oh Kyoya my father said that the marriage proposition will reach your family by sometime tomorrow afternoon!" she paused at this glancing around. "I was hoping to see Haruhi here –explain that my father wants us to be married."

Choking in unexplained rage I let the packet of cough drops she had given me fall to the floor. With a vengeful mutter, I brought my heel down on them and heard them break with a satisfying crunch. I directed a glare between the two of them and turned abruptly to storm out of the store. I caught sight of the Host Club almost immediately and ducked behind a plant in hope that they wouldn't notice me. I was certain that Morinozuka-san did see me –and I cursed his height. It's hard to hide from tall people who can see you from a great distance.

As the hosts continued on their way, he walked over to stand by the plant I was hiding behind. He looked down at me, black eyes curious. I looked up at him and sighed. I told him that I was fine, without meaning it or being honest. I was too angry. If I thought about that girl and how she so easily ignored me to talk to my fiancé, it only irritated me. Maybe I was jealous, I admitted to myself darkly, but it was unimportant. My reserved behavior had gone out the window with that obvious show of irritation and ungratefulness towards the girl. I lacked patience to deal with someone who was discussing marrying Kyoya-san when his fiancée stood beside him.

I told Morinozuka-san that I would be fine and to return to the others. I indicated my cell phone and with a sad smile I continued on my way. I went to the food court, not feeling inclined to leave the mall at this point. I ordered a small salad for appearance's sake, even though I wasn't particularly hungry. I felt my phone vibrate and I pulled it out to see a message from Tamaki-san again, saying that they had found Kyoya-san and were wondering where I was. I didn't reply to the message, shoving my phone back into my pocket as I nibbled at my salad.

When I heard my name called, I looked around, trying to identify the source. When I saw who it was, I greeted him with a warm smile.


	14. Chapter Seven

Chapter Seven

He smiled pleasantly at me, and it was hard to not notice his pearly white teeth. His dark brown hair falling around his chin in a messy order and his twinkling blue eyes revealed. With an over extravagant, mocking bow he greeted me before taking a seat across from me. I knew him from Raiden Academy –we weren't friends or anything, more like acquaintances. He was a friend of Shizu-san though, and it wasn't too great of a surprise if he joined us at lunch. I hadn't seen him in a while though, but he looked the same as ever. Shirabuki-san was fond of talking about this handsome lad, whenever an opportunity arose.

He was handsome, with his sun bronzed complexion and mischievous blue eyes. He was a lively person, usually fidgety as he always liked to be doing things. His russet hair held a faint coppery gleam to it, almost making him appear slightly exotic. He was popular with the girls at school. His muscular build from being captain of the kendo team added to his popularity as well. Kain-sama was also a year older than I, and apparently (according to Shirabuki-san) that added to make him more desirable.

"Here alone, Ashia-san?" he inquired, glancing around the food court.

"Yes," I responded. At the moment I was –I didn't expect that any of the others would be coming by anytime soon. I certainly hoped that they wouldn't, at any rate. I wanted to be separate from Ouran for the rest of the day. I would be ecstatic so long as I didn't see another of their goofy grins or hear their obnoxious voices. I was tired of them.

"I am as well –I would have expected that either Amamiya-san or Shirabuki-san would have been here with you. It's unlike Shizu-san too if I'm not mistaken."

I shrugged, eating my salad. "I was here with my fiancé's friends," I replied honestly once I had swallowed.

He frowned, "Did they ditch you?"

I chuckled, "I left them," I replied smiling.

"Were they not to your liking for companionship?" he asked, his tone insinuating something completely different. It was a smooth and suave tone that alerted me to what his hidden meaning had to be. I interpreted his meaning to really be him asking if his companionship was more preferable than my fiancé's friends had been.

"They're my fiancé's friends," I replied carefully, "and I've known you longer than I have them."

He laughed quietly, a rich and vibrant sounding chuckle, "I am that wonderful," he said, most likely interpreting my words to have meant that I did prefer his company which I had been trying to only imply enough that it was missed by him. "Say, once you've finished eating why don't we go and do something?" I flashed him an irritated grimace. I was here with my fiancé –in a manner of speaking. "Nothing couple-like," he protested quickly, "just something friends can do. That's alright isn't it?"

Most people at Raiden knew of my engagement to Kyoya Ootori, and since Kain-sama was often at the center of many cliques it was not surprising that he knew of it. I nodded grudgingly despite the fact that I only wanted to go home. I was feeling a little lonely and abandoned after having been so bluntly ignored by my fiancé and that other girl. I didn't need his full attention. But I did need to be acknowledged and mentioned when I was present. If he was going to be chirped at by another little birdie head-over-heels in love with him, and not mention me, then I would not be pleasant to him either. I wasn't about to cheat on him, or do something underhanded to get him back. It didn't help that I suspected he would apologize, and once he did that everything was supposed to be fine. It wouldn't erase that he had neglected to introduce me as his fiancée. It was proper and I was expectant of it especially when someone girl came up to him and started flirting with him.

I made a quick arrangement with Kain-sama for us to head over to the nearby park once I had finished eating. It was only a small salad and I wasn't really hungry, so we left fairly swiftly. Kain-sama was about the same size as the twins, nearly twenty centimeters or so taller than me. He walked purposefully, and for every step he took I had to take about two to match with him. I hated being short. As we left the mall, I turned my phone back on as I was expecting to leave after a short walk in the park. As keeping up with Kain-sama was rather difficult with my short steps, I expected that the walk would be even shorter. Three vibrations went off in my pocket and with an irritated groan I looked at the messages quickly.

I had received the hosts' numbers during the limousine ride because I had not wanted to receive any more surprising calls that worried me about being a wrong number. I hated wrong numbers –they severely aggravated me. I saw that the messages were from Honey-senpai, Tamaki-san and Morinozuka-senpai. With a frown I glanced through them quickly. Morinozuka-senpai's message mentioned that they were leaving the mall. Tamaki-san's message remarked that they were thinking of leaving while Honey-senpai's message highlighted the mysterious absence of Kyoya-san.

I snapped my phone closed and returned it to my pocket. The messages were unimportant as they were all over fifteen minutes old. The order in which I read them was from recent to oldest, so I placed the greatest faith in Morinozuka-senpai's message about them leaving. I was still tagging behind Kain-sama as we neared the park. As we approached it, I briefly wondered about what I had last heard about his family.

The Kain family was involved in fine dining, and one of their finest restaurants had just closed down. It was about a week and a half ago, I think, that the news traveled around the school. Some big shot from a rich company had been eating at their restaurant and he had supposedly seen a rodent or insect of some kind and reported them. It turned out that the restaurant had actually been infested by the pests and the Kain family had lost a large sum of money from that. Kain-sama had still been the same, but I guess they had gone through removing the pests which had cost nearly a fortune not to mention the customers that had vowed to never return. The restaurant was working again, after having new management hired and an inspector coming by monthly.

Kain-sama glanced at me, making sure that I was keeping up and his blue eyes twinkled as usual. As we entered the park which was only two blocks or so from the mall, I stopped to look around at the scenery. It was a refreshing sight. I didn't usually visit parks, but when I did I could always appreciate the quaint woods. It was a tranquil atmosphere and I liked it.

I heard a car slam onto its brakes and I looked around abruptly. I seemed to have lost Kain-sama as I didn't see him anywhere in my vicinity. I wandered a little, around the aromatic woodland, looking for some sign of my guide. I hadn't meant to separate myself from him. I hoped that he didn't feel that I had intentionally lagged behind him. I would apologize to him when I saw him next, I decided, tired of waiting and just wanting to get home. I pulled out my phone at the exact moment that it happened to vibrate. It caught me by surprise that I dropped it. I bent down and lifted it up, flipping it open as I rose to my feet. The message on my screen as from an unknown number, and when I saw its contents I looked up with wide eyes.

A damp cloth was placed over my mouth, arms wrapped around mine to keep my torso still as I struggled valiantly against the sweet-smelling anesthetic that I was being forced to inhale. My eyes went to the message on my cell phone screen, tears squeezing out from their corners as I slowly lost my grasp on consciousness. Twinkling blue eyes danced around me, and a harsh pair of beady black eyes that I loathed glared down at me. The message on my screen dimmed, but not before I had memorized its contents.

_Be on guard. I just received a message that my family has received a threat. _

_K. Ootori._


	15. The Eighth Test

The Eighth Test

I blinked several times, trying to clear my vision of sleep. I felt groggy and disgusting. As I slowly slid into a more conscious state, I became aware that my arms were tied above my head to something behind me and my legs were bound apart from each other. I looked down, moving my body slightly to realize that I was seated on a chair. My arms were bound to something behind me that no matter how I twisted I couldn't quite see as my arms were in an uncomfortable position and twisting only made them hurt more.

I knew that Kain-sama had something to do with this whole situation and that the threat had likely come from him. I wondered who the other person was. I knew only one person with green eyes and I didn't want to admit that it might have been him who was also a part of this whole situation. I suspected that Kain-sama was acting like this because of the effect on his family's company but neither I nor Kyoya-san had been involved in that. Had we, I would have heard of it. The discussions for our arranged marriage had been going for several months and I was exceptionally attuned to any news related to the Ootori family. This would have been related with the media, had the Ootori's had anything to do with the effect on the Kain family.

I strained, trying to hear anything that was being spoken. I was in a warehouse of some sort, with several crates surrounding me. As I listened closely, straining my ears in hope of hearing someone saying something I picked up on it. At first it was only an incoherent sound but it grew closer to me and I was able to hear nearly every word with the approaching proximity of the speaker. I recognized his voice, and bit my lip to hide my displeasure with my gradual acceptance of who was working with Kain-sama.

"…ant her back you'd better meet my demands!" he was saying. There was a pause. "Ootori-san you had better follow those orders exactly if you want her back!" Again, another pause. "It doesn't matter! Just do it!" Pause. An extended amount of silence, as I waited anxiously to hear the next words spoken. I was shocked when I saw them round the corner.

Kain-sama was standing beside her and she looked considerably different. Her once long rusty colored hair had been chopped off to rest just below her chin. Seiren-kohai's black eyes glared in triumph as she waved my phone before me. The screen as still glowing and it showed that Kyoya-san was on the other end. She set my phone back to her ear.

"Oh you want to talk to her?" she smirked at me, "Here she is," and she placed the phone to my ear.

"Ashia-san?" he sounded concerned and a more than a little scared.

"Kyoya-san," I replied, grateful to hear his voice. "What's going on?"

"I don't know," he said and I heard the stress in his voice and his displeasure at sharing that fact with me. "How are you?"

I looked up at Seiren-san, past her and towards Kain-sama, "I'm scared," I replied my voice breaking.

"But you're alright?" he sounded desperate to have that much knowledge.

I nodded mutely and forced the words from my tight throat, "Yes."

Seiren-san took the phone from me at that point, "Follow those orders Kyoya-san and you will see her alive, if not, you won't." A brief pause, "Will she come back healthy? I suppose that depends on how much you and she annoy me." With that, she closed my phone and hung up on my fiancé. "Thanks so much for letting me borrow your phone," she taunted, shoving it into her pocket.

"Why am I here?" I demanded tersely, looking between the two of them. "What do you want?"

Seiren-kohai glared down at me and strode over, "I don't much care for your tone," she snarled. She looked down at me and I resisted the urge to cower from her. I didn't care –she had said that she wouldn't kill me. So long as Kyoya-san did what he had been told to do. Whatever that meant, exactly.

I turned to Kain-sama, hopeful to receive an answer from him. He shrugged easily, "We're cousins, Ashia-san," he stated. "And she nearly got expelled from Ouran because of you. I agreed to help for the fun of it." He grinned suddenly, "I'm looking forward to this challenge with Ootori-san."

I wiggled in my bonds, "You can't!" I protested loudly.

Seiren-kohai went to slam her fist into my stomach but I managed to block it with my knees. She brought her other hand against the side of my head, disorienting me for a moment. She smirked, "I can do whatever I want, Ashia-san. There are no rules here."

"You want assault charges with the kidnapping ones?!" I snarled.

It was as though her smirk was permanently attached to her face. I was beyond irritated with it. "If Kyoya-senpai doesn't want Haruhi-san exposed then he'll press his case easily. He wouldn't dare charge me if he wants his secrets kept."

I looked at her dubiously, "What other secret could you possibly have on him?"

She grinned widely, "The fact that Renge-san has returned should reveal everything."

I highly doubted that anything could interfere with the marriage arrangement between me and Kyoya-san. Our whole arrangement was nearly finalized. The chances of it not working out were slim to none. "I don't see how."

Seiren-kohai laughed and turned away to leave, pausing to glance back at me. "You will when you hear what demands we left Kyoya-san."

I struggled against my bonds, "What did you demand?!" I shouted as she made her way out.

Kain-sama met my gaze, a smug smile on his face. He tipped his hand to me, as though he were wearing a hat, in a mocking and insulting gesture before leaving. I sat there mutely, staring ahead. I had no idea of how long I was going to be here. I didn't know what they wanted. What had they set up for Kyoya-san to do? I desperately hoped that it was nothing that would ruin him. Besides, he had to have some idea that no matter what happened, that I would never be killed. There was no way that a sixteen year old could possibly kill me.

Then again, sixteen year olds had killed before. And besides that, I didn't doubt that either she or Kain-sama could hire someone to do it and therefore avoid having blood on their hands. I shuddered at that thought and then winced. It was painful. I bowed my head, closing my heavy eyes. I wondered if the drug had completely worn off yet. I suspected not quite. I was too worried about everything and my heart was beating rapidly in fear now that I had thought of the two people before me as being potential murderers. My life was on the line and I didn't even know why. It disturbed me. I wasn't sure what exactly they expected of me. I didn't know what everyone wanted and I certainly couldn't give them everything that they wanted either.

I wished that there was something I could do to change this fact. I didn't understand it. I didn't know what I was wanted for. I didn't know what they were planning for my fiancé. I let my head droop against my chest. What was going to happen to me? I didn't want to die. I didn't want to be hurt. But I was here and I had to endure whatever happened to me. I wanted out of here. And while I was here, I was going to think of my captors as being insane. What kind of a twisted teenager kidnapped another? Even though she was jealous this was a little extreme. More than a little, actually.

Somehow I managed to drift back into unconsciousness. I suspected that the chloroform they had used had been a major cause of it. When I woke up next, I was still in the same position but this time Seiren-san was standing before me. She sneered and held the phone towards me. Again it was my fiancé. I greeted him, but this time shortly after I had finished saying "hello" I was hit across the face and I cried out because of the abruptness of it and the phone was taken away before I could explain anything to my concerned fiancé. Seiren-san just told him to follow her orders and that it would be fine.

I felt lost and confused and I hated that feeling more than anything. Every so often, Kain-sama presented me with water and food. The position I was in had no windows near it and the crates obliterated all signs of shadows. I was unable to identify the time of day or how long anything was. I was disoriented for the most part and it didn't help that about a quarter of the time that Seiren-san showed up, she decided to hit me. However long I had been here, things were becoming a rather large blur. I slept whenever I felt like it, whenever I was bored.

I wished that this warehouse did not have a global positioning blocker as it did. I knew it did as it was the only rational explanation about why no one had come to save me yet. Some warehouses did, usually when they were used for storing highly sensitive things or illegal goods. They were black market goods, the blockers. It hindered police efforts to rescue or find people and therefore it was a black market good.

When I was released from my bonds and led out by Kain-sama it all felt like a dream. The bright light from the setting sun burned my eyes for a few moments, temporarily blinding me yet I still stumbled after Kain-sama. I heard voices clambering for me, but I couldn't differentiate them and the light was too strong for me to make out anything specific. I was shoved by someone and managed to stumble across in the direction I had been pushed.

"Thank you for participating in this Kyoya-senpai," I heard Seiren-san chirp.

I felt arms surrounding my shoulders, pulling me closer. I remained tense, uncertain of who was embracing me. Suddenly, I realized that it didn't matter. I was free from my captors and whoever was holding me wasn't about to hurt me. Tears suddenly sprang from my eyes in relief as I grasped tighter against the firm, lean muscled body I was pressed against. The voices from the people surrounding me were just a faint noise of some sort. I felt his arms go around me too, embracing me tightly.

It wasn't long after that, but I was separated from my embracer and set into a car. It was darker inside and I was able to see better. Kyoya-san sat beside me, my hand holding onto his desperately. There was only the driver in the small vehicle, besides that we were quite alone.

"What did she make you agree to?" I asked softly, looking over at him.

He met my gaze and sighed, "Nothing too important, Ashia-san," he replied softly. As I was about to protest he overrode me easily, "I will tell you when you're rested."

I turned back to look out the car window pausing, "How long has it been?"

"Two days and a few hours," he replied steadily.

I gasped in shock, "What's happened Kyoya-san?" I turned to look at him. "Please." I had never suspected that I had been gone for so long. I didn't know what my parents knew. I didn't know what his parents knew. I did not even know what my school had been told. It was important to me. I had missed out on so much.

"The Host Club covered it up," he said with a quiet sigh. "We should have mentioned it, but the blackmail that Seiren-san was using would have made several things rather uncomfortable so Tamaki-san decided that the Host Club would leave for a small study session at the beach to provide better information. As far as our schools and parents are concerned, you have been at the Nekozawa private beach studying."

I turned to him, mixed feelings of gratefulness and wonder circulating through my exhausted body. "What have you been doing in that time?"

"Looking for you and trying to find a way around Seiren-kohai's demands without alerting her to it."

"You succeed." I wasn't asking.

"Of course –I would never have complied with her wishes. I was more inclined to turn to an authority first." I laughed weakly, and leaned my head against his shoulder.

I really wanted to know what had happened. I still wanted to be mad at him for ignoring me. I was too tired to care though. I just wanted to sleep. I didn't want to worry and care about my fiancé and what he done. I sighed –tomorrow I could be mad at him.

"One of your servants packed up some clothing and it's waiting at Nekozawa-san's beach house. He was kind enough to lend it to us." He paused, "At the end of this week we'll return back to school and everything. I hope you don't mind."

For doing all of this to rescue me, and still being able to show a caring side I was a little impressed. I shifted closer to him, wanting added warmth and comfort. I wanted to be near someone I could trust. I didn't care where I was so long as I was with people I knew and trusted. I didn't want to ever see Kain-sama or Seiren-san again. I wasn't sure how I would handle seeing them again. Let alone explaining why I had such a strong reaction to their presences. With an exhausted barrage of emotions I collapsed into a natural slumber against my fiancé.


	16. Chapter Eight

Chapter Eight

I possessed a drowsy recollection of being carried inside a mansion by my fiancé, after the car ride but that was last memory before falling asleep again. When I woke up I was in a brightly lit room, lying on a queen sized bed in a very strange room. The curtains were pulled open, revealing the room to be painted in dark hues wit darker trims around it. The pictures that adorned the dark gray walls were morbid and strange –some featured pictures of cats others of strange shapes that had collided together to form some rather abstract thing.

I rose to my feet and wandered over to a large wardrobe. I could remember Kyoya-san mentioning that they had gathered clothing for me. I paused in my way towards it as I caught something from the corner of my eye. I looked at it, trying to determine what it was. A white sheet was draped over something shaped like an oval, and it confused me only because I had no idea why someone would have concealed a mirror. I pulled off the lightly dust-covered sheet and looked at my reflection. I frowned and glanced at the sheet in my hands, allowing it to fall on the floor.

I was still dressed in the same clothing I had been wearing for the last two days. My face sported several colorful bruises along both cheeks. I could see that some were yellowing around the edges and closer towards the center of my cheeks, there was a green ring around the purple bluish area. I looked hideous, to be honest. I slowly lifted a hand and brushed it against my cheek gently, wincing at such an insubstantial touch. My hair was a complete mess. I could see several mats in it, not to mention I could feel a few of the knots that were pulling. I sat down at the vanity, looking at my reflection as I worked the elastic from my hair and looked for either a brush or a comb although I preferred hairbrushes.

I always brushed and washed my hair every day to keep it under my control. If I didn't, my hair tended to go out of control as it was now. My hair was thick and by tying it back, it helped it appear nicer than it really was. After having adopted this hairstyle, my hair in later years was usually manageable unless I did nothing to it. Looking at my hair now, I could only sigh. It was easier to manage with hairbrushes –which was why I preferred them. I wandered over to the wardrobe hoping that within it I would be able to find my hairbrush. I was unable to hide my gleeful grin when I did spot it. I had a fondness for my hairbrush, which may have been odd but I had been using the same type of brush for several years, since when I had discovered it my hair had sorted out. It was a slightly childish and unscientific belief, but I was aware of that.

I grabbed my brush and set down before the mirror and began to sort through my hair. It took me a while, about a half an hour or so by my guess to remove the mats and start on the knots and tangles. Those took me only about fifteen minutes, which was quick even for me –and especially without any hair products at my disposal. I supposed that I could have taken a shower but I didn't know where it was and it seemed odd to me to do at this point in time although I would have greatly appreciated one. When my hair was under control, I snapped the elastic band around it to keep it tied back.

I returned to pick out my clothes, pulling out a fresh pair of jeans and a t-shirt followed by a small jacket. I changed into them gratefully, feeling cleaner and fresher than before. I tossed the filthy clothing into a small pile, making a note to do something about them shortly. I left my room, hunger gnawing at my stomach. I was looking forward to breakfast, whatever it was. It would be better than what I had been eating for the last two days that was for certain.

I left my room and worked my way down the hallway which was a soft, beige color. Pictures of cats and people adorned the walls. I passed them, following the railing to find the stairs. I made my way down noticing how the halls seemed to echo. I paused at that point, straining to hear sounds of the hosts. I would have expected some noise from them but there was nothing. It was… silent. I rushed down the stairs and spotted the main doors, quickly opening them to look out and search the immediate beach. I spotted Honey-senpai and his cousin chasing Haruhi-san with the twins laughing as they watched. Odd. No sign of either my fiancé or Tamaki-san. I heard a sudden playful yelp and then spotted Tamaki-san racing towards the twins, holding something papery up. I withdrew into the mansion and searched for the kitchen.

My stomach was loudly demanding attention and I had decided to grant what it wanted. I found the kitchen after a few attempts and pulled out a carton of milk before searching the cupboards. I pulled down a box of cereal, not paying close attention to what it was. It didn't really matter –I was too hungry to care. I glanced at its contents as I poured it into the ceramic bowl. Almonds and some round shaped cereal seemed to be the cereal and I checked the milk's due date before pouring it. I sat down at the counter, comfortable with the stool beneath me as I ate my breakfast. It was ten times better than the water and sandwiches I had been eating in captivity.

I jumped when I saw someone move into my line of sight and relaxed when I realized that it was Kyoya-san. He greeted me pleasantly and walked near me, reaching to the cupboard that had been too high for me to reach. I glowered at my bowl, feeling belittled by his height. He chuckled and shifted from behind me, pouring himself some cereal and milk. I wished that I could have asked if he had to show-off his height but I knew that it was a pointless question. He couldn't change his height as much as I could not change mine.

"Where are the hosts?" he inquired, swallowing a spoonful of the overly sweet cereal.

"Outside," I replied, a curling smile tracing across my face as distaste spread across his face.

He set his spoon in the bowl looking at me with exasperation, "Couldn't have warned me that it was sweet?"

I shook my head, grinning outright now, "I didn't know that sweets bothered you."

"Only in the morning," he responded, pushing his bowl away from him.

I snickered, "You have to eat _something_," I said, feeling surprisingly lighthearted.

He glanced at me, "You have issues with wasting food." He wasn't asking.

"Yes," I replied, smiling sweetly.

He rolled his eyes, pulled his bowl closer to him and with a grimace began to eat it. I finished before him and waited for him to finish. He was truly less than happy with having to actually eat it all, but he didn't protest it. I wondered if this was at all like a window into my future, sitting at the counter and eating across from my husband while he was readying to leave. Not that my fiancé was getting ready to leave, but it was easy to see that aura around him. His hair was organized messily, clearly an intentional state. He was fully dressed, wearing a white button-up shirt and black trousers.

When he finished eating, he pushed his bowl away from with a dark scowl at it before turning to look at me. There was no trace of ill-will in his expression. I again wondered at what had transpired in the two days I was absent and as abruptly as my good mood had come, it just as swiftly departed. I remembered how I had left Kyoya-san those days ago. I had been left ignored. He had not introduced me to Renge-san. He had not explained their relationship and it seemed that everyone knew something that I did not. Which was not right, in my opinion. As his fiancée I had a right to know. Yet, still, as being a person, he had his own right to keep whatever was between them a secret. I didn't like it, but I did have to entertain that idea. I could demand to know, but I could not enforce a reason why. He had no reason for this marriage, aside from his family stress. I did. I wanted to help people and I would fail at that if I took this to our parents and started an argument.

What was I supposed to do with that? I didn't have anything to work with, to force him with. I had to rely on hope and optimism that he might just tell me what was going on. I needed to know. It had passed the point of curiosity and I was feeling it as a necessity to know what was going on. I had a right to know, but nothing to exert it with. And I wasn't certain if he would just tell me in simple, blunt terms. He might decide not to and I was beginning to see that outcome as scary.

"Did my parents say much, when you called them to say that I would be staying here?" I inquired, trying to narrow down the focus of my thoughts to areas that were the most important.

"Not particularly. They seemed to view it as a chance for us to become closer," he paused and I saw mirth flickering in his eyes. "It's good that we're engaged –had we been lesser than so it might have been harder to get their acceptance of the idea."

I nodded once, showing my understanding and looked away to show my discomfort at the suggested idea. "What requests did they leave you with?"

He glanced at me, and leaned back far enough that I had a moment of unusual concern that he might fall off his stool but he remained balanced in that position. "First, Seiren-san wanted me to break off our engagement under claims of infidelity. Secondly, she wanted me to contact my cousin and have them pay for the difficulties that the Kain family was going through. Thirdly, she wanted me to arrange to marry Renge-san as well as start an engagement between you and the Kain heir," he explained this matter-of-factly. "She seemed to think that it was fair if I got married to another, for you to follow suit." He shrugged, shifting on the stool to rearrange his center of balance. I was impressed by how he was able to shift his center of balance so rapidly and accurately.

I licked my suddenly dry lips, "All of that? How did you avoid it?"

"All she needs is to hear about the termination of our engagement, my new engagement with Renge-san and yours with Kain-san. I told her that the Maika Magazine would have the full story. I have already been interviewed and it is set to be released in a few hours."

I stared at him. "But if you only told the Maika Magazine, then they're going to receive a large amount of sales…"

"About a false story," he finished for me, agreeing. "The Maika Magazine is well-known for having such gossip posted first and so I am playing on that fact. As well as there are certain details that will strike obvious denial into our family and friends. Of course, with our absence it will leave some time for the article to be discussed and speculated. Our return will naturally deny it as a false story, but Seiren-kohai will have gotten what she wanted and we will have avoided that fact."

I continued to stare at him, baffled by his response and uncertain of how to react. "You said that she had blackmail on you, and because of that you had been in a difficult place."

He smiled tightly then, and removed his glasses to quickly clean them on his shirt. I wondered if it was a nervous habit of his. If it was, it was proof of how rarely he got nervous. He looked up at me, his gray eyes meeting mine without any lenses acting as a barrier. There was something solemn in them at this moment. As he placed his glasses back on, I noted that the emotion seemed distant. I wondered if it was an effect of the glasses or just something he had adopted to doing when he wore them.

"What she had on me," he began and cut off just as abruptly. The door slammed open and laughter wafted in through the doorway. He sighed, obviously vexed by the interruption.

Tamaki-san and the twins entered the kitchen first, laughing and squabbling loudly. They stopped to see us sitting across from each other, both having serious expressions on our faces and they stopped. Tamaki-san was the first one to speak to us, greeting us with a warm smile on his face and praising the beauty of the morning. I actually felt like being violent for a moment, but the instance passed immediately and I had hardly entertained it. Tamaki-san was too cheery and undeserving of any such violence towards his person. He was nice to everyone, and therefore he was due pleasantries back, not violence.

"It's nice to see you again, Ashia-chan!" Honey-senpai inserted from the dining room, looking in from Morinozuka-senpai's shoulders.

"Welcome back Ashia-san," Haruhi-kohai agreed, I saw her standing beside the two seniors.

"It's good to have you back," the twins chirped, although I suspected that Hikaru-san had an ulterior motive for it.

"Maybe Kyoya-san will stop moping now that he's got his fiancée back," teased my fiancé's blond junior. I knew it was coming when my fiancé rose to his feet and with an irritated sigh, forcefully shoved the cereal box at his friend. He met Tamaki-san's eyes and I knew that there was a subtle, yet powerful glower traded by my fiancé and his friend.

"I'm going outside," he calmly announced, his posture and tone defying the easy movements that he made as he left the house.

I greeted them warmly as well, "It's nice to be back." I paused, looking towards the doorway where light spilled from. Apparently my fiancé had not closed the door outside after him. "I'm going to go talk to Kyoya-san," I said, looking back at them. "Please don't disturb us," I added forcefully, looking between them all.

With an inclination to them, I headed for the door. I needed to talk with Kyoya without being disturbed. I paused at the door looking back at them. I had no way to ensure that they would not follow me. I smiled nervously and left, closing the door behind me. I would hope that they didn't. I would hope that we would have enough time to finish discussing this topic. I was also optimistic that I might be able to learn about him and Renge-san. Maybe it was my imagination, but something about today struck me as being a good day.

I spotted my fiancé, walking down the white sandy beach. I headed towards him, not calling out or trying to get his attention. I glanced at my feet, only realizing then that I was not wearing shoes or socks.

The white sandy beach was home to pieces of driftwood and seashells. Palm trees lined the shore, standing like exotic models in the hot summer sun. The gentle whoosh of the ocean was soothing and the faint rustle of leaves in the morning breeze only added to the relaxing atmosphere. I could hear a lone seagull crying out, and I felt pity for the poor creature. The damp sand stuck itself between my toes, the gritty feeling unpleasant despite the softness of the waves. I could see the imprint of my fiancé's footprints and those of the hosts. I felt small, comparing my tiny footprints to their larger ones.

He was standing on the soft green grass, shaded by the palm trees above him. I approached nervously as he sat down comfortably. I followed suit, folding my legs underneath me. A ray of sunlight stretched through the shade, pooling between myself and him as though it were a barrier between us, reflecting the chasm that neither of us could cross. It was only a few centimeters across, screening me in light and him in shade. It was a powerful separation between us, despite how insubstantial and small it was.

I shifted slightly, the grass gently brushing my feet. I waited for him to say something. I needed him to speak first, in order for him to progress with his tale. It was for him to tell me about the blackmail Seiren-san had left him with. He sighed impatiently, and I sensed something akin to frustration pulsating from him.

"Renge-san is involved with his story," he stated, glancing at me through the light. "I know that you must be curious about why she is so frequently mentioned by Seiren-san."

I nodded, "I am, actually," it was a challenge to keep my tone controlled.

He said nothing in return to that and silence briefly surrounded us. "Tamaki-san's mother is in France and he has not seen her since he agreed to come to Japan in order to get her treatment. Renge-san was from France and as a child she had been acquainted with his mother. Upon discovering this, I inquired of her to see if she could give the president some peace of mind." He paused, "Tamaki-san does worry about his mother but he doesn't let it show. Renge-san agreed, naturally," I suspected that he had offered her something in return, "and swiftly left for France.

"I had not been in communication with her since her departure, and two days ago she arrived in Japan. She came to find me and tell me that she had been in contact with his mother. Tamaki-san has been forbidden to contact his mother and to hear news of her would be much appreciated. But as it was, I too had been warned about contacting his mother after the school trip to France. Yet I had Renge-san do it, and therefore if my family got word of it punishment would be inevitable. I don't know how Seiren-san found out."

I reached out through the screen of light and grasped his hand. "What did you give Renge-san in return?" I wasn't sure how to handle with all this new information that he had just given me. I was trying to work with it, as best as I could.

He smiled and I recognized it as an advantageous one, "That Haruhi-kohai could be her host for several days –of course without being charged for it."

"She thinks that Haruhi-san is a boy, doesn't she?" He nodded and I sighed. "And she'll be fine when she learns otherwise."

"It doesn't really matter, as I already presented the information she gave me to Tamaki-san." He grinned, glasses flashing, "She can't take back the deal or the fact that she already gave me the information. It's set."

I shook my head, admiring my fiancé's deviousness at the same time as I scolded it. I wasn't sure whether it was right or wrong for him to have done such a thing. "It would have been nice, when she walked up to you, that you had introduced me," I said bluntly, removing the weight from my shoulders.

He blinked several times before I received a reply from him. His expression had made it apparent enough, that he had not even thought about it. Then again, I had also been kidnapped for two days. Maybe my priorities should have been elsewhere, but I wanted some closure about why he had not done so earlier. "That was exceptionally rude of me not to do so. My apologies –it will not happen again."

For some reason, I didn't quite believe that it was the whole story. But I let it go. I smiled, happy to have received an apology for it.


	17. The Ninth Test

The Ninth Test

With a startled gasp, I sat up. My heart was pounding, like it was about to burst from my chest, I wiped the sweat from my brow, panting heavily as I fought to get my breathing back under control. As it slowed, and my heartbeat ceased to race, I rose to my feet. The silken pajama bottoms brushed against my legs in a smooth manner. My white nightgown extended to my knees, the thin fabric helping keep me cool in the hot summer air. A sense of paranoia and fear struck me then and I fought to keep my breathing under control so that I would not hyperventilate.

I left my room and made my way towards the door that was a few steps away. I didn't want to disturb anyone else. It was one o'clock in the morning and I had no right to seek comfort from them by waking them. I knocked tentatively, my petite form shaking with fright and nervousness. I waited to hear the voice grant me permission but it didn't come. I pulled my arms around my form, reminding myself of just how insecure I was. As I debated on knocking again or returning to my room, his belated response arrived and I opened the door. His room was dark, the only light streamed from the LCD screen of his laptop which was situated on his lap. His glasses reflected the light, hiding his eyes from my sight. Based on the position of his head, I knew that he was looking at me but I had nothing else to judge with.

"Yes?" he inquired, shifting slightly.

I worked to get moisture in my mouth, while trying to keep it from my eyes. "Scared," I whispered my voice cracking as I forced the word past my numb lips. "Please," I tried to continue, tears filling my eyes as voice faded brokenly. I was fighting not to think of the nightmarish dream which was my reality.

He nodded once and I moved towards him, desperate for companionship. I didn't feel quite safe at the moment, as though I could be kidnapped again at any point in time. I knew that it was irrational, but I couldn't help or stop the fear coursing through me. I wished that I could stop it, that I didn't have to be here, that I didn't need him. But I was lonely and scared, and he was the only one I felt no guilt about waking up, had he been asleep.

I sat down beside him, feeling inferior and cowardly. His laptop revealed that he had been researching restaurants business. I felt sudden apprehension as he continued to look at the information displayed before him. He was researching the Kain family; I suspected he was planning revenge. I knew it was wrong, but at the same time it was right. It wasn't justified for Seiren-san and Kain-sama to have no punishments to follow them. It also wasn't right if my fiancé administered their punishment. I wanted to protest what he was planning, but I couldn't find a way to voice it and instead remained silent.

It was a comfort to just be near someone I trusted. He typed something rapidly and paused to glance at me. I had my arms wrapped around my knees which were pulled against my torso. Nervousness was still gnawing at me, and by keeping my form tense I was preventing my trembles from being apparent. I didn't try to summon a smile and pretend that I was alright. I wasn't, and even he knew that. I felt no desire to reassure him by being about my well-being.

"Can we at least talk?" I asked quietly.

"About what, precisely?" he retorted, without looking at me.

"Anything," I responded, desperate for the silence between us to stop. His presence was only comforting to a limited extent.

He was quiet for a moment, "Are you going to be alright?"

It was then that I realized he cared too. He had no more of an idea of what was expected of him than I did. He didn't know how to help me. It wasn't every day that he had to comfort a kidnap victim and help them overcome their fears. I was grateful that the only abuse I suffered came from punches. The incident itself was terrifying and an eye-opener to how careful I had to be with people, but it wasn't going to defeat me. I only had to overcome the bruises and this accursed nervousness.

I nodded wordlessly and realized that maybe he needed to hear me say that I was going to be fine. I assumed him to be a great many things and perhaps I shouldn't have thought so. I thought him cold and heartless, and only now was I learning otherwise. This concern of his might not have derived from affection, but it just as easily could have. He did care, but his reasoning behind it was still a mystery to me.

"I think it'll be alright," I said softly, "but I just need time." And the comfort of being with people I could trust without a doubt. I didn't add this, for fear that it might have alerted him to how shaken up I was.

He was quiet, but I noticed that it was a contemplative silence. "Is there… anything that we can do to help you?"

"Just let me forget about it," I replied steadily. I paused as I realized how that might sound to him. "It only hit me in the form of a dream, the effect of my experience," I added hastily, trying to prevent any misunderstandings between us.

"Tomorrow we'll see if Haruhi-kohai would mind sharing a room with you," he stated his tone back to being that of a decisive, authoritative person.

He turned back to his laptop, continuing his research. I shuffled closer to him, a small chill surrounding me. He eyed me askance and I pulled the thin bed sheet around me, noticing that he held only his laptop on his tan pajamas. The electronic device was probably keeping him warm but I had nothing aside from a thin nightgown and silk pajama bottoms to keep me at a comfortable temperature.

I managed to stay awake for an hour. Neither of us spoke during that time. The only sounds were of the occasional tapping of the keyboard, the whirling of the laptop's fan and our breathing. At two o'clock in the morning, I found myself about to fall asleep. I had shifted my position to be lying beside Kyoya-san who was sitting up against the headboard of the bed, still researching. My head was resting on a pillow, looking up at the ceiling. I felt exhaustion sweeping down on me, the sounds strangely soothing and relaxing, helping me drift towards sleep and the comforting presence of someone who wouldn't kidnap me was also beneficial to sleep.


	18. Chapter Nine

Chapter Nine

I woke up alone, in the same room I had fallen asleep in. His laptop was lying on the far side of the bed. I spotted his glasses on the bedside table which only served to pique my curiosity. I looked over the edge of the bed and spotted him lying there, asleep. He had one pillow and a sheet around him. I smiled tenderly, a feeling of guilt swarming me as I realized that he had slept on the floor so as not to disturb me. I was grateful at the fact that he had not left the room. I had not been further tormented by any nightmare –but I was still pleased that he had not fled the room. It was a definite comfort.

I glanced at the clock, surprised to realize that it was only quarter to ten. I wondered at how late my fiancé had stayed up before I quietly headed for the door. I paused to glance at his prone form before returning to my room. The hallways were empty, but I could hear the hosts' laughter echoing from somewhere downstairs. I entered my room and locked the door as I changed from my pajamas into regular clothes. I selected a blue t-shirt and gray breeches with matching sandals. I then addressed my hair; freeing it from the confines of the single plait I had trapped it in as a means to keep it under control.

I set out to brush it and once it was tangle-free, I threw it into a ponytail and headed downstairs. I could still hear their laughter and by following the sound I was able to find them in the dining room. Morinozuka-san was calmly watching the twins and the president as they had cornered the female host in the room. At my entrance he glanced at me and then to the hosts. I didn't even need to greet them as Haruhi-san spotted me and gleefully cried out name, distracting the three boys who had cornered her. She took that moment to flee and abruptly left the house. Tamaki-san followed, calling out for her but she gave no indication of slowing down as he pursued her.

The twins both shrugged, sly grins appearing on their identical faces. I wondered at what they were up to, but didn't ask. I had the feeling that my conscience would be better off not knowing. I could have asked about why they had cornered Haruhi-san bit I felt that it was related to their impish grins. I turned to the senior, noticing the absence of his cousin.

"Morinozuka-senpai, where is Honey-senpai?"

He glanced at me, "Mori," he corrected.

Hikaru-san spoke, "Honey-senpai is in the same place as Kyoya-senpai." That statement was just dying to be either misunderstood or to force me to protest my understanding of why this was a terrible statement, thus revealing my knowledge otherwise.

"Why didn't you wake him up?" I inquired pacifistically, ignoring the responses that the twin had been waiting to hear me make.

"There was no specific reason for him to be awake," Mori-senpai stated, "and since he does like to sleep, he may do so today."

"Mori-senpai is the only one capable of withstanding Honey-senpai's wrath when he's been disturbed from his slumber," Kaoru-san explained.

I wondered at how terrifying Honey-senpai could possibly be. He was so adorable –but it was possible for him to have his own dark side. With that simple acceptance of Honey-senpai, I suspected that I also had to admit that it was necessary for Kyoya-san to have a good side. Weird that I had come to that realization such a short while ago with him, whereas with Honey-senpai it was exceptionally easy. I felt guilt over that, accepting a dark side was easier than accepting a good side. I should have been more willing to accept the fact of a good side than it was to accept a dark side.

"Kyoya-senpai should also be up, shouldn't he?" inquired Hikaru-kohai, his eyes twinkling with a challenge. I knew the words that he was going to speak before he said them –and I loathed to notice the distance between us. There was no chance to silence him beforehand. "Unless he's too tired from some strenuous activity?"

The implication in that did not miss me. I didn't know if Hikaru-san was just trying to agitate me and possessed some slight insight into last night's event, or if he was just taking a shot in the dark. It didn't really matter to me. It just mattered that he had actually implied something. I shook my head, shifting my stance. Anyone who knew me well knew that the position I had now adopted was one used for chasing my prey. The word prey was used because they never stood a chance at escaping me, and because I hunted them so mercilessly. Some comments were forgivable. Like when Seiren-san called me an escort, that was a different case. A punishable one. This was a case more designed for fun, as well as a justification of the jibes that Hikaru-san tended to use.

I sprinted towards him, discovering that he was more agile than he looked as he raced towards the glass door and after opening it he fled through it. I kicked off my sandals carefully, knowing that they would only hinder my pursuit. It wasn't much of a challenge for me as I pursued him with a predator's determination. I kept him in my line of sight and when he made a beeline for the beach, I increased my speed and easily tackled him. I made sure that my tackle was only enough to force him to fall, without carrying me down with the momentum.

A loud "oof" resounded from him as the air he had been inhaling escaped. He looked up at me, a reluctant admiration in his eyes. I knew that jogging would have eventually paid off for me, and it had. I couldn't help but be proud of that fact. I was faster than Hikaru-san. It had at least earned me his grudging respect, whether he wanted to admit it or not.

"Take it back," I said, looking down at him.

"Take what back, exactly?" he demanded, sitting up comfortably.

I glowered at him, "Your implication of something that never happened."

"Aw did it offend you?"

I snorted, "Only the fact that a pervert was looking in on me while I slept offended me," I replied.

"Ah, so you _weren't_ asleep in your own bed then," he responded, a sly grin forming.

"And you _weren't_ watching me sleep," I retorted.

He frowned, "Did you actually think that I would?"

"I wasn't entirely certain," I responded cautiously.

He choked on that for a moment, "That would be exceptionally odd, and perverted, had I done so."

"Implying it indicates that you have been watching me sleep. If you would kindly consider it that way the next time you think of attempting to insult me."

I walked away at that point, not waiting for Hikaru-san to follow me. I didn't care if he followed me either. I had my point, about what he said and that I hadn't like it. I had proven that I had surprising talents as well when I had surprised him by actually catching him.

I returned to the mansion, slipping my sandals back on as I entered the house. I entered the kitchen and went for the same sweet cereal I had eaten yesterday morning, but I found no sign of the box. I then began to search for some other kind of cereal, not desiring to have to cook. The only thing I discovered was that there was no cereal left. And I was hungry.

I then began to find appropriate ingredients for making pancakes. I was surprised to notice that there were strawberries, so as I let the batter sit I began to slice a few strawberries. By the time I was done with the strawberries, I gave the batter another stir before setting on the greased pan. I set about cooking the pancakes, setting onto the platter. I wasn't cruel enough to only cook pancakes for myself. I made enough for several people –I didn't keep count of exactly how many I made.

I entered the dining room, setting four seats of which I served. As I returned to get the food, I was about to leave with the plates laden with pancakes that had strawberries and whip-cream adorning them. I was about to head into the dining room when I gave a startled gasp to realize that my fiancé was standing at the doorway. I frowned at him, shoving a plate at him before grabbing another and setting it on the table. I returned to bring the other two plates and set them in their appropriate positions before I started to eat.

My fiancé had already begun, and I realized that I had a voracious appetite. I didn't usually, but I supposed I had spent many of them between my run and all the worrying I had been doing. I suspected that my worries were a more prominent cause than anything else. I enjoyed the delicious meal, savoring the three medium sized pancakes that I had chosen. The strawberries were sweet, but not as strong as the maple syrup I had used to accompany them. As I finished up, I noticed that my fiancé had left his whipping cream untouched and that no syrup dusted his plate. He was looking at me too.

"How can you eat such disgusting sweetness?"

I smiled, "Easily," I responded.

I pushed my plate away, pleased with how it had turned out. He rolled his eyes. "It was good," he admitted, "just not something that I'm fond of."

"At least you can appreciate it," I stated optimistically.

He glanced at me, sighing, "Do you ever have a pessimistic view of things?"

I paused considering. No specific examples came to mind. "I'm sure there are times," I replied carefully. He shook his head, but said nothing. "Are you ever optimistic?" I inquired thoughtfully.

"Yes," he responded. "But my hopes are always tempered with my practicality."

Something that I believed Tamaki-san lacked. I wondered how much practicality he had. What the Host Club would be like without him. I paused there, realizing something. Without him, there wouldn't _be_ a Host Club. I shook my head, blocking out the thoughts although they were intriguing ones to ponder.

"Where are the others?" he inquired, glancing around.

"They were here earlier. Tamaki-san was chasing Haruhi-kohai last I saw and Kaoru-kohai and Mori-senpai were here. Hikaru-kohai was outside, last I saw him."

He glanced at me, and I suspected that he knew that there was something else to my statement. I didn't expand on what I had said, though, leaving it as I had said it. He didn't press for more information either, which was slightly relaxing for me, oddly. I hadn't noticed how rarely he pressed for any hard information. Anything that I didn't want to share; I had not been demanded of it. I felt a little odd to realize that I had only just noticed this softness from him. I couldn't exactly explain how it was softness towards me, as I was also aware that it could have been a delusion that I had convinced myself into while wanting his affections. I hoped not. But I wasn't entirely certain. I supposed that no one could really know for certain.

It would have been nice, to have something that I could claim as being certain of without asking. I couldn't possibly ask a question as invasive as that. It was up to Kyoya-san if he wanted to share that information. There was nothing that I could do to get an answer from him unless he gave it willingly. I didn't want him to think that I was asking, for some confirmation of our engagement. I didn't want to be lied to either, which he might do if he felt that I would pull away if he told me the truth. It was hard. I wanted an answer, but there was no way that I could possibly get one unless he said something.


	19. The Tenth Test

The Tenth Test

I was standing on the porch, looking out towards the beach. I was standing at the far end of the wooden deck. A few chairs and a table were at the other side, closer to where my fiancé was standing. The noon sun was shining on me, the warmth welcome and refreshing. My fiancé was standing near me, basking in the sun as well. I didn't usually spend time in the sun. I was usually too busy between school or something else. I was always busy. I rarely spent time doing simple things, like admiring the flowers, as I had heard it worded before. I just didn't spend my time doing that, and it made me feel sad that I couldn't afford to spend more time enjoying the simple beauties of the world.

I wondered if Kyoya-san ever felt the same way. That it was a shame to not admire the small things. I turned to him, with the intention of asking him that exact question. He however, seemed to have a different idea going on. His attention was riveted on the beach and I followed his determined and direct gaze towards the shore. I spotted all of the hosts, excluding Honey-senpai, playing a game of volleyball at the beach. The next moment seemed to pass in a weak form of slow motion as I watched the ball that Tamaki-san had meant to serve, fly over the net and be deflected by an agile move of Haruhi-san's. The volleyball then soared away from the net, the momentum that it had picked up from Tamaki-san's brutal serve and Haruhi-san's reflexive block sent it towards me.

The distance between the porch and the beach wasn't very far. Maybe twenty some regular steps. That was likely a poor calculation on my part, but it didn't really matter as the ball soared towards me. I flinched as it came at me, its path direct and unhindered by anything. The next thing that I knew, my back had collided with the soft grass, sandy particles strewn throughout it due to its proximity with the shore. I slowly opened my eyes from my flinching movement and stared up into Kyoya-san's gray ones. He had apparently tackled me.

I heard the loud rubbery bang as the volleyball collided with the house, a few milliseconds after having the sense of being airborne due to my fiancé's protection. He shifted back off of me, straightening his glasses and holding his hand towards me. With a sheepish and grateful smile I accepted his hand and he pulled me to my feet. I was about to thank him when Tamaki-san and Haruhi-san arrived, both of them spewing apologies to me and my fiancé. Kyoya-san glanced carelessly at Tamaki-san before calmly sweeping the sand particles from his clothing. He said nothing to either of them. Although Haruhi-kohai's apologies had stilled, the president's had not.

"I'm fine," I interjected shortly. "Just… be more careful next time, alright?"

I felt a strange feeling in my gut, fear, I suspected. The ball had come awfully close to hitting me and Kyoya-san had actually dived in order to get me out of the way. I shook my head in wonder at my reaction to that. I could have used my arm to deflect the ball, or catch it, or even better, I could have used my legs and moved out of the way. But no. I had to stay right in the path of the rubber ball's path.

Tamaki-san retrieved the ball and volleyed it back to his awaiting friends who had looked on with varying expressions of mirth. I wasn't entirely certain of what they had found amusing. Haruhi-san thanked me for being gracious and cast an anxious glance at the vice-president before scurrying back to the other hosts. I rubbed the top of my head, exhaling softly, still feeling nervous. I didn't feel all that safe standing where I was. I glanced over at my fiancé, to notice that he was also looking at me.

"Thanks," I said, biting my lip out of habit. My nervous habit –it was always clear when I was a little bothered by something. I didn't even notice half the time that I was doing it.

"Not a problem," he replied, turning towards the house.

He entered and I followed behind him, a certain amount of trepidation pursuing me. I paused in the kitchen to see that Honey-senpai was awake and happily devouring the pancakes that had been left out. I was about to join him in the dining room when I became aware of Kyoya-san's presence. He towered at my side, and deciphering his location as my eyes adjusted to the darkness made him appear more of a silhouette than a person.

I was curious as to what he wanted, but the clatter of a fork against a plate in the dining room distracted me as I focused my attention on Honey-senpai who then began to approach the door that would take him outside. It was a strangely tense moment as he waited at the door, seeming to consider something before actually leaving the house. Maybe it was the intensity of my fiancé's looming form that had me feeling nervous. I wasn't entirely certain of what was the cause of it. I turned back to him, letting my attention begin to make out details of his shadowed face. I wished that my eyes could adjust faster between the sunny world and the shaded one.

"How can you possibly be that forgiving?" he asked softly. There was no forcefulness in his tone; no demands. It was a simple question that had surprised me.

"What do you mean?" I asked hesitantly, not entirely certain as to of what he was referring.

"With Tamaki-san and Haruhi-kohai, you forgave almost being bloodied by a rubber ball." I blinked at him, too stupefied by his question to formulate an answer immediately. "If not for me, you would have been in a great deal of pain," he added, again that soft tone to his voice.

It took me a few moments to get my mouth working again, "I-it was an accident," I stammered. "They didn't mean it. Haruhi-kohai only instinctually reacted to Tamaki-san's serve. It's not hard to forgive what wasn't intended."

He sighed, exasperated. "You'll forgive anything, won't you?" That question bordered on being insulting. I considered how he most likely meant it, as an earnest one with no intention of resembling a jibe.

"Some things deserved to be forgiven; others merely require me to let go of them," I replied calmly and honestly.

He stared at me for a moment, wonderment twinkling in his eyes. "How can you do that?"

I paused, again closely contemplating his words. "You were really concerned, weren't you?" I asked gently. "I know it must seem strange, alien, to you, that I could forgive it with just the bat of an eye. But, it's completely natural to me." I glanced at him, wondering if he was only just starting to think of how many times I had accepted his actions with an apology. "There shouldn't be any reason to hold a grudge against someone who has shown a desire to be forgiven and repent what happened."

I knew that my words had to sound insane to him. I knew that it was what my friends' considered them to be. My understanding words were what I had become accustomed to being called "crazy talk" by them. I knew that although they teased me for it, they accepted my empathetic abilities. I didn't know what Kyoya-san would think of them. I suddenly felt apprehension drawing on me, as I waited for him to reply to my statement.

"There shouldn't be," he agreed, speaking slowly and clearly as to sort out his thoughts without holding silence for too long, "but there often is." A pause. "I am not as forgiving as you, at being able to just accept an apology without batting an eye."

"I know," I said quietly, feeling small. "It's just how I am, and it's how you are to not be able to do so." He shook his head, moving in irritation. I realized then that I was able to discern his features then. "Believe me; you have my appreciation for being as controlled as you are. You never let your temper get the better of you," I said.

He started off chuckling, but ended up almost doubled over in laughter. I wasn't entirely certain about what I had said to him that had bothered him to such an extent. When he was able to get his chuckles under control again, he spoke to me. "I'm not _that_ in control of my temper."

"More than I am," I pressed, determined.

He shook his head, saying nothing in response to my words. He reached over in a slow motion and we embraced. It wasn't awkward as the sense of the moment gave it certain rightness. It was also a comforting embrace, yet at the same time I found it patronizing. As though he was using it so that he didn't have to say anything more about his composure. I let the topic go, knowing that he wanted me to forget about it.

_Thank you for the reviews! They have been greatly appreciated. And thank you to my favers and alerters -thank you for reading! _

_I'm having a rough time with writing, right now. I had actually intended a kiss scene to take place here, but it is just so not right for that. If you have any ideas for what should happen next, what you want to see happening, I would be very pleased to hear about it. _


	20. Chapter Ten

Chapter Ten

We went into the living room after that, and as I had just taken a seat, the doorbell rang. He went to answer it, and I just remained on the couch, my legs folded underneath me as I looked towards the television. The glass coffee table in front was adorned with magazines and other flyers and such, and I wondered if maybe the doorbell was ringing because the article had been published. I waited and heard Kyoya-san chatting with whoever was at the door, and a few moments after, he returned with a copy of the Maika Magazine in hand.

He showed the front cover to me, his picture more prominent than mine with a small image of Renge-san below his picture. My picture was in the top of the magazine, some of the words obscuring me while Kain-sama's image was almost completely hidden behind the title of the magazine. _Ootori/Shinishiki: The Heart Break_. I giggled at the title, trying to stifle my laughter.

He flipped it open and handed it to me before settling to sit down beside me. We both read through the magazine, and I was again a little tweaked that any mention of me was small and brief. Even though this whole thing was a lie, I had expected to get some form of attention. Not as little mention as I got. I had been expecting to be villainized or at the very least victimized by of course, my fiancé received all the sympathy. I got nothing.

I glanced accusingly at him, "All that sympathy for you, and you couldn't even villainize me?"

He chuckled, "I expected that the reporter would do it," he admitted, tossing the magazine on the glass coffee table. "Are you saddened by that?"

"Mildly," I responded. "I was actually interested in hearing what they could come up with."

What they said to victimize my fiancé was slightly amusing. He sounded very different from how he actually was. They made him into charity donator as well as an animal rights activist. I found it hard to believe that he might participate in those actives at this time, regardless of how our break-up had left him with more time than he knew what to do with.

I heard my cell phone go off, and at the same time my fiancé's did. I pulled mine from my pocket, flipping it open and glancing at the number to see that it was from my family. I answered quickly, moving into the dining room. "Yes?"

"Do you want to sue that company?" my mother demanded.

"What do you mean?" I wanted to be certain that we were on the same page before I agreed or disagreed with her statement.

"That horrible article. I can't believe that they actually make money from such garbage." She huffed irritably.

"The Maika one?" I inquired keeping calm. My mother had no idea about my kidnapping or anything else. I schooled myself to remain calm and remember what Kyoya-san had mentioned. Nothing specific about this, so I supposed it was up to me to mollify my mother in whatever manner I thought most appropriate. "No, I found it rather amusing. I thought they could have done with more mention of me rather; I was disappointed to see so little."

Silence echoed clearly. I figured that she was trying to grasp on an adequate response. "Why?" I could hear the tightly controlled anger over the line.

"If they were going to make up such terrible lies," I explained, letting amusement creep into my tone, "I thought that they could have at the very least invented something about me, rather than only focusing on my fiancé."

My mother chuckled unwillingly, "I suppose you have a point. And your fiancé is alright with it?"

"I believe that he's currently explaining his views to his family," I said, glancing back to the living room where he was in a heated discussion with someone.

She paused, "Have you two further bonded?"

It was my turn to hesitate. "Uh…" I considered on how to reply. "Okaasan that is an invasive question."

She giggled, "Daughter, the sooner you talk about it the sooner your relationship will ascend."

I shuddered visibly, "Thank you for your concern Okaasan; I'll talk to you later –love you." And I abruptly ended the phone call, sighing in relief.

That had been highly uncomfortable. I wondered if it was usual for parents to want to know about that sort of thing. I certainly hoped not. I never wanted to have to discuss how my relationship was with my mother. Ever. Something about it… disturbed me. I returned to the living room and sat on the l-shaped couch. It was a few short moments until Kyoya-san returned to sit at my side. He too sighed in relief; his phone disappeared into his pockets.

"Did your parents ask if you wanted to sue?" I inquired. He nodded. "Did they ask about… our … relationship?" I felt like I was choking on those words as my face burned hotly.

"They did," he shuddered very slightly. "I take it yours did as well?"

I nodded, unhappy about it. "I'm never talking about that with my parents," I said, almost meaning it as a vow.

He chuckled, "Nor will I ever speak of it with them," he agreed.

I heard the glass door slide open as the hosts all entered the mansion. I could hear their laughter. I rose from the couch to greet them. It was perceptibly different from the warmth and light that was in the living room. It possessed considerably less than the dining room did, anyways.

The hosts grinned and I called Haruhi-kohai into the kitchen. I decided to cook lunch, and asked her if she wanted to help. She agreed. Whenever any of the hosts decided to enter the kitchen, whoever was least busy with their cooking barred the entrance. Haruhi-san warned me in advance about the danger when they were together. Kyoya-san and Mori-senpai were the only hosts allowed in individually. Both Haruhi-san and I believed that the two would be perfectly fine without any of the others. Kyoya-san was the only one to take advantage of his permission in the kitchen as he calmly spoke to Haruhi-san about arranging it so that I would feel better. He calmly explained the situation without once giving away what had occurred last night. The fact that I had needed him and gone to him and that he was hoping to prevent this. It was as though it hadn't happened, and I appreciated it that he had been able to avoid mention of it with such skill.

He left after Haruhi-san agreed to share a room with me. I offered her a sheepish smile once he disappeared. I felt a little silly having to admit that I needed someone else, but I wasn't afraid of it being known. I was more concerned about my modesty and what they might think were they to learn that I had spent the night in Kyoya-san's room. I could feel heat working its way to my face and I quickly shoved the thoughts from my mind, delving into my cooking passionately. It was a short while before the emotions disappeared, as I got into the flow of cooking.

It was pleasant to find such a simple enjoyment in cooking. I was pleased when I drew back from the madrilène and added the fennel as a garnish before serving. Haruhi-san had made sandwiches to accompany the cold soup and we set them out and served them to the hosts. They were happy with it, and we all sat down to enjoy our meal in what started off as a calm atmosphere. But as it was with the hosts, it would never, ever last.

I don't know which twin started it, but I know that one of them did. I believe they stuck the fennel against Tamaki-san which then started the sandwiches being thrown about. Before anything could happen to the soup, both Haruhi-san and I were able to intervene. We assigned the clean-up to the twins and Tamaki-san before leaving to shift her belongings into my room.


	21. The Eleventh Test

The Eleventh Test

I gasped, stumbling through the wicked coldness as I tried to find them. They were somewhere nearby, I knew that much. I struggled to keep going, my legs numb with the cold and exhaustion coursing through me. Willpower alone kept me moving. I knew that they were just around the corner that I was rounding, the corner of the warehouse; they would be right behind it. My friends were there, but I had to get to them. I had to let them know that they had found me again. I needed their help, but I had to get to them first.

I raced, my heart beating fast and my breath coming from lungs in ragged gasps. I rounded the corner, fighting my exhaustion. I was going to see them any second. They were waiting for me right there. The heavy downpour obscured my view. I knew that they were right there. The rain that bounced up from the pavement beneath me was further evidence that it was only raining too hard for me to be able to see them. I kept going, my determination fading as I fought to remember why I needed to remind my friends of what was going on. They had left me a message saying to meet them here.

And here I was. I came to a complete stop, swaying. They weren't here. I looked around, seeking evidence to ascertain that they had maybe sought solace from the rain. But there was no sign of them. No trace. No evidence that they had ever even been here. I collapsed. My knees landed into a puddle of water, the moisture easily soaking through to my flesh. When I heard footsteps echoing in the wetness I looked up, expecting to see one of my friends. Someone who had promised to meet me here. But it wasn't them.

Kain-sama was standing there, the mirth in his eyes mocking me. I lacked enough strength to defend myself from him. He easily hauled me to my feet and dragged me inside the warehouse. I knew that Seiren-san was there, before he tossed me to her feet. I just knew. Something about her made it clear that she would be here. If Kain-sama was involved, she would be too. There was no way to avoid it. No way for me to escape her vile grasp. What had gone wrong this time? Kyoya-san had followed her rules, done what she wanted. She couldn't do this again. She couldn't.

I writhed violently, fighting to stand. Her foot launched out, striking my repeatedly in my gut. She could do it now –having gotten what she wanted from my fiancé. I cried out in pain, and she repeated the motion. "You thought that they would actually come when you called?" she laughed, her voice louder and shriller than I remembered. "How pathetic."

Kain-sama was laughing as well. But it didn't stop him from continuing. "They would never come for you. You're no one important to them. Shizu-san cares only for Shirabuki-san and Amamiya-san only follows you because of her."

"The hosts only pay attention to you because you're Kyoya-senpai's fiancée," she added venomously. "You are nothing to them!"

"But I am something to him!" I cried out, protesting this.

"You matter to one person, then, Ashia-san. Does that make you feel so much better? That only one man cares for you. You don't matter Ashia-san. No one cares about you. They care about everyone else. Everyone else matters more than you. They would after all, never betray you if you did matter to them. Obviously, you don't."

"No," I whispered brokenly, protesting. "No!"

"But it is true," Kain-sama stated.

And it was: their words were seeping into me. If my friends cared, they would have been there when I went to give them the message. If I could have trusted them, then I wouldn't forever be paranoid about it if I could. I didn't want to think that of them. No, they were good. My friends were good, honest people. They valued me! Me!

"They care nothing for you," Seiren-san said acidly, as though reading my mind. "You do not matter to them. Kyoya-senpai does, so they struggle to tolerate you. Honey-senpai can't bare the sight of you –he always puts on that childish display whenever the one he hates most is present. Its obvious Hikaru-san can't stand you, nor can Kaoru-san who tries to be more diplomatic by letting his brother take the fall. Mori-senpai won't even talk to you. Tamaki-senpai does his best to avoid you, and due to your pathetic clinginess Haruhi-san must fight to remain patient with you. They all hate you!"

With a whimper I curled into the fetal position crying. It couldn't be true, their lies. There was no way that they could be true. But it sounded so right. I was worried about their trust only because I couldn't trust them, and I couldn't trust them because they would betray me if they could. It made sense despite how much I wished that it didn't. I cried harder.

I could feel the agonizing pain slicing through me. The terrible knowledge that I couldn't trust people plaguing me. They all hated me. Everyone except him. Kyoya-san. He was the only one who didn't, and that was because he was getting married to me. Out of a sense of obligation and duty he didn't hate me. Everyone else was just faking it, pretending to like me, to earnestly care about me because of some debt they owed their friends. It was only due to that, that I even knew anyone.

But no one cared. If they cared, I never would have been here. They would have been waiting for me. Ten people against these two should have made no challenge. I would have been safe, had they shown up. I had called them, all of them, but no one came. Not even my fiancé. I felt lonely and abandoned. I didn't matter to these people. I was nothing to them. I wasn't ever going to be anyone to them. I was obligation. I was duty. I was debt. I wasn't a person. I wasn't me. I was an item that had already been bought. At least I wasn't going to be sold anytime soon, but it gave me no comfort. Everything I had done for them was useless. No matter what I did, I wasn't going to be enough.

Sobbing, I was forced to my feet again. My tears prevented me seeing the deceitful faces that glowered at me. I didn't want to face them. It shouldn't have been necessary. I didn't need to see those fake smiles of the hosts. They were paid daily to tolerate people they held no, or little, respect for. Whatever gave me the idea that they might have been honest didn't matter. I cried out. I didn't want to see their lies. I didn't want to see them. I could hear a voice calling out to me. Haruhi-san. I had liked her. I didn't want to hear what she had to say. I didn't want to hear her lie to me.


	22. Chapter Eleven

Chapter Eleven

I woke up screaming and flailing. Haruhi-san was bent over me concerned. I struggled away from her, retreating into the far corner of my room, hiding from her. I winced at her approach and burst out crying. I couldn't believe that I had thought such a terrible thing about her. It might have been a dream, but it didn't matter. I was terrified of her, of my thoughts about her. As she attempted to move closer to me, to try and help, I only proceeded to cry louder. I couldn't articulate my feelings into words. I wished that I could have explained to her in some coherent form what had happened, without explaining why I was so distraught.

I was feeling so terrible because of my terrible thoughts. She had never lied to me. I knew that. I knew that the hosts held no obligatory feelings towards me. I would never think of such a thing about them, but it had manifested itself in my dreams. I didn't know what to do. I could my tears running down my cheeks as hysterical sobbing began to set in. What was I supposed to do? How could I have such horrendous thoughts about these good people? They would never do anything like that. I could trust them.

And every time I thought that I could trust them, a small contradicting voice popped up in the back of my mind, clearly saying that I couldn't. I was belatedly aware that I was on the floor, and had been when I had awoken. I retreated further into a narrow corner between my wardrobe and bed. I pulled my knees against me, shaking violently as large salty droplets fell onto my hands and rolled off of them and onto my silken pajamas. I didn't know what to do. There was nothing I could say to pretend that I still trusted everyone, there was nothing that I could do to explain why I was so upset.

I didn't want to know that I had thought such terrible things of my friends. I didn't want anyone else to know. I didn't want to feel my churning stomach. I didn't want the guilt that was battering me. I wished that I had never been kidnapped. I wanted nothing more than to forget the dream and the thoughts that I had been talked into. I didn't want to think of it. I didn't. It was so disturbing and bothersome. And it was so wrong. How could I ever believe such atrocities of my friends? How could I let those dream figures convince me that my friends were lying?

A sob burst from my lips and it was as though I watched Haruhi-san's hasty retreat from eyes that were not my own. I was crying so hard that I could hardly see past all the tears that were falling. I struggled to calm down but only failed. I was aware when Kyoya-san entered my room. He told Haruhi-san something but I could hear it over my bawling. I flinched even from his presence. I was scared. And I didn't want to think ill of him too. I was afraid that by the time this had ended, I would have accumulated a great deal of negative thoughts towards all these wonderful people. It wasn't right of me to think so of them. They didn't deserve it. I didn't want to think of them as I had.

He sat down beside the bed, his hair messy and his glasses loosely resting on the tip of his nose. He sat down with one leg folded underneath him, the other straightened as he rested his head on it, facing my direction. I couldn't help being unable to function as I sobbed. And it was awkward with his eyes keenly observing me. I crawled over to him, my strength weak and pathetic and my movements humorously sluggish as I inched towards him. He shifted enough and I fell against him, burying my head against his chest as I continued my bawling.

I didn't want to admit what I had done. All the wrongs that I had thought of my friends. I was scared that I might do it again, that I might abuse their trust of me. I absolutely believed that they trusted me. I had no difficulties with that concept. But admitting the fact that I maybe held ideas that they all hated me deep inside would be unbelievable. I didn't want my kidnapping to have affected me in such an inadvertent way. I didn't want to be paranoid. I wanted to trust the people who deserved it, and until they proved me otherwise I would trust them.

I clutched my fiancé desperately. He was real. I could trust him. His arms went around me, providing an added amount of security. I felt… safe. My tears would probably stain through the fabric of his shirt, if they hadn't already. But despite his gentle words, and soothing presence it took me a long while to calm down. By the time my sobs had grown quiet and my tears were just a silent stream, with the odd hiccough interrupting it, I was avoiding making eye contact with him out of shame. I was ashamed of my tears and my fears, just as much as my thoughts and dreams had caused the same effect.

I knew he was waiting for me to say something, but I didn't want to say anything. I was afraid that he would laugh. Or worse, just not say anything. I didn't know what to do, and I was paralyzed by fear to tell him what had happened. Why I had cried so outrageously. Why I was scared. I knew that my body was trembling and with a shaky hand I wiped away my tears pathway, hiccoughing pathetically as I did so. I wished that there was some way to suffer without appearing miserable.

"Nightmare," I breathed out. I held my breath and then quickly released it. I didn't look at him. "No one believed me, and-and," I paused to keep my words coherent and prevent my stammering and hopefully give me enough time to master any tears that might start to flow, "they took me again," I struggled past those words. "And they made me believe what they said," I paused at this point. "Actually, they didn't make me believe it," I whispered heartbrokenly. "I believed it without their… reinforcements."

I started to cry again, and it took me a few moments to get my tears back under control. His hand on my shoulder had my reflexes going and I met his eyes. I didn't meet them long enough to identify whatever emotion he was trying to express. I was afraid to see what it was. "I believed that everyone was only being nice to me because of you." It took me all the determination and courage I could summon to meet his gaze on my own. I didn't want to. But I did it anyways.

Tenderness and compassion lurked in his eyes. Tears fell from my eyes briefly, "I actually believed them, Kyoya-san," I cried. "I feel so terrible."

He pulled me close, "There is nothing wrong with having a dream of such things. Murders, ill thoughts, all parts of the mind. You can be innocent of them for only so long, but they are nothing to be ashamed of."

I gazed up at him with tear filled eyes. "It's wrong to think of them that way," I insisted.

"Perhaps," he admitted vaguely. "But you must also be aware that it is nothing shameful. People will think ill of you."

"It doesn't mean that I should return the thought," I snapped.

"But if the thought of rage and justice does come to your mind when you think of your captors, you should not fear it," he countered. "Thinking of justice for them would be considered an ill thought in their minds."

I paused, trying to find a fair explanation to his rational statement. I could think of nothing. I was tired and exhausted. I leaned against him, not caring about his feelings toward the movement. I was too tired to particularly care. I felt him shift and I rested against him in a more comfortable position. He was quiet. I could hear his heart beating, and the sound of us breathing. The room was dark; no light had been turned on. I felt comfortable and at ease with him, something that startled me. I admired his presence, and the security that he emitted to me.

"I'll have to apologize to Haruhi-san," I murmured, not looking forward to that experience.

"She was really worried about you," he replied softly, his breath stirring my hair. "Apparently you didn't start screaming until you had fallen out of the bed."

I winced, "I didn't mean to frighten her."

He paused, "She's going to spend the night in my room, and if you can fall asleep without a constant companion, then I can go to her room." He then sighed, "We're going to have to come up with a different solution."

I nodded, in reluctant agreement. "I don't think I could sleep alone, I don't know about after I fall asleep though. And I have absolutely no idea what response to give them," I whispered. I could feel my eyelids growing heavy, their puffiness not doing me any good in order to prevent falling asleep. "The truth isn't an appealing prospect to me."

"Nor is it to me," he said in quiet agreement to my last statement. "I don't think I'll be able to stay awake much after you fall asleep."

Silence weighed between us. "I'm sorry," I whispered. I meant it that I was sorry for waking him up in the middle of the night, I was sorry for needing him and I was apologetic for keeping him awake and being uncertain of whether I needed him always.

"Don't be," the patience in his voice was touching. He leaned forwards, and gently kissed my forehead. "It is not your fault," he added, a hint of forcefulness lingering around his sentence.

I buried my head into his shoulder, "I feel so terrible about it," I knew that my voice was muffled by his shirt, but I wouldn't shift so that he could hear me better. I didn't want to meet his gaze and I was tired. He was comfortable.

"You shouldn't," he stated simply. I didn't respond immediately. "But I don't suppose you can help feeling that way," he mused. "You know it isn't your fault, and you know that neither of your captors will get away freely."

"But I still can't help it. I know they're wrong; yet I feel some piece of guilt." He moved away, forcing me to face him. "I know that it's stupid, Kyoya-san, but I can't prevent it. I should have known something was wrong with Kain-sama and I should have done something to get away." An errant tear escaped my notice, rolling down my cheek. My fiancé noticed it, and prevented it from falling too far with a gentle brush of his finger. "I was helpless, despite my self-defense lessons; I could do nothing to escape my prison."

"That was not of your making."

"I'm still responsible for it."

"You couldn't have stopped it from happening. You had no knowledge of his family being related to my cousins, who in the end cost his family a large amount of money."

I met his gaze, sighing forlornly. I was exhausted, and this was too much for me to handle. I closed my eyes, resting against his chest. I wanted to sleep. "I'm tired," I complained. "Can I just go to sleep?" I felt a little bad for asking, but I was too exhausted to care.

"Of course," he responded, stifling a chuckle.

I shifted, so that I was seated beside him, my head leaning on his shoulder. I couldn't explain it, but as he shifted again, I said something that surprised me as much as him. "Don't leave me. Please? I don't want to be alone."

He pulled me close, a soft kiss brushing my cheek. "I won't leave you, Ashia. Trust me."

I nodded mutely, agreeing to his terms. I settled beside as ee reached to the bed beside us and pulled off one of the sheets, draping it around me. I don't remember much after that, as it was merely a faint memory, but I believe that we said our goodnights and fell asleep. His shoulder made a surprisingly good pillow, I learned, as I almost immediately fell into a deep sleep.


	23. The Twelfth Test

The Twelfth Test

I woke up startled, only able to remember the end of my nightmare. I reached out beside me, expecting to find Kyoya there. He wasn't. I whipped my head around, searching the well-lit room. Panic bubbled in my chest, and I rose to my legs, feeling myself trembling. He promised that he wouldn't leave me! I felt tears come to my eyes and I fought them off. He had promised. But he was nowhere in sight. I bit my lip, looking around apprehensively. Where was he?

The door to my room opened and he stood there, fully dressed. He stepped further into my room and I staggered over him, embracing him desperately. I felt so pathetic. So needy. I didn't like the feeling of being so dependent on him. I couldn't help but notice with our close proximity that he always smelt sharp. His scent was fresh; something like a combination of spearmint and old spice but it was faint. I stepped away from him, looking at him with guilt. I felt terrible for being this needy. It wasn't appropriate.

I abruptly stepped back from him and looked at him questioningly. He indicated his cell phone with a simple gesture. "My father phoned."

I tensed. "What did he say?"

"He said that he expects us back tomorrow. He wants to meet with both of us."

I knew that there had to be more to it than that. Ootori-san wouldn't want to meet with us for no reason. "Why?"

"He did not express his reasoning behind it." It was as though he was putting a barrier between us and I didn't understand why.

"You have a suspicion about what he wants though, correct?" I asked hesitantly, nervousness upsetting my stomach. His head bobbed once as an answer. I frowned at him, uncertain of why he was being so difficult. "What's your suspicion?" I pressed.

He shifted slightly, adjusting his position and averting his eyes. A knife of worry stabbed into my gut as I waited for his response. "I believe he expects a show of affection to ascertain the stability of our engagement," his tone was oddly flat.

"And if he dislikes what he sees?" I watched his expression, noting how pale and guarded it was. As I waited for his response, the knife of worry that was embedded in my gut rotated. Tendrils of pain radiated around it; my legs trembled.

"Then I will be getting married to another," he informed me bluntly.

I stared at him in shock. "Your father's prepared to arrange another marriage?" I whispered. If my family knew of this, the engagement would be broken immediately. His stiff nod sent the knife deeper into my stomach and I almost dropped to my knees from the pain.

I would receive nothing from him now. This engagement mattered nothing to him. I bit my lip to keep from crying out as waves of pain followed through me. I admired my fiancé and appreciated him. He was a friend, at the very least, and he was pulling away from me. He had been in other arranged marriages before, rarely reaching to the engaged status that we now shared. If he didn't want to get hurt, it made sense for him to distance himself. I understood why. But I didn't like it.

I slowly slumped to the floor, feeling the agonizing waves let up. I looked to the doorway and saw him direct a pitying gaze on me before leaving. The door closed with a rather finalizing sound about it. I closed my eyes, fighting to keep my emotional reaction on hold while summoning logic to my aid. I needed to keep the affections of our engagement apparent. I needed some plan to set this about. I had to find a way to keep my fiancé's father happy.

But how could I accomplish that without his cooperation? Clearly he valued our engagement even less than I had assumed. Or hoped for. We were friends. Nothing more at this point. He had shown tenderness when I needed it, but it meant nothing romantically to him. I shoved away my hurt and abandoned feelings. They were not my priority right now. I had only one goal right now, and that was to keep the engagement going.

I still wanted our companies to unite. I wanted to help all the people who were suffering. I could make a difference in their lives by marrying Kyoya and uniting the companies. If our companies joined, the medical discoveries that could be made would be phenomenal. I wanted that more than anything. And if I was foolish enough to think that my fiancé had any care towards people he held no acquaintance with, then _I_ needed help. He cared for himself first and foremost; his friends were only a second priority. That was where I fitted in. Strangers didn't register on that list of his. I knew that I was on the list, and while our engagement was stable I would be high on that list. Whenever we were having a hard time, I suspected that I would be of a considerably lower position.

I needed to do something in order to show affection. I had to force Kyoya to react as I required for whatever situation that his father might supply. I knew that he would be indifferent towards me. I was going to have to force him out of that coolness. But how, was something else entirely. I stood to my knees, the pain in my gut wrenching. I ignored it as I staggered to stand. I began to pace the length of my room. I thought better when I was on the move.

I don't know whether it made a difference, so long as I could get a reaction out of Kyoya. A rise. I was going to have to bait him. Just how I would get him to show affection would be different, I supposed. But if he wanted to behave as indifferent as I knew he would, and then I was going to have to prove that I wouldn't let him get away with it. He didn't care if the relationship ended. I paused in my pacing; some people believed that hate and love were two sides of the same coin. Anger tended to come with hate, as did annoyance. I grinned maliciously. Annoying him would certainly be entertaining, at the very least.

I stopped my pacing, a plan set out. I would have to talk with the twins and Tamaki-san. They would have the best understanding of what vexed my fiancé. I only needed a few things from each of them. I believed in figuring out how to irritate people on my own to be my own responsibility. But since it came down to keeping this engagement alive, then some rules would have to be set aside. I didn't like thinking of it in such terrible terms, but it was the truth. If the Ootori and Shinishiki companies united, then there would be countless lives saved.

Did they matter so much more than my morals? No. But I wanted this for those people. And I supposed that if I was going to be so honest, then I had to admit that I wanted it for myself as well. I wanted to prove that I mattered to him. Maybe not directly to my fiancé –I didn't need him to admit it. His father would see it, and that might just annoy Kyoya more so than him admitting it to me. I paused as I addressed my wardrobe. Why did I have to admit that I wanted him? I would have preferred to keep thinking about it in terms of "doing it for the people".

I pulled out some clothing, not paying close attention to what I grabbed. It didn't matter really, what I wore. I only needed to obtain information on what annoys my fiancé. I also had to apologize to Haruhi-san for making her worry last night. I changed into my clothes, untied my hair, brushed it and tied it back again before leaving my room. I caught sight of the time on my way out, and gasped. It was eleven o'clock in the morning. I had never slept in so late before in my entire life.

On my way out, I wondered at my feelings for my fiancé. I had never really had any reason to ponder them before. I had started off this whole thing as seeking to befriend my cold-hearted fiancé. I had succeeded in that goal, but I wasn't entirely certain of when. He had shared his plans with me, and what my enemies had used against him. Now I was beginning to feel like none of that had ever happened. I didn't know how to take it. It was hard to explain. I certainly didn't like the feeling. I knew that much. Then again, no one did. It was a horrible gut-wrenching feeling. To know that he could turn his back on me so easily. I didn't like to believe that it was so easy for him to do something like it, but I knew that it was wishful thinking.

As I descended the stairs, I considered what I wanted from my marriage. I didn't expect love. It was more like an extra bonus, if I ever received it. Did I expect to be in love with whichever fiancé I was bound to? No. My love of him would be something that he would earn, logically. But I considered my irrational fondness of Kyoya and disliked what I discovered. It was irrational. It wasn't love either. Fondness, sure. A crush? Maybe.

I wasn't entirely certain of what I was expected to be thinking of here. I felt so confused and lost. I was barely holding myself together at the moment. I was torn by the fact that my fiancé could so easily become indifferent to me. I was struggling to not think about that dream. I was trying to find a way to keep my engagement from breaking. I was trying to keep positive and to continue trusting my wonderful companions. I was trying not to let anything disturb me any further; for fear that I might come apart at the seams. I didn't want to burden anyone. And it was terrible that I knew that Kyoya likely only saw me as such, especially with my behavior over the last few nights. I was depending on him when I shouldn't have been.

I entered the dining room, to discover that the Host Club was gathered there and the atmosphere was so tense it was palpable. I looked at Tamaki-san who was standing protectively towards the door; the twins were looking at my fiancé with expressions of dubiousness while the two seniors were shaking their head. Haruhi-san was nowhere in sight. Looking at this arrangement, I wondered at what exactly I had walked into. I was sure that whatever it was did not bode well for me.

"Why did I see her coming from your room Kyoya-san?" Tamaki-san pressed.

I immediately knew what was going on. Frustrated by their tense actions and the fact that this was caused by me, I impatiently told them all myself. "I got scared and asked for Kyoya-san to come by, last night. Haruhi-san had been trying to keep me company, and decided to take Kyoya-san's room because he was going to use her room as it was closer than his," I snapped impatiently. I glowered at them all, angry with each and every one of them.

I knew that it was an overreaction but I didn't care. I didn't have the patience to care. I was worried about so much else. My relationship was at the top of the list and getting over my dreams second. I shook my head, fighting to clear my thoughts as I entered the kitchen. Food. I wanted something sugary and sweet. I searched for a while before finding a cereal box with cereal that had not been devoured. I poured the sugar coated cereal into a bowl before adding the milk. I sat at the counter, contentedly munching on the cereal. It didn't improve my mood any, but I felt a little better.

Until he walked into the kitchen. I promptly exited it, without addressing him. I had my breakfast in one hand as I stepped into the dining room where the hosts all turned to look at me. I suspected it looked bad. After all, one usually can stand to be in the presence of their fiancé. And I had been doing that before, but now I had left him in the kitchen which was clearly evident to all the hosts. I scowled; I turned my attention back to the sugary and overly sweet cereal, eagerly devouring its contents. I set the bowl on the table, refusing to return to the kitchen so long as he was there.

I didn't care about being discreet. It mattered very little at this point in time. I met their curious and shocked gazes with a glare. "What are you looking at?" I muttered, before promptly leaving the room.

I knew that I had to find out what annoyed Kyoya, but I couldn't do it. I didn't make it very far before I broke down. My only consolation was that no one let Kyoya near me. I managed to return to my room, and then proceeded to cry myself into exhaustion. I felt bad about breaking down. I felt terrible for my undeserved cruelties towards the hosts. Above all those emotions I felt lonely, and betrayed. Not even my fiancé had kept my trust.

It was hard to say I understood him, even though I did. It was how this lifestyle worked. After you were engaged so many times, I supposed that you had to be ready to pull away at any point in time with the relationship. A show of _some_ faith would have been nice and well-appreciated. Maybe that was also a part of why my fiancé's relationships had ended. Because he pulled away. Well I didn't care. He could pull away all he bloody well liked, but I was not going to let this engagement fall through. I couldn't. Not after going through all this. And I wasn't just referring to the kidnapping and his kindness. His fake kindness. All those infuriating, frustrating little moments that he had set up without ever explaining anything.

I bit my lip. I wanted to insult him as some way of feeling better about myself. But I just couldn't manage it. I felt even worse calling his kindnesses fake. With a groan I buried my head into my damp pillow. My tears had thoroughly stained it. I was a pathetic little weakling. I couldn't even stand to insult someone when I was made without feeling terrible. I started to cry again, uncertain of why at this point in time. I decided that I would blame it on hormones –adults always said that hormones were behind everything. Well fine. They were behind this! These god-awful tears that just didn't know when to stop. I was done with them, but apparently they weren't done with me.


	24. Chapter Twelve

Chapter Twelve

Several hours after my break down, the hosts came calling. I had calmed down enough to allow entry to several of the hosts. I opened my door enough to greet them, and the general consensus, judging by their reactions, was not good. I invited Haruhi-kohai, Tamaki-san and Honey-senpai into my room to discuss. The twins and Mori-senpai both seemed grateful to have not been invited in. I supposed that they were not as well-equipped with comforting people as my three invites were. I promised to talk to them before the day was out. I sat down on my bed, averting my eyes from my companions. I didn't want to see their reactions as to how bad I really looked. I supposed a few hours of crying could do that to a person.

"Ashia-chan are you alright?" Honey-senpai asked, and I could feel those great big brown eyes of his looking at me. I nodded, sniffling not so subtly. "You can hold Usa-chan if you want," he said kindly, generously holding out his pink rabbit.

Another sniffle escaped me, and I smiled with watery eyes as I accepted his bunny. I set Usa-chan on my lap, idly patting the little rabbit's head. "Thank you Honey-senpai."

"I'm sorry Ashia-san!" Tamaki-san burst out.

I stared at him, blinking in shock. "Whatever for?"

"I must have said something in the dining room –I'm sorry for it."

I blinked again and then smiled weakly. "Thank you, Tamaki-san, but you didn't say anything." I glanced at Haruhi-kohai, "Thank you for trying to help me last night. I'm sorry I worried you so much."

"If I said nothing wrong…" Tamaki-san started, but did not finish when Haruhi-kohai directed a pointed gaze at him. I was thankful of that fact.

I looked at Tamaki-san pityingly. He had no idea what was going on. Several things prevented me from explaining what they were. The first was that I didn't want to cause a rift in the Host Club and the second was that I didn't want to talk about my fiancé. Otherwise I would have told him. I sighed, "I'd rather not discuss it."

"Is there anything we can do, Ashia-san?" Haruhi-kohai asked compassionately.

I paused, considering. "For the rest of today, and up until I leave tomorrow, I would greatly appreciate it if my… fiancé was kept preoccupied."

Haruhi-kohai smiled, "The twins, I'm certain, would be willing. However, I do not know how long they could keep him busy."

Honey-senpai grinned, "Tama-kun would be helpful too then, and Takashi and I can probably help too." He smiled, "Distracting Kyo-kun will be something new."

I wondered who they usually had to distract. I didn't ask. "Thank you."

"Is that really all you need, Ashia-san?"

I offered a gentle smile, "It'll make my last days here better," I responded. "Oh, and one more thing, actually, Tamaki-san." He looked towards me. "I'd like to talk to you and the twins about something."

Haruhi-san rose to her feet, patting me on the shoulder. "If you feel like talking about it, let me know. If you don't, you don't have to." She smiled graciously and left the room. I heard her talking to the twins.

Honey-senpai also stood up, "Time to go and distract Kyo-kun," he said warmly. "I'll see you after Ashia-chan."

The twins entered once the boyish senior had left. The two of them looked uncomfortable and nervous. I couldn't blame them. I probably looked like a wreck. I invited them to sit down on the floor, with Tamaki-san. They did so, looking at me with curious eyes. Tamaki-san too, had the same curiosity. I wondered if he was aware that he was likely annoying to Kyoya at times. He would have some feedback to provide at the very least.

"So, besides distracting," started Kaoru-kohai.

"Kyoya-senpai there must be," added Hikaru-kohai.

"Something else that you want?" they finished in unison.

"There is," I said calmly, disregarding their annoying habit as best as I could. "I would like to know what annoys him best." I paused, "I'd guess that in the amount of time you've known him, you would have something to say about it. Usually I wouldn't ask this, and choose to discover it on my own but seeing as things are moving quickly, I don't have that luxury."

"You have all of today," Hikaru-san inputted snidely. "And some of tomorrow."

I looked at him desperately, and then to his brother before looking back. "Please," I asked softly. "I'll do any reasonable thing you ask of me –I'll beg if you want. Genuflect at your feet, if you ask. Just please, tell me what irritates him the most."

The three of them were looking at me aghast. I realized it was an odd thing to say. More than odd. It sounded as desperate as I was. I looked at them hopefully. "You cannot allow a princess to genuflect –I will not see it!" Tamaki-san announced chivalrously.

I waited, my eyes locked onto Hikaru-san's golden ones. He spoke slowly, "He hates sweets," he stated, a devilish smile twisting onto his features.

"And disrespect," interjected Kaoru-san.

"Wasting money," his twin added.

"Idiocy," Tamaki-san supplied, unaware of the irony.

"Obvious, poorly managed attempted manipulations of him." Kaoru-san chuckled nervously at that, not expanding on it. Not that I had asked for it or would ever.

I stopped Hikaru-san before he even gave away what he was going to say. I grinned at them all and rose to my feet. I hugged them gratefully, each of them. "Thank you so much!"

I knew exactly what to do. Kyoya disliked obvious manipulations? I was oblivious to the wicked smile on my face. I was looking forward to tomorrow. We had to endure a car ride together. It would be enough time to advertise my manipulation of Kyoya. However, it would only be a fraction of what I had decided to do. Oh yes indeed, tomorrow would be a wonderfully enlightening day. I let the twins and Tamaki-san leave, thanking them yet again. I would annoy him tomorrow. I would also get a reaction from him, one that would not be indifference.

My problem would be getting accustomed to his presence again. I wasn't looking forward to spending time with him, not really. It's hard to say that I wanted to when he had just showed me how little I mattered to him. How worthless I really was. I knew that I wasn't just doing this in order to keep the engagement, nor was I doing it for my desire to be something in his eyes. I was doing it for a much more petty and childish reason. I was going to do it, for revenge.

I wanted to matter to him. I wanted to see him regret what he did. I knew that he couldn't, and that infuriated me all the more. He was trying to protect himself from getting hurt, but in so doing he had hurt me. I felt useless. I felt… terrible. Because of him. And he had chosen a terrible time to make me feel this way. He had chosen a time where I was emotionally unstable. I hadn't mentioned my dream to anyone, aside from him. I supposed that, depending on how horrible I handled tonight, I might need a therapist. Cover it up as some fad that my mother would accept. She liked to know that I was making socially conscious decisions, so that she could know that I was aware of what was going on in my society. It made her feel better. And it wouldn't be a harmful lie to her in any way. Just to me, really. But even then, I would have sought help and discovered it.

I wasn't entirely certain why he had abandoned me in such a manner. Surely he would have known how much it would torment me to realize that I was worthless to him too. He just didn't care, I supposed. It was hard to accept. And it was also rather hypocritical. I wasn't sure if it was he or I who was the hypocrite. I had thought him nice and caring, secretly. Something that he didn't show himself to be until he knew the person better. Yet he had withdrawn once again. I couldn't merely call him hypocritical without understanding his reasons. I couldn't decide whether he was kind or mean. Maybe both. But there had to be something he leaned more into, a category he fit into. A category that he placed himself in, which therefore described him by his own creation.

The chasm between us was so deep and long, that I didn't know if the suspension bridge could span across it. I couldn't see the end of the rope through the heavy fog. I couldn't see if my fiancé was waiting for me at the other side, or if he had left me. I wanted to cross the bridge to know if he really was there. But I couldn't cross a bridge that wouldn't take me to the other side. It was very infuriating; the worst thing was that there was nothing I could do to shorten the distance –I had to wait for my fiancé to shorten it. Being aware of the fact that he might never choose to cross the chasm made me shudder in fear.

It was for him to choose and it intimidated me. It was hard to accept that I had done all I could. I couldn't force him to bridge the distance. It was a matter of his choice. As for as keeping the engagement intact went, I could manage that without his cooperation. But to remain on amiable terms I would again be leaving it up to my fiancé. If he would forgive my manipulation and annoying behavior, then we might be able to move on. However, he did have every right to withhold forgiveness. I knew that my intended actions could push him over the edge.

His parents manipulated him, as did his brothers from my understanding. As his fiancée I was also going to manipulate him. I had no idea how he might react to it when he realized what I had done. I had no doubts whatsoever that he would figure out what I had done. I expected that he would realize it nearly instantly. Thos accustomed to being a marionette and having their strings pulled, were bound to know when a new hand took part in the game. I felt a small amount of guilt protesting my plan, but I shoved it away. I did want to do this. I wanted to see if I could do it. I wanted to know if Kyoya would prevent me, with some additional warning on his part. And again, despite those reason, a pettier one drove me onwards. I wanted revenge.

I felt childish and petty for it, as well as justified and guilty. Again, this time with a weary shove, I pushed the emotion from my conscious thought. Revenge would help me feel better. I mean, it's not as though it could make me feel worse. I pretty much felt as bad as I could feel, considering everything.

* * *

That night, I woke up screaming. I was on the floor with my blankets tangled around me and shrieking. I silenced myself immediately, pushing my dream away futilely while the trembles took over. I didn't let my tears fall as I sat on the floor, struggling with my fear. Kyoya had betrayed me this time as well. Everyone had. I felt torn and indecisive and untrustworthy. I inhaled deeply, slowly exhaling in a jagged breath.

I wiped my forehead, noticing that my hands were shaking violently. I clenched my blankets tightly, to keep from crying. I knew that tonight would be a hard night. I slowly clambered back into my bed, trying to still my racing heartbeat. It wasn't as easy as I had secretly hoped. I stared up at the canopy of the bed, my rapid breaths not helping to calm me down.

I fought to steady them, letting my mind wander away as the conscious action became steady and rhythmic. I let my thoughts wander to whatever they sought and I didn't shove the guilty emotion away. I felt guilty about being petty and childish. I wasn't sure if the reasoning behind it could be translated into words or not. I usually avoided situations that demanded payback as I was terrible at holding onto a grudge. It was easy to remind myself of the pain that my fiancé's cold shoulder had inflicted upon me. I wanted to do something in retaliation. Something that would cry out loudly and inform him that I was still here. Something to draw his attention to the fact that I had not left.

Maybe he had been hurt by the first engagement when it had fallen through. Maybe none of his fiancées had ever bothered to fight for their relationship when a small obstacle came up. It shouldn't have happened to him, if those were the actions which drove him to this. It was a shame and a disgrace, but I had expected that at the very least I might have my fiancé's confidence. I wasn't going to abandon this engagement no matter how much I might want to. I thought that's what those first few infuriating days had possibly been about. I didn't know anymore. I was tired of these tests of his. I couldn't tell when he was being himself or when he was testing me.

I was tired of this exhausting time. Yet, even if I wanted to give up, I wouldn't. I could never leave all those people to suffer. I couldn't leave my fiancé in the hands of someone else. I didn't want to imagine another woman marrying him. Some pampered little thing that fawned in his presence. It made my stomach revolt at just the thought. The stab of pain that accompanied it when I thought of the fact that he might, or very well could, leave me for someone else clearly indicated my attachment towards him. I valued him as something than a friend. But I could never value him as my true fiancé unless he showed me that I had more value than that of a companion.

I wanted to get married to him, for my feelings. It was only a small part of my feelings that related to those sentiments. I needed some reassurance from him that he might return them. And he had left me, easily distancing himself from me when I needed that reassurance. Bitter tears sting my eyes and with an impatient groan, I begged the question why.

I had already spent several hours today in tears. I knew that it was because I was hurt, but I was tired of the waterworks. I don't think I've ever cried so much in my entire lifetime. I rolled over, settling my face against my pillow. At least if I did cry myself to sleep, I could pretend that it was because of the dream. I could pretend that my fiancé had not made me cry myself past exhaustion. I could always pretend. Pretending, just for a few moments, couldn't hurt, could it? I didn't know the answer. Or if I did I didn't allow myself to answer.


	25. The Thirteenth Test

The Thirteenth Test

I was seated across from him in the small, sleek black limousine. He looked tired, for which I felt certainly happiness about. I suspected that the hosts had something to do with it. Since yesterday morning, I had not been in his presence. I had completely avoided him as though he were the plague itself. The hosts had kept their part of my request –keeping him away from me. I didn't want to be in such close proximity with him, but I had no choice. Before I had left to join him to see his father, I had called my parents to tell them that I would be home by the end of the day.

We had been driving for two hours now and I felt like escaping. But there was nothing I could do to escape his presence. Besides, we were almost back to the city. The hosts wouldn't be leaving until tomorrow. I wondered how well they would get along. It was easier to think of them than my fiancé. With an impatient little toss of my head, I faced my fiancé. I didn't want to. But I did have to start my plan somewhere. Here was good enough. I needed to press him, slightly. Get his guard up, a little bit. Alert him to my obvious plan. I was starting my game now –and the only thing on the line was everything. My feelings for him –our engagement –our relationship.

"Kyoya," I said softly, and he looked over at me with an arrogant look in his eyes.

"Yes Ashia-?"

I interrupted him before I could decide whether or not he was going to add an honorific to my name. "I wanted to state that if our engagement does end, I will miss you." I paused, intentionally biting my lip as though I was nervous, "I'll miss you, and all the hosts." I looked up at him through my lashes, "And the time we've spent together," I added as the obvious hint that I was planning something. It didn't sound right to me, but it didn't exactly ring false.

I knew that he was on guard immediately after I said that. Skepticism lined his face as his gray eyes watched me suspiciously. "Really?" he inquired, his tone tightly controlled. I nodded innocently. "I was under the impression that you currently, could not stand to be in the same room as me."

I was grateful that lying would strike alarm bells to him as it would be quite obvious. "The hosts were keeping you occupied," I said, gazing at him. "I thought that you had been avoiding me."

His eyes narrowed, anger lighting them. "I don't know what game you're playing at," he sneered venomously, "but I will not participate."

I let my irritation at him show through, "You willingly assume that I'm lying at every opportunity," I snapped. "I wonder why I feel so mistrusted."

"Like it's my fault?" he retorted. "I can't help what paranoid little thoughts burn your mind."

I gasped at him, momentarily at a loss for words. "You planted them in my head!" I countered.

"How so?" he mocked. "I wasn't the one who neglected to inform my friends of an engagement. You had a clear opportunity to do so."

"Your friends not mine," I replied simply. "At least mine knew and can provide an interesting conversation."

He arched an eyebrow and I met his gaze challengingly. "At least those I value as friends have no romantic feelings for me."

Was that what he had noticed about Shizu-san? I highly doubted that my friend held those feelings for me. He liked Shirabuki-san, not me. "You're being presumptuous," I said haughtily.

He laughed, once, a brief release of air, "Surely you're not the one informing me of presuming too much?" he pressed. "Weren't you the one to say I was avoiding you? Didn't you also blame me for the distrustful feelings that plague you?"

I glared at him. "You cannot presume to know my friends better than I. You met them on only one occasion."

"During which," he stated forcefully, "it was long enough to determine that the boy obviously desire you."

I rolled my eyes. "He likes Shirabuki-san," I said dryly. "He wants her favor –"

"Or maybe he just wanted you to think that, as he was aware that your social positions are too far apart for a marriage to ever work?"

I struggled to find a comeback. Shizu-san was the son of an actor and a model. He came from a family that had no business ties. Any relationship other than friendship would have been discouraged. And it would have been just like my mischievous friend to fake adoration to a companion in order to avoid having his relationship with me strain about something that would never come to fruition.

My lack of a response was saved as the limousine driver calmly remarked that we had arrived at the Ootori mansion. I glanced at the digital clock before leaving, noticing it was a few minutes after one o'clock. I followed my fiancé into his house, noticing his aggressive stride. At least the first part of plan had been effective despite the surprise he had revealed to me. I noticed my stiff gait and consciously corrected it.

He led me into the living room and invited me to sit down. I did so and we situated ourselves at the opposite end of the small sofa. A maid had gone to inform his father of our arrival. Tea was set out before us and I reached out for it at the same time he did. I stopped, drawing back to allow him to obtain his first.

"Obsequious little brat," he murmured.

"Heartless bastard," I retorted quietly, taking my cup of tea.

He drank in silence, as did I. The vexation between us was visible at a glance. As his father entered the room, phase two of my plan was ready. He sat across from us, his dark eyes surveying us. We were both sitting as far from the other as was possible. I was quite content with how this had to appear. We were clearly unhappy with one another. He cleared his throat lightly and we both looked towards him.

"Good afternoon Kyoya, Ashia-san," he greeted pleasantly.

"Afternoon to you too, Otousan."

I inclined my head to him, "Good afternoon Ootori-san/"

"How did your, ah, studies go?" he inquired civilly.

"They went very well," Kyoya replied smoothly.

At my fiancé's look, I realized that the question had also been directed at me. "They were…" I paused to think of the right word and could not my twisted smile, "enlightening."

"Did you spend time… comfortably?" these were very pointed questions that he was asking.

"Relatively," my fiancé answered the faintest hint of wryness in his voice.

"Very," I responded my expression and tone suggesting another side to the story but without overtly flaunting it.

Raising his eyebrows, Ootori-san looked at his son. "You appear tired." He turned to me, "Both of you."

I smiled a genuine sheepish smile. Those dreams were a hassle. I caught my fiancé's look and knew it to be one of frustration. I knew that he had to play my game now or else appear a liar. Or I supposed, he could have revealed the truth and then received the punishment for having helped his friend hear about his mother. I didn't think he would choose that option though.

"Ashia was a little confused with the work we were doing and asked me to help her figure it out. Time escaped my notice, unfortunately." His suave, calm voice impressed me. He was good at bluffing his way through things and at making them match to whatever piece of information that I had presented.

"Thank you for that, Kyoya," I stated graciously. "I understand it so much better after your help."

Amusement was apparent in Ootori-san's eyes as he regarded us. Kyoya turned to look at me and the subtle irate expression on his face was unforgettable. "Only glad to have helped your studies, Ashia."

"And what was it that the two of you were studying?"

"The hosts also learned it," I said quickly, preventing Kyoya from answering. "My fiancé understood it the best however, which is why I sought his help."

"We were studying the eighteenth century Otousan," he interjected. "Tamaki-san felt that it would make an excellent theme for the end of the year."

Ootori-san looked at me, a little puzzled. "What about that time period could possibly be difficult to understand?"

"Well," I responded cautiously, "as everyone will be dressed up to match a particular style from a different country, and Kyoya is going as Englishman and as his partner I must match him, I found the history of the English to be difficult to grasp." I smiled encouragingly at my fiancé, "As Kyoya says, understanding the history of the time is highly important for a proper portrayal."

Kyoya smiled indulgently at me, the tight lines of his face the only sign that he was displeased with any of this. "I do not feel all that well," he said to his father, "I think I might be getting a cold. But Ashia is most certainly right that for a portrayal, an understanding of the time must be apparent."

"I only wish that you could have chosen our culture," I said warmly. "Morinozuka-san claimed it first."

"I see," Ootori –san said, looking between us curiously. "I see indeed." At this point, one of the maids rushed into the room. Ootori-san glanced at her and she smiled, extreme nervousness radiating from her.

"Sorry to disturb you, sir, but your brother is on the phone. He-he says that –" the maid could say no more as Ootori-san rose to his feet and headed towards the door.

He glanced back at us, "Ashia-san you are welcome to stay. You have my apologies, but I must go." With the barest inclination of his head, he left the room, leaving me and my fiancé alone.

He glanced at me, fire dancing in his eyes. At that moment, I knew that he was aware of what I had just done. And he was not happy. I swallowed weakly, looking at him with anxiety boiling in my stomach.

"Come upstairs? I'd like to speak with you were we will be less likely to be overheard."

I nodded, aware that there was nothing I could do to avoid it. I had known that there would be something between us. I suspected that it would not be pleasant. I hoped that he would forgive me. I hoped that after this, we would be able to remain on amiable terms. I didn't want us to be enemies –but I had needed to manipulate him into providing the needed emotions. I was relatively certain that his father's permission for me to stay included the engagement.

Our obvious dislike of each other, with our positioning had given the impression of a squabbling couple. Yet we had responded coherently, which to be honest, was actually quite amazing. Considering the fact that we had made almost everything up, it was impressive. I hadn't expected that it would have worked out so evenly. Kyoya didn't seem happy about the fact. Then again, I had cornered him into it without him exactly expecting it. After our bickering through the car ride he had been expecting something else. I suspected that he was probably expecting a tantrum or an actual fight. Not my calmness. And then I had cornered him into coming up with some story that would align with mine. I had forced him to do it so that he would not reveal the truth. Besides, it would have likely bothered him just as much to say that something had happened between us when it had not occurred.

He headed upstairs and I tentatively followed him. I felt concern boiling throughout me. I didn't know what to expect. I knew that he was going to be angry. That was only a logical assumption. I couldn't even apologize to him for it as I was not. I was proud that I had done it. I couldn't apologize for something that I felt no guilt for. It would have been wrong. It was as simple as that. If you did something that you held no regrets for, there was no point in apologizing.

He paused at a hallway, holding a door open for me. He allowed me into the room first. And the minute I set foot into his room, a mild bout of terror swept over me. I should have paid more attention the first time I was here. I was in his room. It was a basic room. White walls –blue trim I noticed with a closer inspection as I stepped away from the door to allow him access. I hadn't intentionally been blocking it. I noticed that there was a desk with an obvious place for his laptop. The few papers on it were neatly organized as were the books nearby. It was neat and efficiently organized. It reflected my fiancé very well.

When the lights went out, I whirled to face my fiancé. It would have been a more effective maneuver, had the curtains in his room been open, allowing some light. As it was, there was nothing that I could see. His hand grasped mine and gently tugged me in a different direction. Not expecting anything, I followed him, expecting to be led out of the room. When my back met the soft cushioning of blankets, I immediately tensed. My reaction was a little late, as his hand held both of my wrists above my head as he hovered over me.

His eyes looked directly into mine, the fires still dancing. "You insinuated this situation, earlier, Ashia," he said softly. "I expect that you want this?"

I whimpered, aware that my face was hot. I writhed under him, noticing that his leg prevent my movement. I was trapped. "No," I protested. "No I was just-just," I couldn't meet his gaze.

"When you imply something, Ashia," he said quietly, his mouth near my ear, "you had better be prepared to know that I might take you seriously." I shivered, flinching from his presence. Terror made my heart beat faster. "I don't like being manipulated, Ashia," he added, pulling his head away from me. "I'm not a puppet for you to toy with."

"And I'm not some-some _object_ you can bargain away with or-or forget about!" I snapped angrily. I was looking at him now, and the pain came back. I fought my tears back, aware that they were in my eyes. It was unavoidable by this point. But I didn't have to let them flow for any reason.

"I'm not an object for your convenience or anyone else's," I added, turning my head away from him. He pulled away from me at that point, sitting beside me. I didn't move. "I thought you had trusted me," I whispered. "I thought… we were friends." My words sounded lame –pathetic and simple. "I won't apologize to you for having done this," I said. "You left me no choice."

He was silent. I didn't want to look over at him, but I did it anyways. His glasses were in his hand, and he had his head in his other hand. He looked tired like that. I sat up, looking at him with involuntary concern. He rubbed his eyes, before straightening and looking at me. He still didn't have his glasses on. I supposed that it didn't matter seeing as how there was no light in the room. Faint streams of sunlight were clear as the curtain didn't block all of it out.

"I wouldn't expect an apology," he said quietly. "I didn't think of it in that way." He looked at me, "I'm sorry though, you have to believe me. I'm just used to an engagement being nothing _but_ an inconvenience to both myself and often the girl. Unless they fawn." He shuddered.

"You were expecting me to not care," I said irritated. "You expected me to give up on this. You," I said, meeting his gaze, "expected that I would give up." I paused, laughing pathetically, a few tears rolling unnoticed down my cheeks. "After everything? After _all this?_" I practically shouted. "I'm doing this for those suffering. I'm doing this for the world." I paused looking at him. After my revelations, was there any point in not admitting my other reason? No. "I'm doing this because I want to."

He faced me, his face inches away from mine. "Ashia I'm –"

The door opened –I noticed only because of the sudden increase in light. A maid stood there. She was blushing, with a squeak she closed the door and disappeared. The moment and whatever he was going to say was ruined. He shifted, and stood, turning the light back on. He beckoned to me and I followed the feeling of incompletion and lingering feelings held around me as I left his room. He turned the light back on and closed the door, not looking at me. I wondered where exactly we were, in terms of our relationship.

* * *

_I have never written a scene like this. Or insinuated as much as I have done with this story. I'm trying new things. Knowing your opinions of how it went would be greatly appreciated. _

_Thank you for all the reviews! Thank you for reading! Hope I don't disappoint ^^_


	26. Chapter Thirteen

Chapter Thirteen

Bright golden sunlight filtered through the wide, expansive window. I was sitting at a dining table, a cup of tea before me as well as a china plate with pink roses designed along its edge. An egg and a piece of toast were sitting on the plate, looking at me with their pristine quality. There was a newspaper in my hands, but nothing about it was particularly interesting or distinct. I folded it up and set it on the table, turning to my breakfast. As I was about to munch on my breakfast, I heard rushed footsteps and looked towards the direction.

My husband appeared from the stairs, tightening his tie with his hair neatly combed. He walked over smiling, his gray eyes lit with mirth. "Good morning sweetheart," he said, pressing his lips against mine in an affectionate kiss.

When he pulled away, I noticed that he held a piece of toast that had once been on my plate. I reached over to attempt and snatch it back but he lithely shifted backwards, waving it before me. "Get back here with my breakfast you scoundrel!" I called after him.

"I think I'll just devour this scrumptious toast instead," he said with a sly wink.

"Kyo," I whined, "if you're going to steal my breakfast, the least you can do is make it up to me." His lascivious grin explained his intentions. With a heated frown I corrected myself, "As in a measure of food."

"But sweetheart I work so hard to keep your heart and soul well-fed."

"It does little to appease my appetite, darling."

"I do try hard," he said, sauntering up to me while keeping his captivating eyes on me. "But you never seem to appreciate it…"

"I deeply value your attempts," I said, rising to meet him. I walked towards him teasingly, swaying my hips.

He arched his eyebrow, leaning towards me. I straightened to meet him, my lips brushing his. I set my hand against his arm, our kiss deepening. I ran my hand down his arm and felt him tense. I continued the motion, our lips still locked. We broke for air briefly, and I felt him relax. I smiled playfully and in one swift, easy motion, I snatched my piece of toast back from him and danced away. I winked at him before stopping at the table, taking a bite of my trophy.

"Thanks sweetie."

"So long as it sates your appetite, Ashia," he stated calmly and seriously. He was good at controlling his expression.

I took another bite from my trophy, savoring its crispiness. Instead of him consuming the delectable bread as he had intended, I was instead devouring it. And it was satisfying, watching my husband's hungry eyes. When I had finished my breakfast, I took a few steps towards Kyoya.

"What is it that you intend to eat?" I inquired tenderly.

"Whatever is most filling," he responded with a charming grin.

I walked over towards him, regarding him with fascination. I sensed that he was in an enticing mood today, trying to tempt me. I stopped before him, setting my hand against his lean chest as I looked up into his eyes. He looked down at me, our eyes meeting; I batted my lashes at him and his lips caressed mine. "Best watch that appetite of yours, darling, wouldn't want you to be too full for work."

"But I can never be too full," he teased, "You know I have a second stomach for that ambitious craze you always taunt me about."

I smacked his chest lightly, playfully. We embraced and our lips met again in a romantic and passionate kiss.

* * *

"Ojou-sama!"

I woke to the cry of a servant, and felt my cheeks burning. I instinctively knew that my face was crimson. That had to have been a terrible dream. I would have preferred to wake up screaming than to this sense of guilt. Why had I been cursed with a nightmare so revolting? I could feel my stomach recoiling from it, as well as I could feel the butterflies rotating. I don't think I had ever witnessed such a terrifying dream before.

I may have been fond of Kyoya –but I was _not_ that fond of him. And we were nowhere near there in regards to romantic interests. I shuddered, sitting up. I took several deep breaths, steadying my respiration. Married life could not be like that. It was too horrifying to contemplate such a disastrous future awaiting me. Kyoya would never be like that._ Ever_. He was not meant to be a warm cuddly and overtly affectionate person. I shuddered as I rose to my feet. If he acted like that, I wasn't certain if I could face marriage life. The prospect of such… lightheartedness and romance terrified me at this point in time. I wondered if it was one of those things that a person might grow accustomed to.

I needed to address the blame of this dream on someone and I chose the maid. The maid that interrupted whatever my fiancé had been about to tell me yesterday. In such anticipation of hearing those valuable words, I had arrived home and promptly fallen asleep to dream of us in marital bliss. It was her fault. Curses on all nosy maids!

I was grateful that those paranoid dreams had not resurfaced tonight, but I doubted that I was safe from them. Still, they only inflicted fear while I was asleep. I didn't worry about facing my companions afterwards. With this dream I was scared of facing my fiancé. Just thinking about him inadvertently reminded me of the dream and caused a scarlet stain to spread across my features. I didn't want to think of such things so early in the morning. It was only ten o'clock. Covering my yawn, I walked to the door and opened it. One of my servants was there, holding onto the phone. I looked at her, and then at the phone and felt my stomach drop. No one else would be phoning. It was him. I felt my face heat and I grabbed the phone from her before closing the door quickly. It would have been odd had she not seen my flushed complexion.

Dread circulating my gut, I put the phone to my ear. "Hello?" I asked faintly.

"Ashia –good morning," he greeted warmly.

"Morning," I said, opting to echo him rather than make a statement of some kind. I felt warmth rush to my cheeks and I shook my head rapidly as I sat down on my bed.

"My mother received two tickets to the carnival and she wants us to go together," he stated matter-of-factly.

I wasn't particularly fond of carnivals –I had gone when I was younger and had been fascinated by them. I didn't have much enthusiasm towards them now. "And she was adamant that we go together, today, correct?"

"Yes." There was a strange sound from his end of the phone and I couldn't quite identify what it was. It sounded suspiciously like he was eating, by the muffled crunch I had heard.

"What was that sound?"

"Toast," he replied. I froze, feeling my cheeks heat as the dream came back to me. I squeaked involuntarily, burying my head against the pillows as a silent plea for it not to happen ever again. "Are you alright?"

"Perfectly fine," I snapped, turning so that my pillow didn't muffle my voice.

There was a brief pause and he bit into his breakfast again. I winced at the reminder. "You sure?"

"Positive," I groaned.

"I'll come by in an hour and a half then?"

"I look forward to it," I said with false cheerfulness. How could I ever face him again? Why did he have to be eating toast anyways? That was completely cheap and unfair. It was just a dream. There was no basis for it in real life. Yet he was eating toast. I shuddered violently. "I'll see you then," I muttered, hanging up on him.

Why me? Why that accursed dream? How was I supposed to even look at him without blushing after that dream? I was so ashamed of it. I had not asked for this either. Between dreams of romance and mistrust, I had no idea of what would cure them. I didn't want to dream at this point in time. They were nothing but inconveniences to me. I loathed them because of how they made me feel. These guilty, scary dreams did not help me in any form. They were just things that my brain was coming up with. And I wished that they would stop already. I didn't know how long I could possibly last if my dreams circulated between me being in love to me being betrayed the next day. I supposed that I should have been happier that the kidnapping dream had not reoccurred, but with the dream I had received instead, I wasn't entirely certain how good it was that the scary dreams had stopped. Maybe my kidnapping dreams were just shifting their form into this embaressing one –in which case I preferred the form that it took without having shifted.

With an impatient shake of my head, I rose to my feet, leaving my phone on my bed as I changed quickly and headed downstairs. I still needed to eat breakfast and let my mother know that I was going out with my fiancé. I was grateful that she had not pressed for details of my studies while at the beach. I would have told her what I had told Kyoya's father had she demanded to know. But I felt that if she had started on that path she would have been more interested in hearing about some form of details at where we were at. And I currently had no answer to that. And if she asked me that this morning I knew that I would just end up blushing. That dream was nothing but a nuisance!


	27. The Fourteenth Test

The Fourteenth Test

We got out of the limousine, walking towards the entrance of the carnival. It was a grand one, for certain. The line was blessedly short and we entered easily. I avoided making eye contact with my fiancé while I managed to answer any questions he directed towards me. He hadn't asked how I was since I had arrived in the car with him. But I had passed a message to him from my mother. He was going to stay for dinner.

We made our way into the carnival. I looked up at the Ferris wheel, remembering that as a child I had always loved it and therefore I always went on that ride just before my family headed home. As we chatted softly, we wandered through the fair grounds. Some of the rides were far from appealing to me. Like the rollercoasters. Those were not in my area of preferential rides. They were very far from it. I wasn't scared of heights or even falling, but I was terrified of high speed rides with a small seatbelt buckle keeping me from falling to my death. Bluntly worded, anyways, that summarized my fear. I wouldn't describe it as irrational because it was a logical fear if a little extreme. I didn't trust the flimsy belt, even though I knew that statistically it was a rare occurrence, but I liked being on ground much better.

We sat down on a nearby bench –not because of exhaustion or anything, but because neither of us had once mentioned which ride we were willing to go on. Silence descended between us and I kept my eyes focused on the nearby stands. There were many people bustling around wearing colorful clothing. I wondered at it. I was much more accustomed to seeing waves of yellow dresses and students dressed in blue. I was used to seeing a very limited color scheme there. Here, there were some girls wearing hot pink and boys wearing neon green. It was a little shocking –I couldn't deny that. I had no qualms about their vibrant colors, but it was pleasant to notice the color variety.

I wasn't expecting it when he suddenly grasped my chin, and gently pulled me to face him. "I would appreciate it, that even if you are not listening to me, that you could, I don't know, fake it? Looking at me would be a great way to influence that thought," he stated.

I realized belatedly that in my observation of the shopper's clothing, my fiancé had said something and I hadn't heard it. I knew that I was blushing from shame, and the realization of that brought about my memory of the dream. I pulled away from him, looking at my feet, "Sorry," I said.

He sighed exasperatedly, "And now you won't even look at me for an apology?"

I forced myself to look at him, my eyes focusing on his chin. I wasn't sure if I would be able to survive _meeting_ his gaze. "I'm sorry I wasn't paying attention," I grumbled. "And I'm sorry that I can't meet your gaze."

It had to be hard for him to know that there was something that was driving me crazy and he had no idea what it was. I didn't see how he could know that it was a dream causing this. I supposed that a random, lucky guess could bring it about but that was it. Dreams generally came and went without any symptoms.

I had a suddenly terrifying pondering moment. That dream. One might have said that it was possible that I had seen him acting as he was because I secretly wanted him to act like that. Gag! No. No no no no. I _never_ wanted to see him acting like that. If he acted like that, I would be running far away. _Far, far away. _I couldn't stand the idea that he might behave like that. It was simply… repulsive. Nauseating. That was not my secret desire. And if it somehow was, then I needed to be inserted into a mental institution because that lifestyle would never make me happy.

I was content with how everything was right now. It was rough and rocky and uncertain. I kind of liked it that way. It was different, but it was real. Some cheesy relationship that happened where we both magically clicked and never fought would have been safe. Not that I had a problem with safe, but it was something I could grasp. I didn't need cheery, fakery thrown at me to accept something. Actually, those things would make me flee whoever it was. I liked practicality and reality not a fantasy dream that I would always be questioning. I didn't believe that anything could be that easy. That anything could ever be that easy.

"Do you want to go on any particular rides?" he inquired patiently.

It was interesting that I was thinking of my dream world and my reality while it was passing right before my eyes. My stomach grumbled and I glanced at my fiancé. I had not eaten my breakfast in my haste to prepare for his arrival. "I'd appreciate some food," I murmured.

He rose to his feet and I followed behind him, I caught him glancing back at me from the corner of my eye. "Are you trying to be demure, today?"

"No," I replied with a frown. "If I was trying to, I would be succeeding and you would remark on my amazingness."

That got an unexpected snicker from him, "Are you perhaps vain, or seriously under a terrible impression of some sort Ashia?"

I smiled, "A mixture of both?" I asked teasingly. I was glad that the conversation had moved from my silence, even if it was at my expense.

He shook his head, but said nothing. He bought me a candied apple for breakfast. Granted, I liked sweets but until this point in time I had never realized that there were some limits on my morning meal. The sugary goodness certainly kept me alert and energetic, but it was a while before I managed to eat the entire thing. I felt a twinge unhealthy but there was nothing to worry about. I very rarely got stomach sick.

We headed off to some rides at that point, the first one being the tilt-a-whirl when I noticed the fact that the person getting onto a ride, was wearing a neon green overlarge t-shirt. He got onto the ride, and we moved up, waiting for the next riders to finish. When the next riders left, we gave them several tickets and boarded an empty sphere. We pulled the safety bar down, and waited.

"It's been a long time since I was last at a fair," I admitted.

"Me too," he grumbled, and I noticed that he looked a little wan.

"Did you like them much?" I inquired, finding it a little hard to notice that he seemed slightly tense.

"Some of them, yes," he remarked. "The rollercoaster rides not so much."

"I can't stand them," I explained, shuddering. "But I don't like them for safety reasons."

"I'm not fond of the reckless abandon they seem to inhibit in people," he stated dryly.

On that note, the ride began spinning. It was fun to watch as the colors beyond us swirled and blended until they were just a large blur of gray streaked with disembodied torsos of spontaneous color. I saw a neon pink shirt in that crowd, and I could have sworn that it was the same one that had walked past me earlier. But there was no way. It was more plausible that several people were wearing similar shirts of the same color than it was that the exact same person who had walked past me was wearing it. As we spun around to face the other direction, the ride slowing down and our laughter echoing, that I wondered at the person wearing the shirt. When the sphere rotated and swung around the neon pink shirt wearer was nowhere in sight.

As our sphere rotated while someone else boarded an empty one, I noticed the guy in the neon green shirt. He was doing his best to avoid looking in my direction. It took me a minute before I figured out _why_. His blonde hair held a faint wave to it that brushed right under his shaded eyes. Dark sunglasses fitted his suspiciously familiar frame and the neon green shirt seemed to focus the light on him. I glanced at my fiancé, curious to know if he had also spotted the suspicious fellow across from us.

By the tight line his mouth was in, I gathered that he had. "Tamaki-san must have been terrible at hide and seek as a child," I said softly, watching to see if the president would give some sign of having heard me. I hadn't put plenty of effort into being subtle with my comment.

"I would have to agree with that statement."

I might have brushed it aside as a coincidental meeting with the hosts' president if it hadn't been quite so obvious that he was trying to avoid drawing attention from us. I was grateful that he was _trying_ but it was a little late for it now. If it had been a coincidental meeting with Tamaki-san, he would have been loudly greeting us from the other ride. He wasn't. And he was also trying to disappear from our sight, apparently. Yet another sign that he was definitely here following us for some reason.

I didn't like the feeling that I was being watched, or spied upon by other people. It was disconcerting for me. I realized that there was something I could do to draw more attention to Tamaki-san. He was positioned perfectly for it, all hunched over in the corner, with his hands over his face. I smiled impishly, oblivious to my fiancé's watching eyes. "Oh my! It looks like he's going to be sick!" I cried out, pointing to Tamaki-san.

The ride, which had been about to start spinning again came to a complete stop. Someone rushed over to begin checking on his health. I took that moment to make my exit, my fiancé at my side. A few other couples were also leaving. We simply merged with them, and disappeared from Tamaki-san's sight. I didn't feel guilty about having stopped the ride, or drawn attention to the president. He usually did well with attention anyways.

"That was handled rather quickly," he remarked. "He'll find us again," he added.

"It was an honest mistake," I said sweetly. "Mistakes happen."

He chuckled, but said nothing. We moved on to find another line, and from the corner of my eye I caught sight of a neon pink shirt. I had a sinking suspicion that it was one of the hosts. If it was, then logically the others would be wearing flashy colors but there were no other neon colors. There was a large wave of people who wore bright oranges and yellows, but none of them stood out to me. They were an indistinct mob in my sight. I shook my head, and said nothing. It was irritating to be on edge, about this. I didn't like the idea that I was being watched. By anyone.

We were headed towards one of the rides when a little boy crashed into me. I had been distracted with thoughts of what the hosts had disguised themselves as when he ran into me. Due to my distraction, I was unable to adeptly recover in time to prevent falling. (The boy was about ten –and he was tall for a ten year old). I fell sideways, heading for the pavement. The boy (drat children and their reflexes) was able to dart back away and into the crowd. I prepared my body for the impact, my body preparing to catch itself. A benefit of the self-defense classes I had been taking, that they forced me to learn how to fall properly.

His hand grasped my forearm and helped me stand. I smiled gratefully at him, and avoided his eyes, feeling warmth rushing to my face. I know that the time between my incidents of blushing about the dream was growing wider, but it was still happening. I felt like disappearing at the moment. I didn't want him to see me as fragile and disturbed by something he knew nothing about. I would certainly _never_ tell him about the dream. Ever. It didn't matter what I was offered, I would deny it. The dream was too horrifying for an explanation. I might have told one of my girlfriends if I wasn't afraid of their mockery. Shirabuki-san was very talkative about such things and Amamiya-san was analytical. I would not tell either of them. For fear that Shirabuki-san might never stop talking about it, and that Amamiya-san might delve into it and discover some hidden meaning that I hadn't thought of.

We sat down on a nearby bench, and I looked at the crowd and shook thoughts of being watched from my mind. I had chosen to sit down because I knew that my fiancé would both be curious about my blushing and that he might have been angry about the boy who had crashed into me. I was content to leave things as they were, although with a furtive glance towards him I wondered at how he was. He seemed tired, not to mention frustrated. I understood his frustration (courtesy of me, no less I suspected) but I hoped he would last the day. I was supposed to be here all day as afterwards I was expected at home for dinner with my fiancé in tow.

I came to a conclusion as we sat there, looking around at the happy bustle of this place. A small chuckle followed my realization. "We are _not_ carnival people," I stated. Yeah the tilt-a-whirl had been fun. Not that fun. I had been more enthused by drawing unwanted attention to Tamaki-san than the ride itself. Kyoya nodded mutely, his gaze directed at the crowd. I paused, finding a surprise in the fact that I needed to summon courage to voice my question. I hadn't thought it would be so hard to ask for a change in plans. "Would you like to do something else?" I inquired nervously, thoughts of my dream far from mind having allowed me to look at my fiancé.

Kyoya's black hair was combed neatly and precisely as usual, keeping out of the way of his eyes. He was wearing a plain white long-sleeved shirt with blue jeans. He looked very casual and at ease. His gray eyes turned to meet mine. "What did you have in mind of doing, Ashia?" A wry smile twisted his lips, "This place doesn't hold my attention either."

I smiled, grateful to not be the only one bored. "Are you opposed to the idea of roller-skating?" I hadn't gone in years. When I was considerably younger, one of the Shinishiki family servant's children had been a friend of mine, and for their birthday they had gone to the roller rink. I had been invited and fallen in love with the activity. I had tried to go many times after that, but only on a school trip several years later had I gone again and I was still enthused with it. I knew it was an odd question, probably beyond odd, but I was hopeful that it would be better than this. "If you don't like it, we could always do something more to your preference," I supplied, guessing that he wasn't too thrilled with my idea.

He considered the idea for a while before responding, "I'll give it a try," he agreed reluctantly.

Without thinking the action through, I embraced Kyoya with an eager grin. "Thank you!" I beamed.

He smiled back –I wondered if my smile had just been that infectious. I let go of him and pulled out my cell phone and called my chauffer. I rose to my feet as did my fiancé, and in a small gesture of affection, we held hands. We walked with our fingers interlocked as we left the fair grounds and waited for my chauffer to arrive. His larger hand around mine had a feeling of security and comfort around it. I shifted slightly, leaning against my fiancé. Standing as we were, we had to resemble a true couple. It was weird to think that we would be getting married soon and it was stranger yet to consider the fact that in a matter of days I had gone from finding him heartless to caring to heartless and leaning back towards the caring consideration. I liked him, without really understanding much about him. And despite how odd I thought that to be, I was content with it. We weren't the best couple, or the happiest, but we functioned. At least at this point in time, we were functioning. All of our fights and issues had come to an end, through some means or another.

The important thing was that we had resolved them. It meant a promising future, if we could possibly remain together long enough to get married. I was a little tired of our bickering that seemed to arise so frequently due to one reason or another. I hoped that maybe we would start to get along and bond better. The whole fight and forgive thing was getting a little old, I had to admit. I wondered if maybe that was all a relationship really consisted of, at the very basics that made it up. Feelings for one another, and a situation that you were in together that brought about happiness as well as quarrels. At the end of it, all you had was fighting and forgiving with honesty and love suspended between.

I unconsciously tightened my grasp on Kyoya's as I looked at the approaching limousine. My life with him was headed somewhere I couldn't foretell. No one really could, I supposed. And wherever it went, after this, it was going to stay there. I had mixed feelings towards it really. I had this impending feeling of being trapped, at the same time I couldn't determine happiness or anger towards the man I would be marrying. I knew I liked him. I knew that I was doing this marriage because I wanted to do it, and because it was the right thing to do. But I had no idea how he felt about it.

It wasn't exactly important or necessary for me to know how he felt about this arrangement, but I did want to know. I didn't want to have a surprising truth thrown at me that my feelings for him were not reciprocated. At this point in time, it was possible. He might never love me while I could end up falling into with him. I didn't want that either –it would an excruciating pain that I would never escape from. The relationship that I was going to accept would be a double edged sword. I would probably love him and he would more than likely find love with someone else. I would be hurt by that, something that he couldn't do anything about, and because of that, we would fall apart.

I didn't want to be aware of the fragile state my life could go into. Of the horrors that might await me. But it was hard not to be aware of them, as I became more conscious of my feelings towards my fiancé. As I realized that he could very well not hold romantic feelings towards me. It wasn't hard to accept. It was hard to be aware that it could be my life that I would end up living. I understood the possibility of it, but I couldn't imagine living it. I couldn't imagine having to live each agonizing day, aware that he loved someone else.

I knew that feelings were not ours to control, especially those ones of love. We didn't choose. I didn't know who did –but for whatever reason, as much as we might not choose to love someone, we could grow to feel that way for them. But because I could understand it, that it wasn't up to an individual how they felt, I could forgive it. If he fell in love with someone else, I would hate him but forgive him every time. Every last one. It would kill me, slowly, but surely. I knew it would. It was an inevitable fate if my life turned out to be like that. I prayed it wouldn't, but I had no control in the matter. And that was what bothered me more than anything. I could do everything right, and lose in the end. Where it mattered most.

He opened the door for me, and I entered. With a bittersweet smile, I told my chauffer our destination. It was hard to feel as happy as I had been with those thoughts drifting around in my mind. I sighed softly and closed my eyes, setting my head against Kyoya's shoulder. It felt natural, and it gave me some comfort as much as it lent me distress.

"Are you well?" he asked, lightly pressing his hand against my forehead. Yeah, my behavior was worrying but I didn't care to correct it at the moment. My dream rushed to the forefront of my mind, and I ignored it. It didn't matter that much, really, in the long run. It was just a dream. It was also something that bothered me, taunting about a life I didn't want but the love I desired. If that even made much sense.

I nodded weakly, "Tired," I murmured.

"Did you have the nightmare again?" his voice was low and tempting.

"Yeah," I lied. "It was pretty bad." I didn't have the heart to care about how bad everything was. That I was lying to my fiancé because of a dream that I was ashamed of. I could have avoided it. But I didn't, as I was not prone to doing. The waves of change were still churning apparently, and suddenly their invisible force was suffocating.

"Maybe you should make that appointment," he said, and I heard something stiff in his tone. I sat up and looked at him with concern. I searched his expression for a sign of something, trying to identify what I had heard in his tone. He was emotionless.

"Only if the dream happens tonight," I whispered uneasily as I averted my gaze from his and sat beside him. Our hands were beside each other, and I shifted mine nervously.

"Did, uh, toast, have some prominent feature in your dream last night? You had a strange reaction to it on the phone."

The image and feeling of my lips meeting his in a passionate kiss came to mind, and a scarlet flush filled my cheeks and I ducked my head. "Just a bit," I whimpered, unwilling to look at him. I wanted to kiss him now. I shook my head, fighting the urge off.

A part of me questioned that, loudly demanding to know why it was such a wrong thing. Wanting to know why I so forcefully squashed the desire. Because, I didn't know how Kyoya felt. I was scared to know how he felt as much as I both needed and wanted to hear how he felt about me. I just couldn't let him know, and I couldn't lend power to any desire like that. It wasn't appropriate without knowing how he felt. As much as I needed to try, and perhaps show my feelings, I was scared first and foremost of rejection and the future that had just filled my mind.

His arm went around my shoulders, gently pulling me against him. I felt a little like crying, but I didn't. Crying over maybes and what ifs were useless. And very childish. I didn't give into my fleeting urge, but rejoiced in the offering of comfort that my fiancé was lending. I wouldn't deny it even if he was offering it only out of pity. I was angry at myself for this doubt and worry that was plaguing my mind; it was tormenting me just out of sight. There was nothing I could do to stop it. I wanted to. I was just unable to do it.

"You'll be alright," he said confidently.

At least someone thought that. I didn't know anymore and I didn't want to ponder it. But of course, the ride to the roller dome was silent and I was left in the misery of my thoughts. I wished that I didn't have to suffer from them, but I wasn't accustomed to being upset or bothered by anything. Especially not by monstrous little thoughts.

* * *

_Sorry for taking so long to update __

_I hope to draw my conclusion of the Shadow King's Ultimate Test by the middle of March. I am heading in that direction, by the end of the next chapter. The length is going to increase in them (so many chapters with only 1000 words finally got to me) so my updates may take longer, as I am also writing another story at the same time as this one. I hope to keep my updates fast, as in like no more than four days or so without updating. I'll do my best for that goal, for all of you. I hope you enjoy. _

_Thank you for reading and reviewing ^^ They are much appreciated and I love hearing from everyone. Thank you for all the favorites and watches as well. _

_It was strangely hard to go back to Ashia's usual cheer. I tried, but this is what came naturally. I don't force what I write, and therefore it comes better from what I've noticed. I was struggling with the beginning, as you may well notice with the possible abrupt change of pace. I hope again, that between this chapter and the last I have not let down anyone. I'm explaining this, in case anyone is bothered or really notices the sudden changes. Yeah..._


	28. Chapter Fourteen

Chapter Fourteen

In the end, the roller skating idea failed. It was an admirable attempt at a date, but, it proved useless in the end. The only place that offered it was closed for renovations. Roller skating wasn't that popular. However, we did not realize that the place was under renovations until we had already walked over to it and my driver gone. There was a nearby park and we had walked over to it and were currently sitting on the soft grass. It would have been a pleasant place for a picnic, if not for the echoing sounds of dogs barking, children laughing and the water park whirling nearby.

I was content with the clothing I had chosen in the end. I was wearing a short sleeved pale pink shirt with a small magenta skirt over shorts. My shorts were knee length with their color was darker than my shirt, but considerable lighter than the skirt. I hadn't even considered what I wearing today, and it was strange to notice that it was all pink today. I should have felt as uplifted as my colors appeared, but I didn't. My hair was tied back, as usual. I was grateful that in my haste I had not neglected it.

The two of us were sitting in silence, which was very prone to circulating us. I knew that in order to feel better, I needed an answer from my fiancé. But I was afraid to ask it. I was afraid of the answer. I hated this feeling of lowliness and I knew that one way to feel better was to actually ask him about his feelings towards me. I needed to know how he felt. I felt very cut-off yesterday, having admitted my feelings towards him and receiving no response. Somehow it struck me as a negative thing, that maybe he didn't feel the same. I sighed with frustration inwardly. I was pathetic. I was terrified of what he would say, of what he might say.

As much as there was a chance of his denial, there was an equal chance of his acceptance. I was focusing too much on the negative, but it was hard to find the positive and hold onto when the negatives were as heavy as they were now. Or maybe I was simply too transfixed on them. In the end, it wasn't really the most important thing that was happening. Frustrated with this silence, with this feeling of limbo, I turned to my fiancé. My traitorous mouth heeded no commands of mine, as I found myself calling out his name. A part of me tried to stop the talking part, but I ended up losing that battle and I wasn't even certain how it happened.

"Do you like me?" I blurted. Immediately after the words were out of my mouth, I hid my head in my arms and refused to look at him. How could I have done that?! Mortification crawled along my flesh, setting my cheeks on fire with scarlet burns. "Don't answer!" I squeaked my voice higher than usual but muffled by my arms.

He was quiet for a moment, "Why did you ask if you didn't want the answer?" Was it just my imagination or did I hear _amusement_ in his tone?

"Accident! I-I was worrying about our marriage and the life afterwards, afraid that you might not reciprocate my growing feelings a-and with how yesterday was, with the maid and everything, I had no answer to base on how you were feeling-!" I clamped my mouth shut, cutting off my babbling of intimate considerations. "My apologies," I mumbled crossly. "Please ignore my useless words," I added finding enough courage to look at him. I knew that I was at least crimson with chagrin, but it was a step down from scarlet.

"I won't ignore them," he said, his low words surprising me.

I quickly dropped his gaze, my thoughts whirling. I wasn't certain what he meant of that, and it deeply concerned me. I bit my lip, keeping my eyes averted from his once again. "Why?"

"If you look at me, I'll tell you." It took all my effort to look at him without glaring or scowling. I kept a neutral expression as best as I could, but I suspected it appeared very strained. It _felt_ strained. "I will not ignore your words, because I've been waiting to hear them."

I was stunned into speechlessness, my rage and confusion fading away into something less than a memory. "Why?" I stammered.

He looked away, and I was keeping a close eye on him. Was there a faint flush in his cheeks…? I couldn't tell in the faint shade of the tree, as it obscured him from my view. "Because I got a little concerned that maybe it didn't matter what my feelings were towards you, and towards this arrangement."

I froze, the words I had been about to say drying up. He was very right. I hadn't given that impression, come to think of it. I had never once mentioned or alluded that maybe his own feelings mattered to me. I winced; I must have appeared so selfish to him. All this time I've been puzzling his behavior and his words, never considering if my actions would have caused his response. Or bothered him in any way. When I first told him my feelings about the arrangement, I hadn't asked his. I told him blatantly that I was doing it for the people. I was trapped in the engagement but had never thought that he was too. I knew it subconsciously –but I still had never asked him. I supposed that back when I told him how I felt about the engagement, that I had thought that would give him a clear opportunity to respond with his own feelings about it. But he hadn't.

"I am so-" he silenced me with a sharp glance. I realized then, that we had both been waiting for the same thing. A sign that the other held some interest in us. All this time, I had been a selfish little brat. Never did I think of how he might be feeling that maybe a direct confrontation would work. Something about him was a little intimidating, but that shouldn't have stopped my considerations in that regard.

"I wanted some proof from you that my opinion mattered, but you never really gave it. Despite that, you were infuriatingly forgiving as well as kind. But it never seemed directed towards me. I decided to test you, after you revealed your feelings about the engagement. You never even asked mine." He shook his head, no sign of regretting it or begrudging me on his expression. "You exploded worse than I had expected and stormed off. I had been shocked by that," he admitted, turning to look at me, mirth twinkling in his eyes, "because I thought that I had no countenance in your feelings towards the engagement. But apparently, I had some, as you showed with your fiery outburst to my words.

"And then you forgave me, just as easily. Most people would have still held onto a mistrust of some sort, but you let it go. When we were in the café and your friend brought up the fight, I had been completely shocked by it. I then realized that I had a feeling of protectiveness as well. I thought it due to the fact that you were my fiancée having never taken in emotional reactions to the situation. I thought of nothing more after that.

"When Renge-san came by at the mall, and you again stormed off a sense of guilt and annoyance followed. I didn't understand that you had seen me as flirting with her, and being jealous. I thought you were rather rude," he stated bluntly. "And then I received word that you had been kidnapped and my frustrations disappeared as I focused on finding you. No matter what I did, it felt hopeless and I was concerned for your safety. At the beach house, I began to realize my feelings for you. I was becoming oddly comfortable with you, as I was unaccustomed to being with others.

"Of course, at that point in time my father called. With my other fiancée, he had been dissatisfied with my communication with her and broke the engagement. There were other complications," he added hastily at my look of intrigue. "I thought of how we never spoke of anything relevant, and felt doomed. I pulled away to try and discourage you from needing me as you were, with your nightmares, but it didn't work out all that well. I meant to slowly distance myself, not be completely ignored." I saw the glint of teasing in his eyes, and kept my silence. "When I tried to rationalize everything, I found my friends to be frequently accosting me at different times and places throughout the day. I didn't see you after the morning you ignored me and I figured you had asked them to do it, so I avoided striking fear into them.

"That night I was plagued by thoughts of what I was doing precisely and considered my past contemplations in regard to the relationship. I ended up falling asleep, only to be awoken by your scream. I have never known guilt to be so determined in destroying a night's sleep," he growled darkly. "I was earnestly expecting to be ignored throughout the ride to see my father. He wanted to see if I would be able to handle diplomatic skills and if you would too. We needed to have some set of chemistry, just a small amount that could at least be built upon, and the skills to be able to communicate lightly or heavily while conveying hidden messages to one another. That was what he was looking for. Not in great quantities or anything, but something that could possibly grow.

"I must admit, Ashia, that you did shock me when you set aside your anger and spoke. Although you spoke to manipulate me," his eyes hardened at that, and I wondered if it was just the thought of manipulation that bothered him or if there was more to it, "you conveyed a great deal and kept everything together." He sighed, "But there was still no sign of your regards to me, or if my feelings and opinions even mattered to you."

"I tried to be reserved for you," I said softly. "I thought that otherwise we were ill matched together."

He chuckled, "As much as I like to know everything, I cannot know it all." He shook his head, "I believed you when you said it was under your parents' orders."

"I was too embarrassed to tell you that, so I lied," as I admitted what I had done guilt fluttered in my stomach. My explanation was weak and as chagrined as I was, I felt it was right to tell him. He had told me his thoughts and I was certain that it couldn't have been all that easy. "I felt belittled by your clear and logical thought and decided to think before speaking."

When I looked up at him, a light blush painted my cheeks, as shame flooded through me. I felt terrible for having lied about something so insignificant but at the same time there was some justification as I felt mortification bubbling. It was a brief moment before I recognized what I was hearing. He was laughing. Although he was laughing at me I didn't feel ridiculed or mocked by it. I found myself smiling along while I waited for him to calm down.

"You said that in the worst possible way," he told me, his laughter fading away.

"It was the truth," I insisted stubbornly.

"You could have worded it better."

I rolled my eyes, "It got a laugh from you so it couldn't have been worded that badly."

He chuckled again but said nothing to my comment. We were quiet again and Kyoya spoke again. A serious demeanor drifted towards me and I fixed my attention on my fiancé. "We need some way to work on our communication with one another," he stated.

I frowned, agreeing with the idea but not fond of following it. "We're not ones for talking about how we feel over everything. I am quite content with that." I don't think I would survive on emotional conversation with anyone. It just echoed to me of being awkward and stuffy.

"Do you have a better idea on how to prevent our squabbles, then?" he demanded curtly.

I looked towards him, clarity choosing to enlighten me at that moment. "Our bickering got to you?"

He sighed impatiently, "Yes. Didn't I say so?"

"Not directly, no," I replied unthinkingly. I winced and was about to apologize when I stopped myself. I had answered his question truthfully and I wasn't about to retract it.

He opened his mouth to reply, a sharp one no doubt, and then closed it. He frowned and then spoke icily, "I thought you would be able to infer my irritation at them, throughout my explanation."

I glared at him, "I can hardly be aware of everything," I said dryly, choosing to mock his words.

He sighed, his irritated aura dissipating in that moment. "My curt responses come before the appropriate ones," he explained in a wordless apology. "I'll work on that," he added, a little depression and hopelessness marring his tone.

"Don't," I said, surprising myself. "You're you, when you do that."

He gave me an indulgent smile, "You react to my callousness with fury which creates our disagreements." I paused, about to refute his words when my voice failed me. He was right. I did react to him. I supposed that I could also work on my responses but I knew that it would never defeat my initial reaction to his cold words. I didn't have much choice in the matter. I nodded my acceptance, resigned to the truth and mistrusting my voice. "This is going to take a lot of work," he admitted wistfully.

"I thought you enjoyed challenges," I teased lightly, my mind wandering. He still had not mentioned his feelings towards me and it was gnawing at me to not know.

"Ambitious and external ones, yes. Emotional and internal ones, no," he said easily. He looked very comfortable; leaning back and looking up at the sky.

I had to summon my courage to bring up the question. Apprehension followed and doubt prowled at its side. "Y-you didn't answer my question," I stammered out nervously, averting my gaze.

"The first one that you wanted me to ignore?" he inquired impishly. I swatted his arm in playful annoyance, but the irritation was real. He sat up, looking over at me. "Of course I like you."

I couldn't help my reaction. Relief poured through me, my worries disappearing with that simple confirmation. I threw my arms around him, unintentionally tackling him with my speed and eagerness. I forgot that we had chosen to sit at the top of a small hill, and by having fallen with my fiancé, we quickly found ourselves rolling down the grassy slope. When we hit the base of the hill, we were both laughing and my back was against the grass. We had both tumbled down, and I was still laughing.

The both of us settled down at relatively the same time. He was really close to me. I could feel his warm breath against my cheek and his eyes seemed big. I could see darker and lighter flecks of gray in his eyes; unnoticeable when at a comfortable distance from him. His glasses were nowhere in sight. It somehow made him seem that much closer to me. He leaned towards me and my heart beat faster. He gently placed his lips against mine and slowly withdrew.

I stared up at him, happiness coursing through me. We were both smiling and as he leaned towards me again, a loud cry caused both of us to start. My forehead bashed against his chin and he moved away, nursing a sore jaw while I sat up rubbing at my forehead. A combination of pitiable laughter and mild pain came from me. Kyoya just rubbed his jaw looking around. I immediately spotted where the cry had come from, as a blonde in a neon green shirt approached us.

"Kyoya-san!" cried the president, extending the vowels of his name.

As I watched his inevitable approach, I wondered at what I had done to warrant this punishment. He saw me and waved friendly, no ill will emanating from him. I wondered if he had followed us here. As he approached, I noticed that he wasn't his usual happy and excited self. He seemed more solemn today. I questioned that curious if maybe the incident in the park had dampened his mood. I doubted it though. It would have to be something far more serious to disturb him.

Kyoya too had noticed his friend's serious manner and he rose to his feet, offering me a hand. He pulled me to my feet and we waited for Tamaki-san to jog over. He reached us and with a sudden and swift movement, he grabbed my fiancé and ran off with him, leaving me blinking after them in confusion. I sat back down, hoping they would be back soon. I didn't have anything else to do and with their exit, I knew that I was not welcome to whatever it was that they were discussing. I was intrigued by it. I kept to my place, deciding to wait for them as was appropriate.

I watched as Haruhi-kohai approached from the water park, her neon pink shirt standing out brightly. I wondered at how she had been tricked into coming here. I had no doubts that Tamaki-san had somehow influenced her. What she was here for was something else entirely, I suspected. I invited her to sit beside me.


	29. The Fifteenth Test

The Fifteenth Test

I looked at her doubtfully and then towards the host president. I wasn't certain of how I was expected to react to this news. It was quite… sudden. I looked back at her, her eyes averted and her cheeks faintly flushed. Clearly she wasn't lying. That was an honest reaction from her. And it made my decision all that harder. It frustrated me to have this information given to me so lately. Several things had happened in the last hour between Haruhi-san's revelation, question and my own phone call from home. Oh yes, those were absolutely my favorite ones. It didn't console me in the least to know that Kyoya had received the exact same phone call from his family, or similar tidings from Tamaki-san. I sighed silently, running my hand through my hair. I felt like I was stretched too far.

Haruhi-san had revealed to me, that she admired Tamaki-san. It wasn't that much of a surprise, but I did ask about her reasoning behind it. It seemed logical to me, to see if she had some ulterior motive behind her sudden confession. She didn't. She then asked me, about my relationship with Kyoya. It had been a bit sudden, but it suited everything. She wanted to see if I was ready to marry her friend, the same as Tamaki-san wanted to be certain of Kyoya's feelings towards me. It was why the two of them were together. They had intended to talk to us at the carnival, but I had prevented it. It took them some time to track us back down to the park, but they did find us.

Her neon pink shirt stood out brightly enough that I avoided making direct eye contact with its illustriousness. I figured that it was no business of mine. When I finally asked her about it, she told me that Tamaki-san had come up with the idea and she didn't have the heart to tell him no. I understood her a little; when she mentioned that it would be similar to denying Honey-senpai his favorite sweets for no good reason.

Having her confront me about my feelings, I shared both my misgivings and my faith. It was strange, having someone to talk to. I didn't tell her about the dream. I did tell her about why I liked Kyoya and how my feelings towards him had progressed and declined steadily. She hid a smile when I mentioned some of how today had gone. I had been interrupted from further explaining when my cell phone rang. The hardest piece of information had just been thrown at me, and I wasn't happy about it. The worst about the call's contents was that it was both inconvenient and convenient at the same time. Coincidence? I doubted it. Someone from our families was watching us. Not that it was a big surprise, but it was unwelcome.

I sighed, twirling my phone in my hand. I abruptly shoved it into my pocket as I faced Haruhi-san. This was going to be sudden, but then again everything seemed to be headed in that direction. I plastered a fake smile on my face, summoning a happy memory to add a tinge of integrity to it. "Want to go dress shopping with me? My mother will meet with us at the store, but I need at least one person to come and try the dress."

She frowned, and then nodded with understanding. "Wedding dress right? And you need to ascertain how the bridesmaids fit their gowns." She paused, "I'm a bridesmaid?"

I nodded, averting my eyes from hers. "We'll buy you a wig, to help prevent anyone from recognizing you." Kyoya would be inviting people from school, the families that his father deemed necessary to impress. Precautions were necessary for Haruhi-san to be present at my wedding. "I know its sudden and everything, but I would be honored if you would accept."

She grinned, innocence and genuine happiness clear on her face. "I'd love to, Ashia-senpai."

I smiled at her as well, "Then let's be on our way. My driver is over there," I said, indicating the black limousine.

As we walked across the parking lot, the boyish appearing girl remarked, "At first I thought that you were just a family friend of Kyoya-senpai's," she smiled a little guiltily. "I expected someone more snobbish and nasty, really, when I first met you."

I smiled, "I was aware that you were a girl when I first met you. I looked it up online," I added hastily to her stunned look. "I needed to know as much as I could find out to be on even ground with my fiancé."

She smiled, a little timidly, "I thought you seemed oddly distant but comfortable at the same time."

I shrugged and reached the limousine, she entered it first and I followed. Dress shopping. Yippee. My enthusiasm should just be palpable, ready to burst from the very minute confines of the limo. Sarcasm littered my thoughts as I dreaded the approach of the wedding store. One wedding store meant that plans were in motion. Plans in motion, meant that my marriage was approaching even faster than I had thought. I was nervous about its approach and scared of it. I didn't want my marriage to be coming so soon. I was hopeful that it might be delayed for some time. My hope was in vain.

I wasn't certain about when the wedding would happen, but I expected it to be soon. Within a few days at the very least. I was a little saddened that I would have little say in the wedding decorations and everything, but I knew that it was an arranged wedding and understood that it was to be a combination of our families working together. I wondered at how everything would fit together in the end. How would it end? I wondered.

I looked out the window, noticing my fiancé and his friend heading towards the parking lot. I raised my hand in a brief wave, letting it fall when I realized that he hadn't seen. We kept silent, even as we entered the dress store. It felt like a far more solemn occasion than one of splendor, romance and happiness. The clerk certainly eyed me oddly, then my mother. She was under the impression that I too would be a bridesmaid. I subtly flashed my ring before her eyes as my mother introduced me as the bride. We headed for the dresses, my mother pointing out the one that she liked.

It was a plain silken one with a brocaded train of silver. When I tried it on, I instantly fell in love with it. It clung to me as only silk could. My modest curves were more apparent and it suited me well. Silver was worked through the entire dress, making it appear to be sparkling and glittering whenever the light caught it. The veil hung down, obscuring my face. It was as thin as gossamer and had more silver than white. It was a pleasure to wear the dress, and I knew that it was the one for me. I couldn't help but be excited to wear the dress, at the very least of everything that was going on. When I spotted the tiaras, I knew that I would be wearing a small elegant one. I couldn't let it pass that easily.

I chose a simple one, silver to match my dress with two small diamonds flashing beautifully in the light. We then turned our attention to the bridesmaids' gowns. Haruhi-san was trying on a few of them, but the one that I liked the best was a pale azure blue. It had a silver hem around it, and quarter sleeves. However it didn't match with the theme of the wedding, and thus my opinion towards it was deemed irrelevant. In the end, my mother chose the dress that my bridesmaids would wear. Lilac purple was the theme of my wedding, and thus my bridesmaids' had to have dresses according to that color. I didn't mind it too much, but I was sad to see the blue dress return to the rack.

The dresses that my bridesmaids' would wear similar dresses. Haruhi-san would be wearing a short sleeved version of the dress, which reached her knees. Amamiya-san would wear a long sleeved design while Shirabuki-san would wear a sleeveless one. The dress itself was knee length with a silver hem.

Our families had already conferred and decided that the wedding would be a small one, with only our closest family invited. Haruhi-kohai was going to be my maid of honor. I had been spending more time with her recently than with my own friends, and it felt right. I didn't want Shirabuki-san ogling my fiancé while we were exchanging our vows, and I was a little afraid that Amamiya-san might break under pressure. She got very nervous quickly, and when she was nervous she tended to get clumsy. I didn't fault her for it, but Haruhi-san seemed much more composed at all times.

With the bridesmaids' dresses chosen, we left for the shoe store. It was one stop of many that we had to make. I found a pair that I instantly fell in love with. They were high heeled elegant shoes with diamonds glittering on the thong of the sandal design and white cloth to tie it around my ankle. The cloth was more for design, as I could easily walk without the ribbon to help keep me balanced. I loved the shoes. They were gorgeous. For my bridesmaids' shoes, we had left it up to them to select a pair. Shirabuki-san and Amamiya-san would be coming by later to select theirs. Haruhi-san chose a simple lavender pair of inch heeled slippers. There was nothing special about their plainness, but they matched her perfectly.

We then headed off to the florists, where my mother pointed out the flowers that had been ordered. She had ordered them based on their color, which made me laugh when I spotted one that was going to be part of the bouquet that I would throw. Hydrangeas were going to be in the bouquet. That was the flower that Kyoya had given me during my first visit to the Host Club. Lilacs, lilies and hydrangeas would make up the bouquet. There were hundreds of flowers though that were ordered and would be present at the wedding and I didn't bother to look at any more of them.

We went to the caterer's next where I looked at the menu. I had no qualms with the ordered food. I was curious about what the wedding cake looked like, but my mother forbade me from looking at it. She said that I was going to get at least one surprise. She showed Haruhi-san it though, while I waited grumpily outside. All that Haruhi-san told me was that I would like it. I had to be content with that much.

"What about jewelry?" I asked, in the limousine.

My mother glanced at me, smiling, "I'll show you what I have in mind when we get home," she admitted with a grin.

I spotted the time and gasped. It was four o'clock already. The time had certainly flown by. We drove Haruhi-san home before heading off to our estates. On our way there, my mother turned to me with a light smile.

"I don't believe I ever shared what you need for good luck in a wedding, have I?" I shook my head mutely. "Something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue, and silver sixpence in your shoe."

I laughed a little at that, "Where would I find that, Okaasan?"

She beamed, "I have something in mind for you. I think it will be perfect."

I was intrigued by her words and looking forward to it. I wondered where the little rhyme had come from. It was cute sure, but was it even practical? I didn't know anymore. I shook my head, fighting the thoughts away. It wasn't necessary to ponder their origins nor was it needful to inquire their usefulness. I would just accept it.

* * *

_Grr I made several errs here. The dress should be a kimono, but I know nothing of it so it'll be a Western wedding. I'm not particularly happy about that. But I lack sufficient knowledge to work with a true Japanese wedding. _ _

_I would have updated on Friday and been done, but I had to go to the optometrist. Then I learned that I have astigmatism. I now get to wear glasses all the time. It took a little adjusting to. Sorry for the delay._

_Thank you for reading and reviewing –always appreciated. _


	30. Chapter Fifteen

Chapter Fifteen

I had been at home for only a half hour before my fiancé arrived. He was staying for dinner, I reminded myself. I met him at the door and allowed him inside. We went to the living room and I felt very comfortable and relaxed. I wondered if it was the effect that home was having on me. I was, like most people, infinitely more comfortable in my own house than at others. It would be nice, if Kyoya could have given some indication of nervousness but he was as unreadable as ever. I was beginning to become acquainted enough with hat expression to read some of the smaller signs that might show his feelings. I was certain that there was some smaller sign that would give me some enlightenment to his mood.

"You were dragged off to go shopping too?" I nodded. "Find anything… satisfying?"

I grinned at him, "Of course –how could I find shopping for my very own wedding dress a dreary task?"

He shook his head, "Have you been dreaming of this day for very long?"

I frowned at him, "Just because I'm a girl doesn't mean I spent my days thinking of a big white wedding."

He smiled, and if it were someone else, I would have described his expression as being sheepish. But somehow, that description and him, with all his nobility didn't match well. "Surely you thought of it at some point, though?"

I considered briefly, and then shrugged. "I knew that I would be in an arranged marriage –I thought that love was too much to ask for. There was never any reason to look forward to an occasion of union where I would receive nothing. I was more interested in the romantic idea of it all, then all the fancy clothes and the fun and all that other stuff." I met his gaze defiantly, "Did you ever dream of your wedding?" I mocked.

He paused, watching me closely. "I thought of it only in the terms of a stepping stone, before," he said cautiously. "It seems that it will be a much better union, between us as equals."

I grinned at him, "I seem to distinctly recall when you said that I would never be your equal."

He smiled back, amusement flashing in his eyes, "I wanted to see how discouraged you could become." He chuckled lightly, "Apparently you just become obstinate –discouragement is a failed testing measure."

I smirked, "I'm glad you learned that, at least."

He shook his head but did not reply to my comment. When he next spoke, his words seemed to be carefully measured and weighed. "Nervous about the imminent approach of our wedding?"

I snorted softly, "What do _you_ think?"

I meant it to be rhetorical, but he answered. "I believe that you are worrying about it. All the things that could go wrong, all the little details that you are not parley not." A brief pause, a hesitating note in his voice. "The fact that it sometimes feels like we could erupt in a fight or cold shoulder attack at any moment. The intensity in the air around you, which must slowly be suffocating you."

Well, that was a pretty good description of what I was feeling. "And you're most certainly not taking this as in-stride as you want me to believe," I responded, a teasing smile on my lips. His insistent questions were proof enough for me. "You're nervous, that you might say something to agitate me and set off another fight. You feel the ebb and flow of change, the demanding pressure for this marriage to work out, the need for a steady relationship. You're just as worried as I am." If not more, I thought, but felt that mentioning it would be a little much.

He smiled, gray eyes twinkling playfully, "Maybe I am," he said, humor lightening his tone.

I grinned and as a spur-of-the-moment kind of thing, I reached out and pulled his glasses back. At least he had found them after Tamaki-san dragged him away. He stared at me, eyes narrowing, but no dark or ominous glint to them. More like intrigue. I held his glasses before me, looking out the lenses. The focus of them was stunning; with a startled yelp I pulled back, thrusting them back at their owner. I rubbed my eyes, blinking them a few times for added measure before I looked at him.

"You are blind," I announced.

"Almost," he corrected lazily. "And I am well aware of that fact."

I rolled my eyes. "How long have you had to wear those?"

He paused to consider this briefly, "Since I was eight." He shrugged.

He hadn't put his glasses back on yet, I noticed. I looked at him, without his glasses, noticing that he somehow seemed younger and less imposing. He seemed like any other teenager. Nothing daunting or overly magnificent about him. But I could still see pride in those cheekbones, stubbornness in that firm chin and an unconcerned glimmer in his eyes. He was still Kyoya, but this was only the second time I had seen him without his glasses. (This afternoon hardly counted –it was a very brief amount of time and I hadn't admired his features then). I shifted closer to him, unaware of the fact that I was leaning towards him. His complexion was paler than most, but not unreasonably so. He just saw less time in the sun that most did a sign of someone who was at a computer for a while.

I caught sight of his gaze, and something about it caught and held my attention. I wasn't sure what I had seen in his steel gray eyes, but it had bewitched me in that moment. I saw tenderness and gentility soften his expression for a moment, and he leaned towards me as well. I hadn't realized how close we, less than a handbreadth apart when one of my servants emitted a startled gasp and we drew back to our respective ends of the loveseat.

I glanced at the servant, memorizing her face. If I had another dream about how sickly sweet marital bliss could be –I would be firing that maid with sadistic glee. I didn't care if it was caused by her or not. I would not tolerate anything less than giving myself a remedy of some form. I required it. Fighting away mortification was harder than fear, I found. Chagrin tended to creep up on you with either no, or little, warning while with fear you knew it was coming. You could see it coming, or feel it coming. It was also infinitely less palpable in the air between two people than embarrassment was.

"I hate maids," I swear I heard him utter those three words. I glanced at him in surprise, to see that his attention was on the servant who was cleaning up the broken china on the carpeted floor. I hoped for her sake that the tea stain would be removed.

I hid a smile behind my hand, "I have an uncanny feeling that we're going to be interrupted by them many times." I wondered if that happened to adults, when people intruded on them while they were sharing a tender moment.

He sighed and rubbed his eyes before swiftly placing his glasses back on, "I hate to say it, but I think I agree with you on that fact."

I shook my head, noticing that although irritation was apparent in his gaze, amusement was there as well. If I thought about it, whenever I had disturbed a couple, they had only directed their attention o me afterwards. Well, that was the older couples who did that. The younger ones tended to get vexed by it. I distinctly remember several occasions where I had returned at an awkward moment during my outings with the servants. I flushed lightly, realizing that maybe it was their way of getting revenge on me for that back then. But I had been too young to know any better. All the servants knew better. And yet, they still managed to wreck a perfectly good couple-like moment.

Kyoya glanced at me suddenly, "Can I see your room?" I instantly froze, eyes going wide. "You've seen mine," he said, a wicked glint in those devilish eyes of his.

I rose stiffly, nodding uncomfortably. I made my way upstairs, my fiancé following. I wondered at it all. It was strange to contemplate that we would be married in a few days, yet here I was, practically mortified that I had to show him my room. I needed to rearrange my priorities, I supposed. I bit my lower lip as I opened the door to my plan, unadorned room. There were no secrets hiding in here. I walked in, ease shadowing my steps and discomfort setting its presence in the form of my husband-to-be. It was a plain room. Neat and organized. Bed freshly made, with pale lavender sheets folded neatly.

I sat down on my bed, watching my fiancé regard my room as though it were a code that he was deciphering. My vanity and desk were the most intriguing to him, as he held most of his focus on them. I knew that they were also the only surfaces littered with objects of interest. I used the frequently enough that putting away everything immediately was a menial task. They were neat, but cluttered.

I couldn't help but become more consciously aware of the large size of my room and the bed I was sitting on. It was only a queen sized bed, as a king would have taken up too much room. I found them to be rather gargantuan in size –the queen was big enough on its own. My room didn't need to be dwarfed by a giant bed –that was why I had a queen. I watched him, feeling nervousness fluttering in my stomach. I wasn't sure why I was so concerned with his inspection of my room, but something about it seemed important. When he sat down beside me, I had the distinct feeling that an important moment had just come and gone. I had no idea what that moment was.

"You have a… nice room," he remarked quietly.

I chuckled at his observation, "It's bland," I corrected, laying back to look up at the white ceiling.

"Nothing wrong with that," he said softly.

"You were probably expecting something more feminine, huh?" I asked, looking at him from my reclining position.

"Oh yes," he remarked, sarcasm dripping from his words. "I was expecting rosy pink walls with vanilla sheets and a magenta ceiling."

"I'm just not that kinda girl," I said with a chuckle. Then I looked down at my wardrobe choice for today and giggled. "Maybe I am, deep down. I'm afraid that I'd have to search further than I'm willing though."

"I like you as you are," he said quietly. "I wouldn't want you to search that deep."

I sat up to look at him, my weight resting on my elbows. I smiled, gradually letting his kind words sink in. It somehow seemed romantic. "Are you letting your inner host out?" I asked playfully.

In a swift movement, his hand darted out to brush against my side and I couldn't help but let out a peal of laughter as I rolled towards the wall, tucking my body around my vulnerable sides. I couldn't help that I was ticklish! How did he even know that it was my sides that were sensitive? It was a question for another day as he methodically attacked me again, and my laughter rang out.

"I give –I give!" I protested breathlessly. "You lack an inner host," I added an out-of-breath chuckle escaping my lungs.

He smirked, satisfied and shifted away from the wall, where I was still huddled. "Thank you," he said, leaving his sentence hanging.

I chose to not retort, opting to save my breath for a more important task. Like breathing. A vital skill related to survival. Well not so much as a skill as an instinct, I supposed, if I was being technical. I glanced at my fiancé, and unfurled myself to move over towards him. I wondered if this could be a sneak peek into my marriage. Sweet and playful, without being overly done. It would be great if it would be like that, but I wasn't naïve enough to think that we would never fight. If we did, I was certain that we could amend it. That's what we had been put through for the last two weeks. It had been about that long, but I wasn't actually entirely certain. The time was blending together, despite my struggle to differentiate it all.

I heard a call from one of the servants, who was outside my room without looking in. Now _there_ was someone who knew how to do their job. "Dinner is ready, Ojou-sama, Ootori-sama," she said, approaching the doorway to bow before leaving.

I looked at my fiancé, silently wondering if he was ready. He rose and we briefly held hands. Somehow, the afternoon kiss seemed like a faraway memory. We headed downstairs, and I shifted to lead. He didn't his way around the house. We entered the dining room, where my mother and father were both seated. We greeted them warmly, and they returned the gesture.


	31. The Sixteenth Test

The Sixteenth Test

My mother invited me into her room, and I followed her willingly. She went to one of her jewelry boxes, a plain and unadorned one that I had often questioned. She pulled it open to reveal a beautiful necklace. It was a sapphire in the shape of a crescent, hanging on a golden chain. The jewel was in good condition, as expected, and it fit between her thumb and forefinger.

"This was your grandmother's," she said softly. "I wore it on my wedding day, and I thought it proper that you wear it."

Something new, something old and something blue all matched to this wonderful item. I gazed at my mother, adoration and wordless gratitude coming to my mind. "Do I really get to keep it?" Something this precious didn't seem like it belonged in my hands. But I loved it.

My mother grinned, "We'll pass it down the family," she said. "Keep it, and treasure it darling."

"What will I get, in the form of borrowing?" I asked, the prosperity of the bride hanging overhead.

She pulled open a small drawer, and revealed a pair of diamond drops. I gasped in shock. I had never seen these before. They were clearly highly expensive (and of course high quality) items. "Your father gave these to me, on our first date." Her gray eyes glittered with mirth, "He always believed that first impressions were the most important. Now these, I will not give you, but you can wear them on your wedding, if you want."

"Really Okaasan?" I asked, awe in my voice. They were so beautiful. "I'd love that. Thank you." Those two words were too puny to convey my true happiness at having received these great gifts. I felt overwhelmed.

"I believe your father will have finished talking with your fiancé. I'll give these to you tomorrow."

I paused at the door, "You still haven't said _when_ my wedding is."

"Anxious?" she teased.

I directed a frown at her, and she shooed me off with a brief gesture. It was getting to be too much. At least dinner had been wonderful. There wasn't an awkward silence throughout it. I was grateful for that much. However it had been odd when my father called my fiancé off to the side. He wouldn't do anything to jeopardize the marriage, after all this painstaking process. I wondered what he had needed to discuss with him privately. I would die of curiosity before I asked that question, though.

My father inclined his head to me and my fiancé when he saw my approach. He politely excused himself, allowing us to be alone. Kyoya would be leaving soon, naturally. I wondered what he thought of this whole thing. I supposed that I would never know unless I asked.

"So… What do you think?"

"Of your house? Family? Of what?" he asked impishly.

He knew exactly what I meant. "About the wedding."

An easy rising of his shoulders served as his unspoken answer. I directed my exasperated gaze at him and he smiled, then choosing to answer me. "I think it's going to work out." He grinned, "I think we'll get our happily ever after."

I winced, and then violently shuddered. "Don't ever say that again."

"Say what again?" he asked innocently. "Our happily ever after?"

I shuddered again and scowled at him. "We're not living a fairytale, or a Disney movie, so there's no need for it."

He phased back into his usual self, keen eyes on me. A gaze of calculation and measurement. "Do you not want one?"

I frowned, "Well my story won't end abruptly. It will continue to go on. Through whatever sorrows or joys I find in my path, I will walk it." I grimaced as a corny line came to mind. I didn't voice it. I refused to do something as lame as that. _Hand in hand, side by side with the one I will fall in love with. At least, the one I hope to fall in love with,_ I amended to myself.

"An abrupt ending does not make it a fairytale."

"The girl getting all her dreams to come true, does," I said. "But I'll never know if this is my ending," I said, a wicked glint entering my own eyes. "I'll never know if you were my prince, come to save me. Maybe it was someone else out there." I looked out the window, serious. "I know that I like you, admire you. I'm grateful to be marrying you, an equal, and someone who accepts me and reciprocates what I feel. I'll be happy." I'll just never know if there was someone else out there, someone more attuned with me. I didn't desire someone like that. Some fantasy boy come alive. I was happy with Kyoya, or I would be anyways. He was everything I needed. A challenge, a puzzle. He was my fiancé. He would be my husband. He would be my partner. We were equals.

He put his arm around my shoulders and gently pulled me against him. We both stood there, looking out the window. It was nighttime already. His ride would be coming at any moment. I glanced up at him. I had a feeling that life wasn't about to get a lot easier. It seemed more likely to get a lot more complicated.

"Well we are going to be in this for the long-run. For our entire lives. I don't know if you're the helpless damsel that I was meant to save, but you can't deny that I did save you."

I quirked an eyebrow at him, "When?"

"The warehouse and your dreams. You came to me, you have to admit."

"The prince is supposed to come to _my_ rescue. Not me going to you."

"Well, princes don't usually go anywhere by themselves. They are incapable of besting a dragon and use knights instead. The knight slays the mighty beastie and the prince takes his princess. That's not exactly a prince saving a damsel, y'know." He smiled softly, "I didn't have to go to you, in order to save you. Just as the prince didn't have to kill the dragon itself."

Actually, what he was saying did make sense, in a rather odd way. I shook my head, clearing it of that hard-to-follow logic. "We've come a long way," I said, thinking back to when we had first started to wear the simple diamond rings. I glanced at it, wondering when it had become a part of me. I hardly noticed it anymore. Which was funny, because I actually recalled wanting to know when I would forget about it. Sometime in that time frame, I had completely forgotten about it.

"We have," he agreed, steadily.

We stayed like that for a moment, soft silence enveloping us. Bright headlights blazed as a limousine turned into my driveway. It was time for Kyoya to return home. And sometime thereafter we would meet again, and be joined as husband and wife. With an impatient inward sigh, I knew that I would have to go after my mother and pry the information from her. It was a central part in getting married. Knowing the date. I knew that I had something to look forward to, but knowing the exact time would make it even better. Potentially worse, I supposed. But I wasn't looking at fretting about the day. I wanted to savor it.

He surprised me then, leaning down to quickly press his lips against mine. I stared at him, shocked as he drew back with a grin. "Tomorrow, Ashia," he informed me, as a means of farewell as he left my house.

I chuckled to myself, lightly. Life moved very fast. I wondered what tomorrow had in store with excitement. There was life in tomorrow. And surprises. Plenty of them, I had no doubt. I smiled to myself and turned away from the window. I had to get a good night sleep. I would be returning to school tomorrow. And most likely suffer a barrage of questions. I wasn't looking forward to that, specifically. Or to meeting Shizu-san with knowledge of his feelings. But I would get to see my fiancé again and that was something. Something new.


	32. Epilogue

Epilogue

I stood in front of the mirror, turning ever so slightly as my dress fanned out behind me. I grinned. Diamonds glittered in my ears, and cosmetics had been applied to enhance my natural colors. I looked beautiful. My hair had been curled and then pinned up, with my tiara crowning over them. I turned to look at my father, who was waiting for me. I would be walking down the aisle soon, to meet my fiancé. We were getting married, after what felt like forever.

I had expected the marriage to occur in days from when I picked out the dress. It happened a month later. I found it amusing to realize that yesterday had been Kyoya's birthday. Mine was next week. School had certainly been interesting, as I was bombarded with questions about my engagement with Kyoya. I had forgotten that the Maika Magazine would still be fresh in their minds. I didn't hear anything from Kain-sama, or anything about Seiren-san at Ouran. I figured that Kyoya had handled it all, but I didn't know how and I didn't want to.

I walked towards my father; steady in the high heels I was wearing. We walked into the church, my train dragging behind me. I noticed the pale purple flowers spread out before me. At the end, stood my fiancé and the priest. My bridesmaids were all standing there in a line, watching me. Those invited also had their eyes glued to me. This was my day. I grinned again. The bouquet I held, I passed to my maid of honor as my father turned to take his seat while I walked up to my fiancé.

He was wearing a tuxedo and looking very handsome. His gray eyes twinkled with approval, and I stopped to stand before him. In my shoes, I wasn't nearly as short as usual. I had gained some height, which was also disturbing. I was accustomed to being at a specific height in comparison to him, but I was now taller. I caught sight of his groomsmen and wondered at them. Kaoru-kohai, Mori-senpai and Tamaki-san stood there. Tamaki-san was Kyoya's best man.

As the priest went through his whole speech about the joining of matrimony, I kept my eyes on my fiancé. When it came time to put the rings on our fingers, in accordance with the peculiar speech that the priest was giving, it gave us a moment to step closer to one another. I placed the ring on Kyoya's finger first, sliding it easily towards the engagement ring he wore. When it came for him to do it as well, repeating the priest's words back, he slid the ring onto my finger and murmured in my ear. It was no challenge for him, with his height. It is harder to stand up on tip-toe knowing you can't exactly achieve subtleness. He told me I was beautiful.

And then, we exchanged our own vows. We had chosen to say ones with true meaning to us individually and together. Not only that, but we had also written a poem for the other. As I read my poem to him, the butterflies spread their wings and fluttered in my stomach. I wasn't all that nervous, to be honest. I was with Kyoya, here. All eyes were on me like they were supposed to be, but mine were on my fiancé. Had we been married last month, I would have been infinitely more nervous. But now, not so much. I was comfortable with my fiancé and I enjoyed spending time in his company.

My poem, done, I waited for his. His was sweet and touching and a little shorter than mine. His also had a rhythmic flow, which I couldn't help but envy. I wasn't the best of poetry writers, but he was quite excellent at it.

"And to Ashia I place my trust and faith,

She is the guiding light of my days,

She is my best friend.

My fiancée and will shortly be my wife.

I love you."

I blushed at that, not embarrassed by it at the least but touched. It was so sweet. And finally the priest said those words. The long-awaited ones. "You may now kiss the bride."

He was then allowed to push my veil back, and it was as though clarity was suddenly presented to my eyes. We leaned towards each other, our lips meeting in a blissful moment to signify our union. We drew back, grinning at the other. We were now husband and wife. I was no longer Ashia Shinishiki, I was Ashia Ootori. We walked back down the aisle and Haruhi-san handed me my bouquet, and out the doors. The wedding was over, but we still had a reception to attend to. I looked at my fiancé and noticed that his vest was lavender and that his tuxedo pocket held a silver handkerchief.

We embraced and kissed again before continuing to head towards the front of the church. I waited there, my husband standing a few feet away. The bridesmaids and groomsmen came out to stand there. I turned around to grin at my fiancé before tossing the flowers behind me. I heard a shriek and turned to look at who was supposed to get married next. I laughed, unable to prevent it. Tamaki-san looked at us, eyes wide with a soft expression of guilt. "Looks like you'll be getting married soon too," I teased with a glance at Haruhi-san. She blushed.

I waved at them and entered the limousine. I had to get back to the hotel and change into my dress for the reception. Kyoya was apparently going to accompany me. I had no qualms with that. My bridesmaids also had to make minor adjustments. They were following in the limousine behind us while the groomsmen and guests would meet us at the reception. I grinned at my husband. I wanted to think of him as my fiancé. He had been that to me for two months or so, which felt like an age. Yet here he was my husband which he would be for the rest of my life.

I still hadn't seen what my wedding cake looked like.

We arrived back at the hotel and I bustled out of the limousine with my bridesmaids following me. We made it up to our suite where the arduous process of removing my dress came into effect. It wasn't as bad as it could have been, with three people helping to manage it. When it was removed, I was then presented with my reception dress. It was a calf length orchid color, with long sleeves. It was made of the finest silk, and clung to my modest curves. It flowed with my body, moving effortlessly. The shoes that I had worn with my wedding dress, I kept on. I didn't feel the need to purchase a new pair, besides; I liked these ones perfectly well. And they served as the silver to accent my dress.

My bridesmaids then set about to making their fine adjustments with their hair and make-up. They apparently felt the need for it, and I was dragged into it. Once we were done we all filed back out into the limousine. Kyoya had gone ahead to the reception. I would be joining him shortly. We all grinned at each other and my bridesmaids congratulated me. I accepted them graciously. Of course, it wouldn't have been fun had they not teased me. I was now Ashia Ootori and they weren't about to let me forget it. _I_ wasn't about to forget it.

We arrived at the reception and my mother sent me off to be with my fiancé –husband –as they organized the guests. It had taken us a half hour to get here, and the guests still weren't ready? I looked over at him, and we held each other's hand as we silently waited for our cue. We were waiting behind two glass doors with sheer curtains draped in front of it. Someone looking at us from the other side would only be able to see our silhouettes.

"You're beautiful," he murmured again, bending slightly to say them in my ear.

"And you're handsome," I replied, brushing my lips against his cheek.

Our appearances agreed upon, we heard the chatter quiet down and straightened. I grinned, genuinely happy to be here with this man. "…please welcome, the newlyweds, Kyoya Ootori and his bride, Ashia Ootori." There was applause and we opened the doors and walked through the sheer curtain death trap. The curtain seemed to be everywhere, but it certainly made a nice entrance for us as the guests applauded loudly.

It was fantastic, to be introduced as Ashia Ootori. It had a lovely ring to it. I loved it. I loved my fi –husband. I loved Kyoya. We took our seats and the guests made toasts to us. Of course, as weddings go, we were pressured into kissing again. Not that was unpleasant, or hard to do, for either of us. Quite enjoyable really. And then, came the cutting of the cake. We had arranged to dance afterwards. We rose to our feet and walked over to the large cake.

It was gorgeous. It was a French vanilla cake decorated with white sheet icing. Hydrangeas and lilies of icing topped the cake. It was rather simple, but it was perfect. We cut it together and served ourselves a piece. He gently fed me a piece, and I couldn't help but not return the favor. I smeared it across his chin, while letting his eat most of it. He frowned at me, but couldn't exactly do anything as he was eating the small piece. I giggled, and then our guests came forward to retrieve their own pieces of cake. Lunch was then served. There was a large variety offered, but I chose simple things and few of them. We all ate welcomingly. The food was delicious.

I spotted Honey-senpai eyeing the wedding cake. Mori-senpai said something to him and he sighed. Kaoru-kohai and Hikaru-kohai were there as well, but they were in a deep conversation with Amamiya-san and Shirabuki-san. The maid of honor and the best man were conversing softly. It was a wonderful sight. I grinned. And then, someone started the music. A slow, elegant song began to play.

I went onto the cleared floor, and set my hand on his shoulder. His went around my waist and on my shoulder. We began the simple dance that we had both practiced several times before we got it right. Then it was time to dance with our families, and then our in-laws and finally the other guests were able to join in. I danced twice more, before retreating behind the towering cake of icing.

My husband found me there, his gray twinkling with mirth. "Scared?"

"Never," I said, grinning at him. "I just wanted some time alone with you."

He chuckled, "There'll be time for that later. Years of it, actually. We'll be together so much in our own solitude that we'll go crazy."

"No better time to start than the present," I teased.

He took my hand in his and I took the few steps that separated us. We embraced fondly. "Tomorrow's certainly going to be a new day," he said.

"Every day is a new day," I interjected.

"But you don't get married every day."

"I wouldn't want to. I think every five to ten years is a good time to do it though, don't you?"

He eyed me coldly and I grinned. "Maybe every fifteen or twenty?"

"Nah," I said, casually brushing off his comment. "I might get bored of you in that time and then be stuck with you. Would be a shameful waste of time."

"You think I'll bore you?" he asked, shock in his tone.

"Well, I'm afraid you're not exactly adventuresome."

He rolled his eyes. "We'll just discuss it in ten to fifteen years then. Medium ground met and covered. Now come and dance."

He grabbed my hand and dragged me, laughing, back onto the dance floor. I didn't argue. I had been teasing him. It was always fun to do that.

* * *

_And I'm done! _

_Sorry if the last update worried you. I just couldn't end it with the wedding, after the whole build-up to it. Suited more to be in the epilogue. _

_Thank you, all of you, for reading and reviewing! Hope you liked! _


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